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  1. #1
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    Default DH wants me to wean I don't :'(

    As the title says DH wants me to wean and I really don't

    I've had mastitis 4 times in the past 13 weeks each time needing antibiotics. I have been doing everything right but still end up getting it.

    DH has says he's had enough as he has to stay home to "look after me" each time (and I use that term loosely as he doesn't help me and his still a grump) so I keep over doing it each time cause I don't really get to rest

    I guess this is a vent (although any advice would help) but I don't want to wean I really don't, I only BF DD1 for three weeks and have extreme guilt over this that I really want to make it to 6 months with DD2.

    I just don't know what to do, I don't want to wean, DH wants me to and I can't seem to get significant rest while suffering so am probably making it worse. DH is staying up with her when she won't settle but really I still can't sleep hearing her cry and his half a^**ed attempt to settle her.

    I'm so confused :'( I just don't know what to do :S

  2. #2
    Theophania's Avatar
    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    If you don't want to wean, don't. It is your body and your choice and I can completely understand why you want to continue breastfeeding. Is there anyone you can reach out to for some support? I know of a really good site where you could connect with other women who would support and nurture you. You are so awesome for wanting to feed your child even with what you have been through, it takes alot of hard work to get there and congratulations for persisting as long as you have. At the end of the day if you do wean are you going to resent your husband down the track for making you feel like that was your only choice? I definitely think you need some loving nurturing support, i am not sure where you are located but I think you need to find some help in your area.

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  4. #3
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I second finding an alternative support network. Support is paramount for a successful breastfeeding journey, and a lack of support from the mother's OH can be quite detrimental.

    The ABA has local groups where parents meet up, is that something you would be interested in?

    Also, have you spoken to a qualified LC about the mastitis, or just the GP?

    You are doing an amazing job so far, well done!!

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    I agree.
    Don't wean. You will regret it.
    I have had mastitis 9 times over 3 breastfeeding journeys and I am SO glad I fought through it and weaned when we were both ready.
    DH found it very challenging, but I had my mum and dad to help when it was really bad (they both live over an hour away though!). I would have antibiotics always in cupboard and was so use to the feeling I would start taking them as soon as I felt an inkling!
    Good Luck.
    Either way you've done a fantastic job!!!

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    If his concern is the fact he has to look after you but does little anyway, is there anybody else who can help you if it returns? A sahm girlfriend or your mum? When I had it my mum helped me and I preferred that to my son's father, especially considering he wasn't empathetic which sounds like yours isn't overly empathetic either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    If you don't want to wean, don't. It is your body and your choice and I can completely understand why you want to continue breastfeeding. Is there anyone you can reach out to for some support? I know of a really good site where you could connect with other women who would support and nurture you. You are so awesome for wanting to feed your child even with what you have been through, it takes alot of hard work to get there and congratulations for persisting as long as you have. At the end of the day if you do wean are you going to resent your husband down the track for making you feel like that was your only choice? I definitely think you need some loving nurturing support, i am not sure where you are located but I think you need to find some help in your area.
    Thanks, unfortunately not really as my mum has been pushing me to give her a bottle from day one and most of my mummy friends work would you be able to PM the site name as I definitely need some extra nurturing support

    I definitely think I would hold resentment towards DH if I do wean as I really don't want to. However he is making me feel bad for not taking his feelings / tiredness into consideration :S

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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    I second finding an alternative support network. Support is paramount for a successful breastfeeding journey, and a lack of support from the mother's OH can be quite detrimental.

    The ABA has local groups where parents meet up, is that something you would be interested in?

    Also, have you spoken to a qualified LC about the mastitis, or just the GP?

    You are doing an amazing job so far, well done!!
    Thank you

    I think I might look at the ABA support groups in my area as all I seem to get is 'well you gave it your best shot but you need to give up' sorta attitude from family the only person who tells me to do what I want to do is my dad.

    I've been back to the hospital I had DD2 twice as they have a breastfeeding clinic qualified LC, however she said if I got it again to go straight to the dr to get an ultrasound to check for anything more sinister but nothing came up (which is good) I think I'll call my LC on Thursday to see what else she would suggest.

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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    I agree.
    Don't wean. You will regret it.
    I have had mastitis 9 times over 3 breastfeeding journeys and I am SO glad I fought through it and weaned when we were both ready.
    DH found it very challenging, but I had my mum and dad to help when it was really bad (they both live over an hour away though!). I would have antibiotics always in cupboard and was so use to the feeling I would start taking them as soon as I felt an inkling!
    Good Luck.
    Either way you've done a fantastic job!!!
    Thank you

    I did talk to the GP about long term antibiotics but he said to consider that if I get it again my family are close but my parents still work full time so it's hard to call on them for support also my IL's spend a fair time helping out with SILs kids at school and don't know how I'd feel letting them see me like this :S

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    If his concern is the fact he has to look after you but does little anyway, is there anybody else who can help you if it returns? A sahm girlfriend or your mum? When I had it my mum helped me and I preferred that to my son's father, especially considering he wasn't empathetic which sounds like yours isn't overly empathetic either.
    Unfortunately both my parents still work and my only real close SAHM friends are over an hr and half away

    Nope he isn't being empathetic at all and I get he is tired from trying to settle DD2 at nights but really if he'd stop being like this I'd have one less thing to stress about

  11. #10
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Love is all you need View Post
    Thank you

    I think I might look at the ABA support groups in my area as all I seem to get is 'well you gave it your best shot but you need to give up' sorta attitude from family the only person who tells me to do what I want to do is my dad.

    I've been back to the hospital I had DD2 twice as they have a breastfeeding clinic qualified LC, however she said if I got it again to go straight to the dr to get an ultrasound to check for anything more sinister but nothing came up (which is good) I think I'll call my LC on Thursday to see what else she would suggest.
    Unfortunately it's really not uncommon for family members to offer that sort of advice It's great that your father is being supportive of your wishes.

    I would strongly suggest doing what YOU want to do. If you are determined to continue, then don't stop just because your DH wants you to. If you stop doing something that *you* want to do, you might regret it down the track.


 

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