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  1. #1
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    Default Are people nicer to you when you're skinnier? How do you not want to yell at them?

    So 33kg gone now, and people are nicer to me. People in general are just nicer - shop assistants, school mothers, random people... but also the people I know IRL. Not everyone, but people that didn't seem to like me much and were a bit mean are now really friendly. BIL was a right jerk, and lately I've noticed he's really nice... offering me drinks, moving over so I can sit down, talking to me. Previously he just ignored me, mostly. He's just an example - everyone, overall, is nicer (DP is the same... so is DD and my mother... lol).

    Now, you'd think that would be a positive thing, and in a way it is, but in another way, sometimes it makes me fume on the inside because it makes me wonder why I wasn't good enough to be nice to before. All that's changed is my weight. I am the same otherwise. So why am I now worthy of kindness?

    Has this happened to you? Or has the OPPOSITE happened? How do you deal with it? How do you not end up losing your sh*t because someone is now treating you like an actual human being simply because you're not as fat as you used to be?

    Like I said, in some ways I like it... but in other ways, I just want to scream.

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    yes. 30kgs ago I was regularly given discount/freebies/upsizes in shops, Id never paid for a drink in a bar, always had a sales assistant help with clothes etc.
    now im just as friendly and have to pay for stuff
    ive also moved from a large city to a small town, so i guess the dynamic is different too.

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    Not quite the same... But i notice a difference between how im treated when i wear contacts vs when i wear my glasses.

    Im yet to work out if its because im self conscious with glasses and confident when i have contacts in, people react to that.. Or if its because i look like the massive nerd that i am in glasses

    Perhaps they react to your change in confidence/self esteem? As opposed to your looks per say? I dont know. People are jerks mostly, wouldnt surprise me if they were judging you being bigger. Sigh.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

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  6. #4
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    I have noticed a change in how certian people treat me since losing weight. I used to get really annoyed about it but I thought about it for a while and realised that it was the way I was acting that made the difference. I am more confident in everything now and I think that is why I feel I am being treated differently iykwim...

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    Yes.. absolutely.

    I was skinny all my life... and lived a bloody dream...

    then I got fat... really fat. over 90kgs on a 5ft body and the way I was treated was soooooooooooooo different

    And then I lost weight again, and I'm still not back to what I was yet... but I'm back to a 10-12... and people are so nice to me again....

    People definitely treat you different when you're thin and fat...

    yeah.... sad but hey that's the way it is... and honestly, I'm so glad I'm back on this side of the fence......

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    I agree that sometimes it might be a matter of confidence... but a lot of the time, I am not acting terribly confident, and I still get treated better.

    Skinny young girls serving me in shops joke with me and act like I'm their peer or something. Previously I had to seek out staff if I needed help. When I am shopping, confidence levels drop heaps for me (because despite being smaller, I still have a PITA body shape to fit), so I'm all quiet and not eager to chat... and usually kind of mopey... lol... but they're still totally bubbly and friendly.

    I am no different around my ILs either, because I am still keen to keep my surgery from BIL and SIL (PILs know) so if anything, I am more nervous around them because interacting with them generally involves dinner... and I'm always scared they're going to notice my minimal amount of food and say something... so I try to remain as invisible as possible.

    I know I probably got lots of attention when I went out clubbing because I was drunk and in everyone's face and had no inhibitions whatsoever... but in general life, I'm not like that.

  10. #7
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Yup, all the time. People walk past me and smile. Wtf i get a complex about it. Lol is there something on my face?

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    It has nothing to do with confidence and everything to do with social perception.

    I have always been confident and happy... and I'm still the same personality wise... however, I am absolutely treated differently now that I'm thin again.

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    Yep almost 30kgs and 3 dress sizes ago people were a whole lot nicer. They'd remember my name, offer me service instead of me having to chase them like a weirdo through the shops. I'd get free shots of vanilla in my latte now I don't and its at the same shop. My kids now comment on my fatness instead of my prettiness. My boss took me seriously. Then I got fat and got fired. I didn't get looks of 'I hope your here to buy shoes or a gift because you don't deserve to wear our clothes' and the checkout person at woolies was more chatting and didn't give me 'the look' while scanning my tim tams and 5 litre tub of double double chocolate real cream icecream...

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    yep, nothing to do with confidence here. i thought i was massive as a size 12, if anything im more confident as a pregnant whale atm, since i have an excuse.


 

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