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  1. #21
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    I think 10 months is too early for overnight stays. I'm not with DD's dad (never have been) and we're working towards overnight stays starting at 2 years.

    I cosleep part-time with DD and wouldn't actually have a problem with FOB cosleeping with DD as well as his GF as they live together and I get along really well with FOB and his GF.

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    Lovemyfam  (03-06-2012)

  3. #22
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    I dont see the big deal??? I had my baby in bed with me and my new DP...What is it that worries you??? Or did I miss something?

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    I dont see the big deal??? I had my baby in bed with me and my new DP...What is it that worries you??? Or did I miss something?
    I sleep with my baby too and if I ever had a different partner he would most likely share the bed after some time as well.

    But I would take issue to a new partner sharing a bed with my not yet able to speak properly child (both at my house and his fathers)

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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    HugsBunny  (03-06-2012)

  6. #24
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    I don't know. My kids don't go to their dad's anyway, but if they did and he had a steady relationship and she was good to them etc then I wouldn't mind so much, but if it was just a passing fling then probably not. My son sleeps with me most nights and sometimes dp stays over and sleeps in bed with me and son comes into bed with us. I don't know if you can really stop that happenening, maybe talk to them about it.

  7. #25
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    Maybe you could insist he needs to have a cot before having a sleepover? Though you would have to do the same to be fair.

  8. #26
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    I don't think I'd have a problem with it personally, 10 months is incredibly young to be away from his primary carer overnight - perhaps it's actually better he's safe in his dad's arms as opposed to feeling alone in a cot?

    I wouldn't mind that, however, I wouldn't be happy if they are only sleeping with him because they couldn't be @rsed buying the goods that parenting requires. As in children's furniture, clothes, food etc. If you have to supply everything, he's just babysitting..not parenting.

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    mum2bubba  (04-06-2012)

  10. #27
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    IMO 10months is waaay too young for overnight visits away from the primary carer. My FOB insisted on having DS overnight at 14 months and exMIL new DS wasnt coping (as i suspected) so it only happened once and then started at about 18months.

    I dont think i would have a problem with DS being in bed with his father and his new gf because i cant say that if my bf was over i would deny my son my bed.... that would be double standards.

    I hope you work something out that works for all

  11. #28
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    I would not allow any new partner of mine to sleep in my bed with my kids. Nor would I be OK with some woman I don't know sleeping in bed with my child at their dad's.

    Especially if she was a "passing fling", but living together doesn't mean she isn't. My ex moved his new GF in less than 6 months after we separated "because it was convenient" and although she's been around for a year now, he's on his fourth consecutive 5-year relationship so I still don't see her as permanent. He said himself that having her live there is a matter of convenience, not commitment. (Though I doubt very much he put it that way to her ).

    I agree too with Benji that if he wants to be a serious proper parent, he should be making the effort to set the house up as a second home for the child. That means a bed at some stage. And approaching the issue nicely to discuss it doesn't always work.

    I don't know how many times I have "nicely" asked my ex to consider purchasing a bed for our 5 year old if he really wants him to stay there more, since 5 yr old started asking for one at Daddy's, and does it ever happen? No, because that would cost money he'd rather spend on himself or said girlfriend. Yet I am "being difficult" by making this completely unreasonable request. Sigh.

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    pene  (04-06-2012)

  13. #29
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    thank you all for your opinions and advice i really appreciate it
    I think 10 months is too young as well so i will definitely be holding off as long as possible, i am not really concerned about Court as he will not challenge me (long story) but i really want to keep our relationship as civil as possible for DS.
    When the time finally comes i will be making sure there is a cot/toddler bed and i guess all i can hope is that FOB respects my wishes

    Cleigh- what bothers me is that I personally wouldn't... i think to some degree it is disrespectful to the other parent.( not attacking anyone either, just MY opinion) don't get me wrong if DS came down with something or was extremely unsettled whilst with FOB overnight then i dont really have a problem as it is for comfort, what i take issue with is if it is just because he can. i know DS sleeps with me but that is only ME ...i Would like to think FOB would show me the same respect that i have shown him IKYWIM

  14. #30
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    As a step mum I couldn't think of anything worse then sleeping in the same Bed as dss. We never have. I've slept on couch etc when dp has needed to sleep with him due to illness etc. or he's gone and slept in his Bed.

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    pene  (04-06-2012)


 

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