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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    Uh I had my first daughter less then a year after I finished high school. I had been with my now DH for 12 months when we found out I was pregnant. I worked in retail. We have now been together for 6 years, married for 6 months and are expecting our third daughter. Its attitudes like that that make my skin crawl. As parents it doesn't matter how young or old we all go through the same emotions, the same challenges and triumphs as parents. Why can't we forget age and just focus on supporting each other?!

    And if my daughter came to me at 16 or 17 or even 37 I would support her in whatever decision she made. Because I know that just because she might be pregnant at 16 doesn't mean the end of the world or that she will never amount to anything. She can still finish school, still go to uni (if that's the path she wants to take), still travel and experience life.
    for me just fin high school ..dating a guy for a year then having a baby ..well not really a great thing for me..for you maybe it is..

    this does not mean at all your are not a great mum..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Trooper View Post
    Wow what a gross generalisation. I was barely a year out of school when i had DD... I have put myself through 7 years of uni, have never not worked (from the age of 13!!), and bought my first house at 21.

    My best friend who had her first baby just before we did our hsc has a now 7yo and 4yo, also done 6 years of uni and is now a doctor in a large hospital, and has just married her partner of 11 years.

    Shall we start making gross generalisations about older mums now?
    *shakes head*

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    Well done that is great!!

    I am not sure what a older mum is classed as..I had my girl at 28...I had done all I wanted to and was ready for a baby..for me that is how I wanted it...

  3. #43
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToughLove View Post
    The only way you can avoid 'young parent' judgement is by not becoming a young parent.

    There's valid reasons why young parents are looked down on, and it's just a fact of life that won't easily slide from society.
    Whoa.. what a stereotypical thing to say.
    You have no clue, no RIGHT to make that assumption.
    I'm still with the father of my son and have been since 15. My son is in an advanced class for gifted children. I had him at 17, where's the "valid" reason for me being looked down on?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybelline View Post
    just finishing high school (hopefully) then having a child..is really not a good thing..most likely they have not worked (a proper job)..have no
    money..not set up with a house..steady relationship..maturity..understanding of life..emotions..brain fully developed..

    and yes not all 35 year olds have achieved this
    Really? ..... argh its people with these attitudes that frustrate me..I've just turned 22 and am expecting my 3rd next month, ill have three under 3, my partner and I have Been together 4 years, I didn't finish high school but before having children I worked as a medical receptionist since I left school, while im at home I will be doing study so once my little ones are off to school I can start my own buisness. I have to say though apart from the Judgmental comment above, I've never personally felt judged for being a young mum.

    Excuse the typos, I'm on my phone

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybelline View Post
    Well done that is great!!

    I am not sure what a older mum is classed as..I had my girl at 28...I had done all I wanted to and was ready for a baby..for me that is how I wanted it...
    That is great that that is what you wanted for YOU.. Does that mean that others who choose to do something different are fair game to be the subject of stereotypes and judgement?

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    My friend was asking me the same thing the other day she's 25 and is pregnant with her third. When her doctor asked if it was her first pregnancy she said no my third, then said she had a 7 and 5 yr old. Doctor replies with " Mmmm well maybe you should think about some form of contraception because this is your third pregnancy in 7 yrs and you need some 'me' time" my mate was so wild she got judged for having her first two young and now is married and 25 and still getting judged. I'm only 23 and I probably get judged but I just don't take notice, I'm a good mum and my daughter always comes first so really it's none of anyone's business.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Trooper View Post
    Wow what a gross generalisation. I was barely a year out of school when i had DD... I have put myself through 7 years of uni, have never not worked (from the age of 13!!), and bought my first house at 21.

    My best friend who had her first baby just before we did our hsc has a now 7yo and 4yo, also done 6 years of uni and is now a doctor in a large hospital, and has just married her partner of 11 years.

    Shall we start making gross generalisations about older mums now?
    *shakes head*

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub
    *stands up and applauds*

    At the other end of the scale, is my MIL. Is in her mid 40's and has has her 3 younger children in and out of foster care their entire lives. Never worked, lived in tents and caravans etc more then she has lived in houses/units, been to prison. My husband was sole guardian of his siblings by the time he was 18. We have been guardians of them since I was 20 (i am now almost 24) and he is 27. The time that the kids have been in the care of MIL they have been neglected, allowed to roam the streets at all hours, don't go to school and have been exposed to more things than majority of us will experience in an entire life time.

    On the other hand, I know a girl who had her baby at 13. Yes, 13. She still finished school, and is currently at uni. She has had little help from her parents, not because they don't want to but because she wants to do it
    On her own. She knows how way it would have been for her to leave school, and do nothing (education wise) with her life, living off centrelink payments etc. but she wanted better for her and her child. She wanted to set an example for her child. And i tell you what, not only has she set an example for her child, se has set an example for many other young mums as well!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybelline View Post
    for me just fin high school ..dating a guy for a year then having a baby ..well not really a great thing for me..for you maybe it is..

    this does not mean at all your are not a great mum..
    Stable relationship. Loving home. Don't see an issue? Would be no different to if I was 30, dated a guy for a year and we fell pregnant. The only thig different would be I wasn't straight out of high school. But then I had already raised my sister while still completing high school.

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    I can see this topic is very touchy..and my point will never be understood..will back away..

  12. #50
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    There are loads of stereotypes out there, doesn't make any of them true. There's a lot to be said about 'young' Mums, 'old' Mums and Mums in between and even the definitions of what young and old Mums are!

    I'd ignore them OP, people judge what don't know or experience. Easier said than done I understand, please try to ignore it though!


 

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