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  1. #81
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    Isn't it funny how things come around in circles.

    In the 70s it wasn't at all un-common to be a young parent(s), my parents were married and had their first child at 19 and 20 respectively. When Mum did the pre school and school runs, she was the 'norm', it was the 'older' (as in over 25) Mums that weren't the norm. When I was in high school it was odd for me to see friends parents who were in their 50s and 60s, (like most these days).

    I was travelling overseas when my Mum had her 40th birthday and sent her a telegram to wish her well. I will be 40 in a few years and my kids will be all under 8 by then. So it's funny that what was once 'normal' and not as open to judgement as it is now, is now a bone of contention for some people and it shouldnt be.

    If people are going to judge, they should judge the 'behaviour' not the 'person' or the 'age', it's definitely an individual thing, some people are awesome as parents, others not, that goes for any age.

    As what is considered an 'older Mum' (I'm in my late 30s), I can honestly say that I have never looked down upon nor even considered looking down upoon or making judgements on younger parents, it's just never occurred to me, as I just don't see the 'age' thing, I am more likely to see the behaviour and in any case its not my place to say anyway. I had awesome young parents and loved growing up with them and am always grateful they sacrificed their younger years to raising us kids.

  2. #82
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    I think I'm in for an interesting experience...

    I'm 22 and my fiance is 25; our first will be born in 4 months, just before my 23rd birthday. I look quite young for my age, but so far haven't received any negative (or even surprised) comments regarding my age.

    I've been a high school teacher for the past 18 months (which required 4 years of uni), and my partner runs his own business - has done since he finished high school. We've been together 8 years, own our own home, travel and are very happy with our lives.

    We could certainly do with some more financial stability, and there's plenty we'd like the freedom to do without kids at this point. However, for US the benefits of having children young outweigh the costs. We don't want to wait until our life is "perfect", or we've achieved all our other goals. We'll continue to build and to live our lives with our child.

    It'll be fascinating to see whether others - not knowing any of this - choose to judge us simply on age.

    I'd also just like to say that my parents were older parents. They were in their early 40s when I was born, and my sister's only 2 years older. I was a bit embarrassed by their age when I was a kid, but they did a fantastic job. Nobody has the right to judge them for their choices either. It certainly worked for them.

  3. #83
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    I don't understand judgement on either end of the scale. What people do with their lives is up to the individual. I'm 26 with 4 children. I had a lady serve me at Coles when I was shopping with the older 3 and heavily pregnant telling me how smart and lucky I was for being able to have children and she wishes she started younger because at 52 had 4yr old twins via IVF and regrets waiting so long and not being able to truly enjoy her boys. I bet plenty of people would've judged her too. Just ignore it op.

  4. #84
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    I was 21 when I had my son, I dont feel like I copped much judgement while pregnant or while he was young. Different story now though.
    I now 23, my boy is 19 months. I'm 3 weeks off having my second. The looks I get now are horrible, especially if my son decides to chuck a wobbly while we're out. What a horrible young mum I must be.
    I try to ignore people the best I can. I know i'm a good mum. I've made sacrifices and didnt achieve everything I thought I wanted before having babies. I think as young mum we just need to be confident that we made the best decision for us and hopefully with that confidence, we wont be inclined to notice the judgement.

    Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub

  5. #85
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    They'll stop when you no longer require their approval.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Deserama For This Useful Post:

    Bennos Mummy  (31-05-2012)

  7. #86
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    I think that sometimes people assume young mums accidently fell pregnant and that young mums aren't financially secure. Technically young mums live in a cardboard box. The questions I've been asked have been ridiculous.

  8. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sariele View Post
    *puts hand up* I confess that I am sometimes judgemental of young mums. Mainly teenage mums, if they actually made a decision to get pg when they are that young. I think it's so important after you finish school to at least take a couple of years to live a little and find out who you are and what you want from life, so when I see/hear about teen mums I feel very sad for them that they won't get to experience this. And the ones who actually decided to get pg, I personally think they're stupid.. Flame me all you want for this, it won't change my opinion.

    As for mums in their early-to-mid 20s, I often think judgemental things, but I wholly admit that this is 100% because I am jealous, and badly wanted to have children when I was that age (around 24/25 would have been awesome). I've been on-and-off insanely clucky from the age of 18, and here I am at 31 and still childless, and now having to do ICSI because two years ago I fell in love with an infertile man. It's not fair, and I reserve the right to feel bitter and think nasty things when I see young mums. It doesn't mean I dislike you or think you know nothing, it is my emotions getting the better of me.

    If you're being judged by mothers older than you, a lot of them are probably just jealous like me.
    How brave of you to admit this. I hope you and your DH are blessed soon

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    Sariele  (31-05-2012)

  10. #88
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    Replying to the first page :-) (hehe lots of post :-) ) i dont dress young i dont think jeans and a tee and cardi are gonna make me look young, i dont get asked for i.d ever! So i must look atleast 26 lol and i think it is judging when people are walking past at woolies saying comments like "children having children" i just wanted to see if others were experiancing this or have also.

  11. #89
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    Replying to second page, i had a very good career before i had children i completed my VCE And i have a certificate in beauty therapy, i was running a beauty salon at the age of 18! I was earning great money, im not insercure i just think its bull****! That people think its ok to judge others for anything! Its not just older mums i had a young girl looked about 15 16 say in a smart *** comment shouldnt your mum be looking after your brother & sister. I see people judging and looking doen at other young mums too, not just me. It shouldnt matter how much money you earn, if u own ur own car or have bought a house. Dont judge.

  12. #90
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    By the way mabelline me and my partner have been together for 6 years not a year, i have a career under my belt to go back too.


 

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