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  1. #1
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    Default Who has sole custody?

    How long has it been that way?

    How do you feel about it?

    How does your child (or children) feel about it?

  2. #2
    mystical mumma's Avatar
    mystical mumma is offline * ʇı ǝןoʇs sǝıɹıɐɟ ǝɥʇ ˙˙˙puıɯ ʎɯ ʇsoן ʇuǝʌɐɥ ı *
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    I have 100% custody of ds. His dad has visitation rights but given the distance between us, he doesn't use them.

    It has been this way for almost 8 years this year. (ds is 8 this year)

    Ds misses his dad, but I think he misses the idea of seeing him more than actually seeing him.

    We do our best to get ds to his dads as much as we can. Has already been once this year.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mystical mumma View Post
    I have 100% custody of ds. His dad has visitation rights but given the distance between us, he doesn't use them.

    It has been this way for almost 8 years this year. (ds is 8 this year)

    Ds misses his dad, but I think he misses the idea of seeing him more than actually seeing him.
    .
    This is exactly like us.
    DS flys interstate once or twice a year and always gets horribly homesick so doesn't want to go back. FOB says he's coming in a few weeks but I won't hold my breath.

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    mystical mumma's Avatar
    mystical mumma is offline * ʇı ǝןoʇs sǝıɹıɐɟ ǝɥʇ ˙˙˙puıɯ ʎɯ ʇsoן ʇuǝʌɐɥ ı *
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    Yeah FOB says how much he would love to come up and watch ds play sport etc...never comes though.

    Ds also gets homesick.
    He wants to see them, but at the end of the day he wants his mum. He always hates leaving though.

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    My dd has never spent time with her father. She turns 9 this year. She likes the idea of having a dad but at the same time would never change it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mystical mumma View Post
    Yeah FOB says how much he would love to come up and watch ds play sport etc...never comes though.

    Ds also gets homesick.
    He wants to see them, but at the end of the day he wants his mum. He always hates leaving though.
    Oh wow. Sounds SO similar!
    Still waiting for the web cam he promised to get him in 2008.

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    My dd has never spent time with her father. She turns 9 this year. She likes the idea of having a dad but at the same time would never change it.
    Does she deal with OK?

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    My 3yo DD has never met her dad and never will (if i have my way!!!) I don't think he is a fit person for her to be around due to things he has done in the last twelve mths - example he assaulted his girlfriend hoping that she would miscarry their baby. Is currently going through supreme court and he wonders why people think badly of him. DD half sister has since been born healthy no thanks to him.

    DD realizes she doesn't have a dad but at the moment doesn't miss having him around. This may change and I still worry about what I'm going to tell her in the future

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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    Does she deal with OK?
    Every so often she goes through the whole "I want a dad" phase, but she doesn't really, it just gets pushed as the ideal. But then like I said, she would never want to change how things are.

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    I've never told her why she has no dad, just that all families are different and even though it takes 1 man and 1 woman to make a baby, that man or woman, or both, sometimes don't go on to become the parents. Sometimes only 1 of them will become the parent, sometimes the mum and another woman become the parents, sometimes the dad and another man become the parents, sometimes a different man, woman or couple become the parents. I think she has an ok understanding of different families, and I do worry about future implications (the same way same sex couples, adoptive parents, foster parents or kinship carers do) but all we can do is work with what we have. Her father is not fit to be around any human or animal, so not a fit parent, nothing I do can change that, so I highlight the positives of what we have.


 

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