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  1. #1
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    Default Advice from FIFO mums who started this with a toddler

    I can see that this thread has been done to death but I want to ask some questions that I cant see have been answered.

    So first a little background, DS is 27months, he is a bit of a handful sometimes. Right now me and DF both work fulltime. We want to buy a house. DF's job is fulltime but it is actually casual, he brings in ok money. As for me, I am 20 so I only get 85% of an adults wage and I work for a not-for-profit, so I am paid a base level (basically what hey legally have to and that is it). We are not getting anywhere finacially and sometimes still live week to week. this is the reasoning to DF sourcing a FIFO job.

    I would quit my fulltime job and hopefully find a 2-3 day a week job that wasnt as demanding as my current job.


    We just need a house deposit - which hopefully wont take longer than a year if he gets a good job.

    So here are my q's -


    Did your toodler change when your partner started FIFO? How?

    Was your toddler excited when your partner returned home each time?

    How did you handle your partner being away?

    What timetable worked best? DF may possible be doing 3on 1 off.

    The thing I am most scared of is how it will effect DS.

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
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    I can see that this thread has been done to death but I want to ask some questions that I cant see have been answered.

    So first a little background, DS is 27months, he is a bit of a handful sometimes. Right now me and DF both work fulltime. We want to buy a house. DF's job is fulltime but it is actually casual, he brings in ok money. As for me, I am 20 so I only get 85% of an adults wage and I work for a not-for-profit, so I am paid a base level (basically what hey legally have to and that is it). We are not getting anywhere finacially and sometimes still live week to week. this is the reasoning to DF sourcing a FIFO job.

    I would quit my fulltime job and hopefully find a 2-3 day a week job that wasnt as demanding as my current job.


    We just need a house deposit - which hopefully wont take longer than a year if he gets a good job.

    So here are my q's -


    Did your toodler change when your partner started FIFO? How? Yes both my children changed. I feel it's been better as they have alot more time off with their dad. At first they were miserable but after a few stints they just new it was normal and are now very much ok with it.

    Was your toddler excited when your partner returned home each time? Used to be and they still are just not as much as again they are very use to it. They do get excited when they hear his car come in and they always jump and run to see him but after 10mins all the excitment has settled.

    How did you handle your partner being away? Its ok if your on the lifestyle roster (which i will explain in your next question) to long and it doesn't work sorry. Its to lonely and that when the kids really start to play up etc. Also if you get really sick you need to make sure you have soome family or someone around that can help you. Because doing it on your own while really ill (like gastro etc) is very hard and your likely to get down in the dumps and again the kids will loose out.

    What timetable worked best? DF may possible be doing 3on 1 off. I am guessing your meaning 3 weeks on 1 week off. Personally I think this is the worst roster you can go on. I think anyone with children would struggle on this. Personally the best are 1. 5 on 5 off 4 on 4 off (days) 2. 1 week on 1 week off or 3. 2 weeks on 1 week off (again not a great roster)

    The thing I am most scared of is how it will effect DS. When your dh gets home you will need them to have just some boys time (father and son time) so they can keep their bond going and so your son feels safe and to not loose that. You wont know until you try it. The longer the roster the hard it will be on him gaurantee. You will notice it in his behaviour.



    Ok there are many pro's and con's. Yes the money is great and if you stick with your plane you will get there quickly, however when you make more money it is easier to spend more so you have to be careful.

    to answer your questions.... I have to children aged 4 and almost 2 and have been doing this for 6months now but my husband used to work 120 fortnights shift work so it was days before they saw him anyway... Now he is at the mines.

  3. #3
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    Did your toodler change when your partner started FIFO? How? The first time he left was the worst, as she didn't understand why daddy was gone. (DD1 was around 18-24 months when he started) It steadily got easier everytime, and now both kids know that daddy goes to work, and he's gone for a while, and then he always comes back because he loves them. The first set might have you tempted to give up, but if you keep going it will get easier for everyone.

    Was your toddler excited when your partner returned home each time? Yes, the girls love knowing when daddy is due home (we usually tell them only a day or two beforehand, because time is a difficult concept for littlies) and he always makes sure to plan something special with them for the day after he gets home. Mostly he'll let them choose - playgym, park, beach, swimming pools, animal farm etc.

    How did you handle your partner being away? It's hard missing him, but on the practical side of things it can be easier sometimes. I don't have to compromise on plans and can leave at a seconds notice (DH is terrible for getting places on time!), only have 3 ppl to clean up after instead of 4, I can watch girly movies and listen to music I like . A big plus is, the times that he is home, he is there. As in, not just for a few hours in evening, and leaving early in the morning like we were before. He's actually there, and we can do so many more things as a family.

    What timetable worked best? DF may possible be doing 3on 1 off. DH is on 5 weeks on, 5 weeks off. It works well for us. It is a long time, but when he's gone I'm so busy with the girls (in a good way) that it's hard to sit around and be mopey - but I do miss him like crazy still. When he's home, it's like a holiday everytime because he's here for so long. We can take trips to visit family (around school holidays now, which is a bummer). I love having him home so much. I think anything with a 1:1 time share thing is fantastic, but they are harder to get I think.

    Our kids really haven't been affected badly by it I don't think. (Apart from the first couple of swings, as I said before). DD2 was a born when he was already doing it, so she's always known that daddy comes and goes, and I guess this baby will too. DD1 is 5 now, and she just accepts it as part of life. Daddy goes away to work, but he still loves her (and tries to talk on phone as much as possible for her) and will always come back. As long as you try to explain to him that daddy WILL come home again, it should be fine.
    Sorry that was long. Good luck.

  4. #4
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    Thanks for your replies ladies. Gave me confidence that we can do this.


 

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