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  1. #11
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    Sounds like you've done a great job of explaining it all to her.
    I'm so sorry, I just saw that this was in the single parents section. I obviously was one once but have been with DH since DS was 1 (7 years). So it lessens the sting a lot for DS as he's pretty happy with the Dad he's got!

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    share a book  (31-05-2012)

  3. #12
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    I have sole custody/sole parental responsibility. For 9 months now. Children to see their father as agreed between both parties. Which we will never agree on as he didn't understand that he can't just disappear from their lives for a year and expect to pick up where it left off, he wouldn't agree to gradually increasing visits, didn't want to see me so I put in an application at a visitation centre where visits would be supervised, he didn't want that either and got pushy so I went to court because I wasn't going to be pushed around and let him disrupt the kids lives. Given his history with his other 2 children who his parents have custody of, abd the fact he never even showed up to court, the judge had no hesitations in giving me sole custody. I doubt ex will see the kids again because now that he can't have it his way and come and go as he pleases, I havnt heard from him again.

    Eta. Forgot to add how I feel about it and how the kids feel..
    Ds doesn't remember his father, he was too young, so at thus stage it doesn't bother him.. Dd doesn't seem to really talk about it at all, occasionally she will say things like "some people don't have a dad" when she sees other dads at kinder, but she is surrounded by a loving family and is happy. They are only 2 and 4 so the questions may come later on yet.. I'll cross that bridge when it comes to it I suppose.
    As for me, I feel relieved! I remember crying unexpectedly that day when reality hit, it was like cutting the final cord and I did grieve that I couldn't have had a civil relationship with my ex for the sake of the kids, and that the kids would never have a biological father in their lives. My life has come leaps and bounds since then though and it's good knowing I can make the right decisions for my children without someone trying to make life difficult for us all out of spite.

    Excuse the typos.. On phone and cbf fixing it
    Last edited by Sairz; 31-05-2012 at 20:06.

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    twotrunks  (02-06-2012)

  5. #13
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    I was just wondering how many are in the same situation as us because there is so much negativity about it, so many people on here mention how unfair it is to deny them a relationship, but my daughter is well balanced and has a good life.

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    Stiflers Mom  (01-06-2012)

  7. #14
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    I have sole parental responsibility and have had it since 2006, my child has no clue about the father and the father who lives in the same town couldnt care less about seeing our child. The situation is good for us right now and I have no complaints!

  8. #15
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    Yes i do. I'm happy about it and the kids are happy about it too.

  9. #16
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    Yes i do and always will have as FOB is not interested. We have come across the where is my dad a few times but it passes. When he is older i will tell him the whole story with his dad but only when i know he is strong enough to know the truth of why FOB doesnt want anything to do with him.

    Sent from my GT-I9000T using BubHub

  10. #17
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    I have 100% custody of both kids.
    However both fathers are heavily involved in their kids lives.
    I guess I just got lucky that they both signed them over to me.

  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I was just wondering how many are in the same situation as us because there is so much negativity about it, so many people on here mention how unfair it is to deny them a relationship, but my daughter is well balanced and has a good life.
    Mine are 100% in my care, but DS sees his dad once in a blue moon (fob's choice). That's the way its always been and everyone has accepted it.

    I think it could be more upsetting for a child that lives/grows up with then loses their other parent for whatever reason, I think that is more what 'they' mean?

    What must 'they' think about single people using donors? How is that different emotionally?

  12. #19
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    My ex dh hasn't seen Leon in 3 years. He moved back to Melbourne after he walked out on us. He hasn't made any attempt to see him at all as he can't afford it because of his new family, so he wants me to take Leon over there as I get enough money from the government to be able to so.

    I went over to melbourne last year for a week with my bf n he spent a grand total of 15 minutes seeing him out of a week long visit. I went to mediation to try n get visitation sorted but he never replied to there requests for contact so it's obvious he cares more bout his new kids then his old one.

    The selfish **** even refuses to help me out with Leon's school uniforms saying I get enough from the government. He begrudgingly gives him $40 for birthdays n Xmas n can't even remember his bday date.

    I wasn't good enough for him when I gained weight so he left me for a skinner girl. And with my sons global developmental delay he wouldn't cope with him.

  13. #20
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    I think it could be more upsetting for a child that lives/grows up with then loses their other parent for whatever reason, I think that is more what 'they' mean?
    I personally completely disagree with that. I had my dad in my life until i was 11 so i knew who he was and what he was like. It never fazed me when i was longer able to see him
    Friends who had grown up never knowing or so much as meeting their dad's constantly wondered who he was? what he was like? did he have another family? do i have siblings i don't know?.
    I think it would be harder being in their shoes.
    Last edited by HarvestMoon; 02-06-2012 at 14:06.


 

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