I don't notice it until I'm out with friends and they comment on how many people are staring.
My favourite was the looks I'd get from parents waiting to be picked up from school with my big belly.
I don't get it when people say every 16 year old is pregnant these days when at 18, I have no friends with babies and still get the stares and comments
For me it was 23. I dunno what happened but at 23 people stopped asking if my boyfriend was still with me or if jasper was planned or saying "wow! No way could I have been responsible enough at 21/22 to have a baby!"
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from everything I have read here....
just remember that comments don't always equal judgement!!!
Some times, it is observation or curiosity or making conversation and there is no need to get your hackles up.
I've said 'wow, you look so young" to people...and often it is a reflection of my own feelings of myself and how I would not have been ready for kids young.
I have judged other parents...but it is on WHAT they are doing at the time...not age!
It also comes down to attitude...I don't care if people judge me (although I was 29 when i had my first and that seems to be acceptable lol) and never have. I wouldn't notice nasty looks! I regularly get accused of living in my own little world lol
SOmeone asked if we would want our kids to have kids at 18...and for me...it's a definite "NO". I want them to go to uni, have their own lives, travel and be independent...before taking on the joy of children. Would i support them if they end up young parents? yes, i would!
My advice...stop caring what others think and wanting people to approve of your life....that way they have no more power over you and everyone is happy.
I had DS just over a month before I turned 20 and I will be having our second a month after I turn 23. I look young but I act old. No one has ever looked at me funny or said anything other than questions which are natural and I'm not offended by curiosity
I would like to add, if you are a young mum, you can also be a young grandma, and the comments/ judgements still come. I had my first at 22, and at that time I was an 'older mum'. society is always judgeing. it is what we humans like to do. Marie.
I had my eldest when I was just 18 (I'm 37 now) and to be honest I can't remember if anyone judged me or not. In saying that, my 2nd child was 16 when her little sister was born ( my youngest) she liked to push the pram when we went places and it would make me so angry the looks she got from people especially if I was a few steps behind
It will never end.
I am almost 28 now I had my first when I was 20, I look 22 . I have a 8 month old so people assume all the time that he is my first but when I say oh noooo no I have a 7 year old I do get funny looks because I look young. And to be honest I kinda like it, these people who judge because some one 'looks' young isn't always that young. They know nothing about me or my family so I take it in my stride!
I felt extremely judged when I had my first baby at 25. I even had complete strangers comment, shaking their heads that I was too young, which was bizarre considering they didn't know anything about me.
I'm almost 30 now and have since had another baby and I still get comments now such as 'oh you look wayyy too young to have kids!', to which I now respond, 'I look good for my age.' It seems to be the perfect response as they then don't know how to respond as I can see them mentally guessing my age so I just smile, walk away and get on with enjoying my beautiful children .
To be honest I think there are certain people that are always going to judge others for a number of reasons and more often than not, this just reflects their own damning insecurities. Be confident within yourself and your abilities and try to remember that you can't change other people's behaviour, but you can change the way you react to them .
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