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  1. #1
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    Default 4 year old behaviour

    Hi

    My son is 4 and started Kindergarten this year. Before this he was never in any form of care. His teacher has expressed concern over the fact that he generally prefers to play on his own and does not play/interact with other children while he is there. He would rather be talking to the teachers or playing on his own. Is this normal behaviour? Should I be concerned? Feeling a little lost at the moment and google is not helping.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
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    At 4 solitary play can be a red flag for conditions such as ASD. But if he hasn't had a lot of interaction with other kids up until now, he could just need more time to learn some social skills

    In the absence of any other signs of ASD or developmental delay I would just give him more time to settle in and get used to the social rules of kindergarten and try and encourage playdates and regular social interactions.

    If there are other factors at play, then it might be worthwhile seeing a paediatrician

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    Has your son had a lot of contact with other children? He may just be a bit slower to interact socially if he hasn't, it may take a little while longer for him to warm to kinder?

    Also like PP mentioned, if you've ruled out other reasons behind it, i'd give him time and lots of encouragement to make some friends.

    DS1 started kinder this year too, and his teacher also mentioned that he wasn't being particularly social with the other children (this was in the first 5 weeks!!). He's since made a very special 'best friend' and a few other friends. We helped him along by asking him lots of questions about kinder, going to kinder with him for part or all of the session to help him feel more comfortable, and in general been very encouraging about him finding his way at kinder. He's so happy at kinder now, and really looks forward to seeing his buddies there. The teacher has also noticed the change in him now too, which is really encouraging.

    It's so hard when you're worried, but hang in there

  4. #4
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    Thank you for your reply. I'm not aware of any other problems but I may have to speak to his teachers again. He has not had a lot of interaction with other children unfortunately so being in a large group of kids is something very new to him.

    He plays fine with friends/family and is loud, outgoing and never stops talking and has the best imagination. He is generally however shy amongst people he doesn't know until he gets to know them better. It's a little bit hard for me to know exactl what he is like when I am not there.

  5. #5
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    Thank you Livvey. No, he hasn't had a lot of interaction with other children at all which I am now feeling really guilty about. He talks about the other children so I just kind of assumed he was doing well. He is one of the older children too so I'm not sure if that comes into it at all.


    Should I add - He LOVES Kindy. Settled in fantastically. Counts down the days until he next goes again and always tells me what a great time he has there.

    What kind of things are we talking about in regards to ASD? I have no idea about that.

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    Dear expression, this sounds perfectly normal to me I reckon you ought to give him time to interact with other kids- it will come. Perhaps he could have a play date on a Friday afternoon with a mate from school if you can get to know some of the parents? My DS1 has started school kindy this year and we have set up a regular Friday afternoon play session from 3.15 to 4pm- which for boys, means a couple of biscuits for afternoon tea and then lot of running and kicking balls in the backyard. Also, I have been told by people who have much more experience in these matters, that girls can tend to form peer groups right away at school, and boys, bless them, are generally happy in their own company or playing with a ball, as well as playing in groups. Easily pleased! Sounds like your boy is doing just fine

  7. #7
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    From what you've described it just sounds like he's taking a bit of time getting used to group situations.... It's great that he's settled in so well:

    As for ASD you'd be looking for characteristics like the ones listed here http://www.autismvictoria.org.au/dia..._checklist.php

    I'd just encourage group playdates where you can encourage him and be there to support him, talk about his friends at kindy and the fun ways he can play with them, lots of trips to the park etc to get him used to interacting with unfamiliar kids


 

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