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  1. #181
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    Bell & Bug, I keep trying to quote you but it won't let me for some reason.

    I completely understand how you feel regarding the situation while swimming. There is a big difference between someone sayin "wow, you don't look like you have had kids, you look great" in a positive happy voice. But when someone says something similar with a few words changed and a bit of nastiness in their tone it completely changes.

    Again for some reason that baffles me, it's socially acceptable to point out peoples weight if they are skinny but not if they are bigger. I am getting to the point where I feel like saying, is there any other physical attribute of mine you would like to make a comment about today?

    Don't feel as though you have to cover up. Even though I am skinny, I hate showing my body, it's not nice to look at. If I could feel confident enough to wear a bikini, I would. Make the most of it

  2. #182
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    I never said it was because they are jealous of me. I'm am very far from a vain person, quite the opposite actually I'm not sure what gave you the asumption that I was being vain and thought they were all jealous of me?

    Maybe they act this way because slimmer people have been rude to them in the past or maybe its because of coincidence as I previously stated.

    This thread was about people being nicer towards you when you are skinnier, I just wanted to state that for me, it doesn't seem to be the case and that generally comes from larger people who don't know me.

    Some of my close friends are bigger people as are quite a few people in my family so it certainly wasn't an attack on anyone.
    I didn't mean to use the word vain offensively and I'm sorry for that, it was the only way I could describe what I thought when I read your post (and others) I was trying to say that even though we presume they're being this way it may not be as it seems, it may not be because your thin and they're not (which I equate to jealousy like previoulsy stated) but, it could be from a multitude of reasons that have nothing to do with appearance! I think we are too self critical and paranoid and sometimes (and we're all guilty of it!) worry what people think of our looks and forget what it is we're projecting.
    Have you ever seen someone staring at you from afar and you think 'gees why's that person staring at me? They're giving me some mean dirties' 'Is it my weight? Is it my clothes' and the mind starts ticking, but in reality they're actually thinking 'why is this chick staring at me' and thats it! That's all it really is you're staring at them also and they're wondering the same thing!!

  3. #183
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    Again for some reason that baffles me, it's socially acceptable to point out peoples weight if they are skinny but not if they are bigger.
    It's strange how acceptable this seems to be. Our society tends to look those who are underweight with envy and those who are overweight with pity, but this doesn't explain why it seems more acceptable to make derogatory comments about one but not the other. Maybe people assume that being thin is a choice, that it's the person's intent to look that way, therefore they open themselves to derision?

    My children are taught that we simply don't talk about how people look; it's a shame more adults aren't able to exercise this kind of discretion
    Last edited by lambjam; 05-06-2012 at 15:13.

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  5. #184
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    I'll add to that, and say that I think it's also unfortunate how acceptable it seems to be to comment on a pregnant woman's figure. To say whether it is too big/ too small, to point out when a belly is protruding, and even to grab it. I hated that when I was pregnant with DD.

  6. #185
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    Someone I used to work with used to tease me for my weight, would make up names for me like 'a walking pencil'. At work. I imagine if somebody teased and made up names for somebody who is larger they would be immediately done for harassment - I made a complaint about this and said how it makes me extremely uncomfortable and never heard a word back. It was completely ignored.

    I do think large people hear some incredibly nasty things, too. It's just awful. The amount of times I hear 'such and such should just exercise like me' is just absurd.

    I agree Girl X, the free reign over women's bodies during pregnancy is revolting. It seems to start from the minute she announces.

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  8. #186
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I'll add to that, and say that I think it's also unfortunate how acceptable it seems to be to comment on a pregnant woman's figure. To say whether it is too big/ too small, to point out when a belly is protruding, and even to grab it. I hated that when I was pregnant with DD.
    Oh yes! When served with a "Wow, you're huge!" I was often tempted to reply with a loud "Wow, you too!"

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  10. #187
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I agree Girl X, the free reign over women's bodies during pregnancy is revolting. It seems to start from the minute she announces.
    It does! I announced my pregnancy with DD when I was 10 weeks pregnant, and had zero bump. Was wearing a size 10 dress, and had lost some kgs throughout first trimester.

    One workmate still thought it was appropriate to put her hand on my belly and 'check' for a bump. She was then on 'bump watch' forever more, and said things like "Ooh I can see a pot belly!" when one started emerging.

    Pregnant or not, I would wager that no woman wants to ever hear that sentence!

    Sorry Sassy... I digress...

  11. #188
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Someone I used to work with used to tease me for my weight, would make up names for me like 'a walking pencil'. At work. I imagine if somebody teased and made up names for somebody who is larger they would be immediately done for harassment - I made a complaint about this and said how it makes me extremely uncomfortable and never heard a word back. It was completely ignored.

    I do think large people hear some incredibly nasty things, too. It's just awful. The amount of times I hear 'such and such should just exercise like me' is just absurd.

    I agree Girl X, the free reign over women's bodies during pregnancy is revolting. It seems to start from the minute she announces.
    yeah the "if you just xYZ you would be *this*"

    no - that's how YOUR body works.

    though this thread I've been thinking about my weight and I've put my prepreg weight photo as my phone home screen as a reminder to try to make good food choices.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub


 

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