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  1. #11
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    Let me add, I understand kids are kids and it's natural that toys will be broken - just p!ssed she hid it rather than saying something.

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    Annoying .... My mg was at a local playground two of the boys got in a spat, we're hitting each other and both ende up In tears ... Mum1 didn't see the altercation but only saw her son hit the other child he got in so much trouble - timed out on a separate chair. Mum2 saw most of the altercation and knew her son had hit the other boy he got ... A hug!!!!! Groan!

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  4. #13
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    My friends only have babies as opposed to children and mine is not even quite born yet! But one of my closest friends subscribes to Tizzy Hall sleep methods whereas I am more a Pinky McKay kind of girl. I just say nothing and hope that they do the same when my time comes, as all of my explanations for why I will not follow Tizzy Hall would likely upset/offend them which is not what I want at all. So if it does come up I will try and just say something along the lines of it is what feels right for us, etc. They adore their baby so no worries there - just a different style.

  5. #14
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    My best friend and I do a lot differently but we each respect each others parenting styles a lot, so there is no problem there. Even friends from school/dancing parent quite differently but still all get on. The thing I would find difficult is being around people who talk really badly about their kids all the time/swearing at them/screaming/hitting. That is more of the "moral" issue for me.

  6. #15
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    How my friends parent is none of my business.

    My close friends are close enough that we csn have feank discussions about parenting, but we are also respectful, dont judge each other, and are happy to 'agree to disagree.' as for not so close friends, i only see small snippits of their family life, who am i to judge based on that??

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  8. #16
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    Friends of friends are parenting in a way that I find difficult to understand whenever we are together. They don't use negative language when disciplining their children and insist on everyone else do the same with their boys. At 10 and 7 these two children don't hear "don't, can't, not, no, stop, should not" etc. They are free spirits apparently and will work it out in their own time. They are now home schooled as their primary school was unsupportive of the parents methods. They are the most unruly and dangerous boys to be around, and have tempers that are shocking. I have declined invitations when I know the family will be at the same place. The parents must know that they are also being excluded from social occasions because of their take on child rearing. It doesn't affect me personally but I feel sad for the two boys living a limitless and boundary free childhood.

  9. #17
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    Its an interesting question. I agree with PP - if a friend was parenting in a way that was obviously endangering their child and mine - then yes I would have a problem with the friendship. I would not socializing with the friends with my child/ren around. If they were dear friends - then I would say something (who knows they could be actually needing help/support)

    If the friends were parenting in a style that is opposite to mine - as a PP brought up Pinky vs Tizzy - then its their choice and I'll just shut up. But if their choice ie Tizzy's strict schedule - was to the detriment of my kid then its different. This happened in mothers group. One lady followed Tizzy to the T! Consequently we had to only meet when it suited her kid's schedule. But this did not suit the majority of us so we either met at her time or she just didnt turn up. Now the rest of us were happy to alternate times (as in one week suits her, one week suits us) but she was adamant that her kid wasnt going to miss out on his naps at all - but yet it was ok with her for our kids to not have their full nap. So her choice was to stop coming to mothers group till her kid had the same nap times as the rest of ours.

    If friends were parenting in a manner that was illegal/child endangerment - then I would have no issues contacting authorities.

  10. #18
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    My gripe with friends and the different ways of parenting is eg. say there is 2 kids throwing sand they ignore what their child is doing wrong and always give their instruction to the other persons child. Or their child won't share and they ignore the situation but then when their child wants something from another they are all for sharing! Lol. They also seem to watch intently other parents tell their child off and seem smug that they are so lucky their child is perfect. I actually don't think they realize but they look at their child with rose coloured glasses and think they are being angelic.

  11. #19
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by trishalishous View Post
    it depends if it impacts on my child. seeing yelling and hitting would upset her, so i would avoid people who did those things
    I agree with this actually. My good friend is a 'smacker' but has never done so in front of us. If she did, we probably wouldn't see them anymore. I don't want my kids witnessing that sort of violence.

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  13. #20
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    I caught up with a friend who has a son a little older than dd. he would have been 1 at the time. Anyway, I made a joke about smacking and she very seriously said yes, sometimes you have to smack them. I was totally gobsmacked and changed the subject. Another time I was at her house and her ds was touching something and she threatened him with a smack. She is a really decent person, as is her dp. I understand someone using smacking as punishment (not my cup of tea) but a one year old has no capacity to understand it.

    I just bit my tongue.


 

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