So I just need to get this out.
The past month has been so hard with alot happening in my private life that has left me well, shattered.
I was coping with everything ok until yesterday while I was doing the dishes I just broke down. I became numb and I cried for what felt like forever. Followed by an anxiety attack. I have been losing so much sleep and waking up in random panics.
Having suffered PND after DD1 it took me a long time to finally feel happy and be able to bond with DD1 and feel recovered and no long have the need for meds. I was going GREAT!
Anyway, after how ever long it took me to become a rational person again yesterday I spent the rest of the evening crying on and off over little non-important things such as past issues of guilt about DD1 etc.
Today I took DD1 and DD2 to kindergym and DD1 was acting up. I was getting some terrible looks from other parents. Like real why arent you shutting your child up kind of looks. Some nice glares. One parent even made a nasty comment. So I spent the whole time there with tears in my eyes trying not to cry again infront of all these people.
I just feel as though I have fallen apart, I have been broken. And as far as being able to cope I cant and DP is just laughing it all off as though it doesnt matter.
So I had made a dr appointment and according to my gp I have "relapsed" as my he put it. Depression and anxiety is now my new enemy and I have to battle with again. Its never ending.