Something has been bothering me for a while now and I just want to put it out there and see if anyone else has had the same experience.
I'm pregnant (finally!) with my second child and it has really made me think about how my parents raised me and the more I think, the more I'm disapointed.
I always thought I'd had a pretty good childhood, I mean I turned out okay at the end of it all but there are just some things that are getting to me. I get along alright with my parents but although they only live an hour and a half away they only get off their butts to visit me 1-2 times a year. Seriously, its like my son doesnt even have grandparents!
So here are a few things that's getting to me.... My mother was lazy in the house, so lazy in fact it was filthy, full of hoarded junk etc etc. I didnt even have a bedroom - just a room full of junk. I was never aloud friends over (obviously), never aloud to stay at friends houses, never aloud on school camps. I could disapear for an entire day at age 7-8 and she didnt care.... as long as I wasnt at anyones house, the same with my brother only he was younger. Forced to sit outside of the pub/tab for hours each day when not at school. The list goes on....
I dont know what it is... maybe the pregnancy hormones but its really starting to upset me lately, what a crap mother she was.... what tipped it all off was when she wanted to be paid to look after my dog
I guess I just need to vent to someone and I wonder... What makes someone be like her? Mental illness? Not bonding to the child?? Why would she had been like that?