I have loads of friends (and family) with very very different parenting philosophies to mine.....
The beauty of having excellent friends in my opinion is that you can recognise each others differences, talk openly about them and decide together a new way forward,
For example I have a friend that is very very extremely overprotective of her DD, and I am actually the opposite. We have spoken about our difference and come up with a 'plan' for how we will handle parenting situations when we are together...... We continually chat about, and consult each other during visits.
In fact most of my good girlfriends are the same.....
I occasionally smack, some of my friends smack more, some never do - the trick is recognise the boundaries (eg. Don't suggest tips to friends that you know conflict with their style!)....
I would only walk away from a friendship if my friend didn't give me the same courtesy that I was giving her, and if attempts to communicate and compromise had failed. Having said that I wouldn't write them off forever..... I have friends that I've lost contact with for various reasons who have come back into my life later on when we'd moved on to a different stage of life
My BFF has a more laid back parenting style than me (kids stay up to all hours). I bite my tongue and would only mention something if I thought her kids were at risk or if my boy/family was negatively affected.
She's a really good friend so I'll cut her a little slack on the differences...
In general I don't bother saying anything, if it's at my house I was we don't hit in this house or we pack up before we go outside here or whatever is relevant
Last edited by JaneDoe; 30-05-2012 at 23:03.
I have contemplated saying something so many times, but it's not really my place. When she has told me problems she is having, I have given her advice, and that's all I can do.
And I do say something to her child when he hurts mine, but I shouldn't have to, she should!
Last edited by BigRedV; 31-05-2012 at 05:59.
LOL I have a friend like you - I can see her bite her lip when DD is out with us late at night or I've mentioned that she is fighting sleep etc.
I try to organize catch ups when it suits her (very rarely suits us but luckily DD is very easygoing and copes well if she is in a new situation) every couple of weeks.
She also knows that I sometimes bite my tongue when she leaves early cos its her kids nap time.
but i love her lots and will do almost anything for her
It's none of my business how my friends parent their children. Who am I to say my parenting methods are right and hers are wrong? We're all different and it doesn't impact our friendships at all, I really have never come across it or had those thoughts to end a friendship.
I don't really do "mummy friends," and if I do, I only see them because our kids are friends, or I see them without their kids mostly, so it's not really an issue.
I find it hard to deal with people who do things I find are not good choice (not just differences of opinion... but I'm not going to warm to you if you're complaining you can't afford your kid's lunches for school and they're wearing thongs in Winter cos you can't afford proper shoes... all while you're smoking and drinking and organising a party at your place...).
I have friends (and family) who parent much differently to me. I'm fine with it. I figure they probably cook and clean and sing differently to me as well, and like others have said, as long as it's not affecting me I just mind my own business.
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