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  1. #1
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    Default Petrified to have sex...... any advice?

    Hi guys

    Im super early in my pregnancy (4 weeks).

    Ive been pregnant 3 times in my life:

    Preg #1 ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks (blighted ovum).

    Preg #2 is now 8 years old. I bled at 10 weeks with her also (and I cant remember if this was after sex or not now...) but i know my ob said no sex or orgasms because of the bleed. I was so scared. I dont think we had sex for a long time after that... and then when we did have sex at 35 weeks she came in 10 hours time.

    Preg #3: now!

    I am sooooo scared of even trying to have sex with my DP now. I am so scared it will start bleeding and end in bad news. I am booked into see my ob on the 19th of June and am thinking maybe I should wait until then to get the all clear and make sure bubs is doing fine in there.

    I am of course wanting to be intimate with DP but I am petrified. I know sex cant cause a miscarriage but can cause a bleed and im just so nervous with this pregnancy because we have been waiting for such a long time and I have significant health issues so am wanting to give everything its best shot.

    My GP said to try and relax I need to keep thinking I cant control the world.

    What do you think i should do- any advice on how to relax?

    This may be TMI but Ive had one orgasm (before I knew I was pregnant but I was about 2-3 weeks along) and didnt bleed..... before I knew I was pregnant I thought my period was coming as I had some brown streaking and one red smear..... but nothing for over a week or so now.... and still strong positives on the test.

    Help......

  2. #2
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    I don't think anything you do would cause a miscarriage. I don't think sex causes bleeding either but you're told to abstain when you have bleeding to not irritate things more. So I say go for it and if you're too overly worried maybe wait for your first appointment. But I think you'll be fine.

  3. #3
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    i was like this too, i'd just make sure your DP doesn't touch the cervix

  4. #4
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    I think you'll be fine - the only time u are told to refrain from sex is if u are classified as a high risk pregnancy..

    Having said that, if it's something that's going to worry you, then maybe abstain until your first appointment. My gyne once gave me the advice that if it's something I'm going to stress out over (ie afraid to do something in case it affected the pregnancy) then don't do it. Not because she thought doing it would endanger the pregnancy, but that if something were to happen, even if it's not my fault, I would blame myself anyway... I thought that was good advice.

  5. #5
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    I would just wait until the ob gives you the all clear. It will most likely make you more stressed and nervous until you talk to them and what you really need right now is some nice calm rest .

    My Husband and I waited for a while after I got my bfp, mainly because I was feeling off and was really tired. We cuddled a lot, and talked about baby stuff and that was really nice We had been ttc for a very long time too and it did make us a bit nervous and I'm glad we took it easy until week 12 (still not over doing it now either ).

    I'd say just go with what you feel comfortable with, if it is really scaring you then it won't be much fun anyway

  6. #6
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    I was a nervous wreck also about this- so hubby and I waited! Don't stress yourself out unnecessarily!!

    It's only 12 weeks of 1st tri, and if you wanna wait longer go with what your comfy with.

    Pregnancy is just 9 months of your life there will be plenty of time for that when you are comfy and happy!

  7. #7
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    Wow, I didn't realize so many women abstained from sex for their first 12 weeks. I am the total opposite. I totally go for it!! I've had several early miscarriages, and several early bleeds that have resulted in early miscarriage or healthy babies. But I look at it realistically. Miscarriage is natual selection. It's not caused by sex or sperm or bouncing in the car or going to a loud concert or bad thoughts or any of those other things. Not taking away from the emotional loss felt by it of course. But to me, my embryo, if it wants to delevop into a fetus, will be strong and healthy enough to withstand even the roughest horizontal activity. In saying that, you are your own person and if it worries you, and it feels right to give sex a miss until you're comfortable, then you should go with how you feel. There's plenty of other intimate activities that can satisfy your partner. You can always make up for it later on. Good luck.

  8. #8
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    I have had a few miscarriages, docs here in Australia say 'it's one of those things', this time I fell pregnant I was overseas ... Doc there said with a 'precious' pregnancy (meaning a history of miscarriage) we should refrain from sex until after 12 weeks, and then my DH should not ejaculate inside (sorry TMI) until when the baby is nearly due, as sperm can have an effect on the cervix.
    i am now 37 weeks - so it seems the advice worked - I'd rather be safe than sorry!

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to fionaalice For This Useful Post:

    Liddybugs  (04-06-2012)

  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by fionaalice View Post
    I have had a few miscarriages, docs here in Australia say 'it's one of those things', this time I fell pregnant I was overseas ... Doc there said with a 'precious' pregnancy (meaning a history of miscarriage) we should refrain from sex until after 12 weeks, and then my DH should not ejaculate inside (sorry TMI) until when the baby is nearly due, as sperm can have an effect on the cervix.
    i am now 37 weeks - so it seems the advice worked - I'd rather be safe than sorry!
    I agree.
    This was the same advise I was given!
    I had sex once at the beginning of my preg and started bleeding.
    I bled on and off after that for ages.
    I never lost bub. But it was extremely scary.

    My OB also didn't do transviganal ultrasounds due to the bleeding.

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    fionaalice  (04-06-2012)

  12. #10
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    Well I have an extremely high risk
    Pregnancy and my Ob has said "go for it"... We dtd about 3 times a week an I haven't had any problems with this so far, and I'm currently 27 weeks... Been dtd all the way through...


 

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