+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    286
    Thanks
    63
    Thanked
    81
    Reviews
    0

    Default What's your sharing etiquette?

    It's so confusing. We adults don't really share with strangers so I always find it awkward telling DS1 to share his toys with kids he doesn't know at the park etc, so I never do.

    If we have friends over with kids, I ask him to share his toys with them, but if he's playing with one and a guest is trying to take it I tell the kid that after DS will finish he can have a turn but please don't snatch.

    At the park etc if a kid tries to play with his toys I won't ask him to share, if he's happy to share great. If he tries to play with other kids' toys I explain to him that it's their toys and not ours so he can't play with them (he always tries to ride other kids' bikes).

    At playgroup I stopped bringing his toys that he sometimes wants to bring because he doesn't always want to share and it seems to annoy other mums when he doesn't. I've got no qualms with other kids' bringing a special toy and not wanting to share, I think we can explain that there's playgroup toys that are for sharing and kids' special toys that they brought with them.

    When do you get your kids to share and when do you not?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Wollondilly Shire
    Posts
    295
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked
    116
    Reviews
    0
    I'm exactly the same as you!

    DD has to share her things with children who are guests in our house (as I would expect she would be shared with in their house), and we work on a first in first served basis - ie if she has something, others have to wait till their turn. And if they have something she has to wait.

    At the park I don't expect her to share with strangers, although if she chooses to she is always praised for her "good sharing".

    She has to wait her turn on the playground equipment and with the toys at playgroup.

  3. #3
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
    Winner 2012 - Biggest Computer Nerd
    Winner 2013/14 - Funniest Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9,354
    Thanks
    2,835
    Thanked
    9,033
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    This is a tough one, i have some pretty harsh views... I hate when kids take my childs posession off them and my child is told to share. Imo he doesnt hafto share, its his! Pick something else that he isnt playing with.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Wollondilly Shire
    Posts
    295
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked
    116
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondEyes View Post
    This is a tough one, i have some pretty harsh views... I hate when kids take my childs posession off them and my child is told to share. Imo he doesnt hafto share, its his! Pick something else that he isnt playing with.

    Lol! This gets my back up too. I must admit I hover a little if I can see a child eyeing off whatever DD is playing with. I'm ready to pounce if they take it off her, and tell them to wait till she's finished.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to eviezmum For This Useful Post:

    Zombie_eyes  (30-05-2012)

  6. #5
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    5,630
    Thanks
    4,446
    Thanked
    3,495
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I'm a bit funny about it too. It's nice to share but I think forcing a child to share doesn't really serve a purpose, as they aren't doing it willingly?

    My DS loves his trains to bits and doesn't like sharing them - fair enough, they are his favourite possessions. I have items which I would hate to share with other people; they are special to me. I have friends who get funny about him not sharing them, but it doesn't bother me.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,700
    Thanks
    358
    Thanked
    503
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Anything I know Ds wont share without a fight does not leave my house.

    At playgroup etc I believe in encouraging turn taking of things such as swings / the roller coaster and to bad for things such as bikes etc.

    It annoys me when 1 child is allowed to hog the swing or rollercoaster the entire 2 hours we are there

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

  8. #7
    jbish's Avatar
    jbish is offline “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr Seuss
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    654
    Thanks
    171
    Thanked
    128
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We're starting to cross the sharing bridge now. It's great to hear what you ladies do! I must admit it get's my back up when a kid snatches toy's off my dd and I always feel a little embarrased when DD does the same. I guess we basically do the same as you OP. My DD can be a little snatchy at the moment so we're trying to teach her that she must ask first and if the other child doesn't want to share she has to wait until they are finished. If they still don't want to share, too bad, find something else to play with... She's also very into her personal space at the moment and tends to lash out if a child tries to hug her or touch her but that's a whole other thread

  9. #8
    futureherder is offline Child led parent here...save me :)
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,487
    Thanks
    37
    Thanked
    34
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I always tell DD not to play with other kids toys unless offered. If another kids wants to play with her toys in a nice way ie asking her or she has lost interest I let them play with it. If it came down to a scuffle DD would win out, I would calmly say to DD 'you know it is nice to share but if you would prefer to play with it alone then that is okay' and I would say to the other child 'sorry DD did not share but it is her special toy and she want to play with it by herself.

    I would never get annoyed at another mother for not handing over her kids toy to my DD but I would be appreciative if they did

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
    Posts
    8,990
    Thanks
    3,308
    Thanked
    1,659
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    communal toys are fair game.
    if its dds possession i will say 'x likes your truck, can x have a look at it?' sometimes she will share, others she wont.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    286
    Thanks
    63
    Thanked
    81
    Reviews
    0
    Yeah, I find kids get such mixed messages! First we as adults don't really share our things but many encourage or force their kids to share.

    Then on top of that many (e.g. my niece) get told not to snatch other kids' toys because it's theirs, and then when kids snatch from them they get told to share...

    I always get looks when I ask other kids not to snatch if their parents don't tell them themselves. I'm sorry, snatching is not sharing.
    Last edited by jake's mum; 30-05-2012 at 15:37.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Bad etiquette?
    By MrsOhara in forum Weddings
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 11-09-2012, 14:50
  2. Is this the correct etiquette?
    By funnymama in forum General Chat
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-01-2012, 00:54

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Mother and Baby Shop
Save $$$ during our Christmas Sale Mother and Baby Shop
Great prices on Schoenhut kids pianos, toys, baby clothing as well as big brands like Pigeon, NUK, Cherub Baby and many more. Sale starts on 1 November 2016 and ends on the 27 December 2016. Hurry! Place your order today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Life Fertility
Life Fertility Clinic is a boutique fertility clinic located in Spring Hill, Brisbane. Our dedicated fertility and IVF specialists offer professional, holistic, personalised options for the treatment of each patient’s specific needs.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!