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  1. #1
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Default Should i be reacting differently?

    today i found out that my grandmother's partner of 17 years passed away. He was 79.

    My mum is really upset, and my sister cant stop crying.

    I feel bad that he died. But mainly ive just spent the day remembering all the funny stuff he used to unintentionally do. Like he could never ever remember my name, he always called me sheryl. (lol my name is nothing even remotely close to that name) or when he would tell us he had this great magic coin trick to show us, but got confused and couldnt remember and ended up just doing something that resembled half of the macarena dance moves. Lol or when he would fall asleep *anywhere* and end up snoring SO loud he would scare himself and wake up. Lol he was pretty funny without even meaning to be...

    They lived like 6 hours away so i havent seen them in a long time, probably 2-3 times in 10 years. Prior to that they would come down and visit for a week or more at a time a few times a year when i was much younger and living at home...

    Should i be feeling how my mum and sister feel?

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    How you are feeling is perfectly acceptable. People grieve differently. Your family might be taking on the sadness of your grandmother too (if they live closer).

    He sounded like a gorgeous, loving, silly man. He obviously brought light to all your lives.

    I am sorry for your loss.

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    You should react exactly how you feel. Everyone deals with death and grief differently. I'm sorry for your family's loss xxx

  4. #4
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Thank you.

    I can definitely understand them taking on my grandmothers sadness.

    I just feel more calm and grateful i have these great memories of him more than anything. It helps as well that he went very peacefully.

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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    There is no right or wrong way to feel when someone passes. I think remembering the good times is a wonderful way to keep their spirit alive. He sounds like a really wonderful funny man, RIP.

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    How wonderful for you that you have these memories to treasure! Everyone has a different process with grief and any way you deal with it is right for you.

  7. #7
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Thank you everyone

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    I think your grieving in your own way.
    i think its really sweet that you remember all the positives/funny things about him.
    condolences to you and your family

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    Zombie_eyes  (30-05-2012)

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    I think your reaction is perfectly normal hun, I used to wonder the same thing myself when my cousin passed away, but I seem to have a different view on death then others and grieve pretty similar to you.
    I was just speaking to my mum about this the other day as it is reaching the 4th anniversary of my cousins passing and with state of origin going on(last photos we have with her are from State of Origin 4yrs ago) everyone has started to become emotional, I never quite understand it and will often feel guilty because i'm not getting upset over her passing and not being with us, but I still "feel" her and seek comfort in that and all the precious memories I have of her.


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    I don't think there is a right or wrong way to deal with things like that. I have lost family members and we all have reacted differently.

    I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like he was a fun person


 

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