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  1. #11
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    I think in general, yes they do. *I* believe society places too much emphasis on looks, and we are programmed to believe skinnier is better.

    For me personally, when I am skinny, I have alot of confidence and put myself out there more. Now after bubs number 3 and being about 20 kilos overweight, my self confidence is low and I have become a bit of an introvert. The few time I have gone clothes shopping etc, I think I put out there to leave me be IYKWIM?!?

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    I worked with someone who reported this and I gave it a bit of thought at that time.

    I think what it is... is ourselves. In life, we think, we believe, we create. We do it without even knowing a lot of the time.

    When we feel worthy of love and affection, others sense this (without knowing) and are warmer towards us. When we don't feel worthy, the opposite happens.

    I don't struggle with weight, but I do certainly struggle with other aspects of my appearance since having babies. I'm determined to make a come-back when I can but for now I'm feeling a lot less worthy than I was and I do notice quite a different reception around town.

    When I'm feeling back on top (and by god I will be before too long dammit) I expect that will change for the better. How much I love me very much determines how much others are prepared to love me.

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  4. #13
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    ToughLove is offline Meaner than a junkyard dog
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    Sortof related.
    6 years ago I was a size 8A
    I'm a 12JJ now and notice a significant increase in the amount of free items, unrequired help from shop assistants {50/50 split between the genders, too, which is interesting}, people are nicer to me, more willing to chat, giving free upgrades on meals and drinks, giving seats to me, making way for me in crowds...it's ridiculous.

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    I have never been skinny, and there's probably only a 20kg difference between my highest and lowest weights. Plus I'm not particularly attractive.

    I notice that people treat me differently to thinner and more attractive people when I'm out.

    I remember reading an article once with some research that more attractive people have better employment prospects as well. From memory, there was something in an attractive person's face that triggered some sort of positive emotion. Dunno. probably some evolutionary based thing.

    I don't think most people even do it intentionally. It almost seems like some ingrained reaction. I think the obese are either invisible or loathed in our society for the most part.

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    Definitely, I've noticed since ds people haven't tried to help me in clothes stores as much or even wanted to spend as much tome jabbing at the check out as they did. In trying to be confident but when all I see is judgmental stares it kindnof wades away. I once also heard a sales assistant in a quite popular store tell a customer that there was no way she would find anything to fit her because they "only cater to a size 14." a few times she repeated it and quite loudly. Needless to say I left buying nothing. ESP seeing as I'm sitting on a 10-12, I don't want thy kind of thing being broadcasted.



    Eta: I definitely dint thunk vein my size means nothing wrong with me, but to have someone speak badly of it and in a negative way is disgusting and I didn't want to have to deal with it.
    Last edited by Niki24; 02-06-2012 at 21:46.

  7. #16
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    I'm really bubbly and chatty in shops, I used to work in retail management and sales coaching, so the environment triggers it I swear, lol. I drag conversation and service out of people.

    6 years ago I was a model, I have since added about 40kgs to my frame and yes, I do notice a huge difference and those who know me say I haven't changed much personality wise, I just crack more self-deprivating jokes. Like Trish, I don't get the freebies or the ego boosting looks like I did before. I often wonder if people would be more eager to make friends if I aesthetically fit in with their posse.

    I feel I have to be so much more fabulous looking to be 'accepted', as if I have to make up for my ever expanding backside.

    I aint mad, I was pretty judgey about people who were overweight before I was. It wasn't a concious thing, I just figured we had little in common. How ignorant was I?

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  9. #17
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Thanks for all the replies guys, and while it sucks, I'm kind of glad to know I'm not the only one who's noticed it.

    OBVIOUSLY I expected that I'd probably be treated differently by males when I go out for a night... that was something I prepared for. I just wasn't prepared for everyone's attitudes towards me to change. In a way, it just makes me hate people even more than I already do.

    And PP - I've never been skinny either, and probably never will be... I think I am now more of an "acceptable size," in the eyes of others though... whereas before I was mostly invisible (or at least treated as if I was). I personally think I'm currently "chubby," in the eyes of most people. Fatter than average, but not what people would label as obese anymore.

  12. #19
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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    There's also research to show that teachers respond more favourably to more attractive students too.

    It's the human condition....

  13. #20
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    Disclaimer *I am still not skinny

    YES, It is amazing how different they treat me.

    I lost 88 kgs and with I noticed it at about 40 kilo lost and from then on it just got worse/better with every kilo i went down.

    The mum at school were the worst. I had been there for 4 years and all of a suddenly it was like I took of my coat of invisibility and they could see I was a real person not just a side show freak.

    I hate it with a passion, when I think about it actually makes me cry. Yes I was huge but I still was a human. I was as much worth knowing than as i am now.


 

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