money offer

[Hunkamunka]

My parents have found out we they are expecting their 2nd grandchild over the moon and beyond proud grandparents.

They are now questioning what we plan to do about our current living situation. I know it's none of their business, but it came up in convo - i was complaining about the crappy carpet and a few other maintenence issues that havent been fixed up yet. I was just annoyed because rent increases yet things dont get fixed.
We are not in a position to buy yet. We have a credit card debt and are paying a new car off. We dont have any substansial savings, dh works his **** off at a decent earning job, he was even thinking of a 2nd job, but i told him id rather go back to work than him juggle 2 jobs. He is more than happy for me to stay at hom for at least 2 yrs and raise our children and im fine with that too. So i am a SAHM studying and pregnant.

Here is the hard bit. My parents have offered to pay our house deposit. My dad explained he had to work 2 jobs to buy their house and he believes everyone should work hard for what they want. But then he said "your my family, with a family. DH doing the best he can with what he can. Forking out a **** load of his hard earned money every forghtnight to pay some prick who wont replace a piece of carpet. He said he has the money, just sitting there. We could be in our own home whenever we want.
Then my mum went on to say she knew some ppl who would have their homes if it wasnt for their parents.

i just dont know what to do. I want my family in our own home so bad. We just cant afford it and cant seem to work any harder or save any more than we are. And then we get given this offer....it just sounds so wrong. Of course we pay my dad back the deposit money. It feels like the easy way out.

what would you do?

[bubbabailey]

If I were in your situation I would take it :-) it gives you a leg up to buy your own place :-) as long as you can afford the repayments, but I would do it if it were my husband and I :-)

[NancyBlackett]

Is it just the deposit you can't afford or repayments as well? If repayments would be a stretch too then I'd perhaps as that they hang on to the money until you can afford repayments as well, or give you half to go into a high interest, non accessible savings account to which you can add.

Banks can be a little flexible with gifted deposits, but if your deposit is less than 20% and you need mortgage insurance you will a demonstrated savings history.

It's a genuinely lovely offer for them and if it will make a positive difference in your lives and won't impact negatively on theirs then you shouldn't feel bad accepting it.

My grandparents gave their kids some money when they sold their house and moved into a retirement home. They wanted to see their kids enjoying the money before they died. My parents were able to pay off their mortgage and build a carport. I know my grandparents were thrilled to have the opportunity to help out like that.

[Mrs P]

If your parents aren't the type to hold stuff over your head and bring it up at every opportunity they can then I say go for it!!!

[headoverfeet]

Will you be able to afford mortgage repayments and the other expenses that go with owning- rates, council fees..

[diesal444]

Rent money is dead money just keep telling yourself that.
Write up a contract and get your parents and you and DH to sign stating all the facts about repaying the money by a certain date etc...
This might seem silly but it will then feel more like a proper loan to you.
We were owner builders and the bank wouldn't look at us so we had to borrow money from a family member and we signed documents like this.
It's not a handout just an interest free loan if you can look at it like that.
Good luck with whatever you decide xx

[LittleDove]

Take it for sure. It's a beautiful offer made out of love for you and your family!

[MsMummy]

The only thing I'd be wary of is to make sure it's something your parents can afford without affecting their lives or retirement, and that they won't hold it over your head.

I borrowed $10,000 from my grandfather when we bought our first unit 6 years ago. It was very clearly a loan, not a gift, but it was understood to be on a longterm or flexible basis. My grandfather died last year, and my dad is his only surviving child, so my dad has inherited the right to the debt, of course. Which is fine. that was what I expected to happen. Unfortunately, my dad's financial situation is somewhat grim and he now wants that money back sooner than I expected, despite him squandering the rest of his father's money. Anyway, it has left a bad taste in my mouth, to some extent and I wish I had never borrowed it, as we could have borrowed however much we needed from the bank at the time anyway, but my dad was pushing the loan.

But, some parents can loan to their children without that expectation, so I guess you just have to assess the relationship before you take the money.