Recently I've been evaluating my life - midlife crisis lol, and it goes a little bit like this:
I didn't imagine I'd end up like this. I've never really had a long-term plan but I used to manage to meet my short-term goals. Recently, due to certain life choices (moving states, marriage and divorce blech) I ended up giving up an excellent job opportunity and losing half my worldly wealth to the dodgy so-and-so, so I'm now struggling financially earning a pittance when I could have been comfortable and on an excellent wage and moving towards an overall better quality of life.
All I ever wanted in life was to be a mother and partner at home looking after my kids and fella. Side note, why is it that aspiring to be a wife/mother is frowned on by so many? To me, bliss would be watching and helping my children grow, using my domestic engineering skills to the full looking after kids and imaginary fella, and all the while sharing my life with someone who I share mutual love, respect and care for.
Said partner is a good provider - I'm not saying we're millionaires just not watching the bottle of milk diminishing and wondering if it will make it to payday.
For sure I tick some of the boxes but sometimes I wish there was someone there to share not just my woes with but the good times, to love my kids the way I do, to share the load and to make fun with. I get to watch my kids turning into amazing wonderful people, I have a great home and part of the time I get to hone my trolleyographic skills but I also have lots of sleeplessness worrying about how I'm going to make my bills, lonely evenings where I can't find something to entertain myself with and times where I wish I could share it all.