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  1. #1
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Default *possible Trigger warning* inappropriate touching; educating your kids

    as the title says.

    Do you talk about this with your children?

    How do you approach the subject?

    How often do you talk about it?

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    DS is almost 4 and from when he was a toddler we have had him wash and dry his own genitals and we regularly tell him that it is his body and only people can touch him if he wants them to. We call his genitals by their correct name usually but also call them private so that he understands the importance of only he touching these parts.

    Our discussions will become more detailed as he gets older but I think for now that he understands it is his body and he decides who touches it.

    Writing this makes me realise it is also time to tell him that if someone touches him or does something he does not like to tell me or his dad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by louellyn View Post
    DS is almost 4 and from when he was a toddler we have had him wash and dry his own genitals and we regularly tell him that it is his body and only people can touch him if he wants them to. We call his genitals by their correct name usually but also call them private so that he understands the importance of only he touching these parts.

    Our discussions will become more detailed as he gets older but I think for now that he understands it is his body and he decides who touches it.

    Writing this makes me realise it is also time to tell him that if someone touches him or does something he does not like to tell me or his dad.
    Pretty much the same here. We have already told DD1 that if someone touches her she needs to tell me or DF.

    My parents never really spoke to me about it, and I got touched a number of times while at school.

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    I haven't spoken to ds yet as he's only 2, but I feel it's really Important to make sure they understand no one not even a family member can touch it. Iykwim.

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    We talk about not touching other peoples bottoms, and use correct terminology.

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    We use the correct names with DD, who is 3, cause God forbid she was ever touched I want the person she tells to know exactly what she is talking about instead of saying someone touched my fifi for example and the person not knowing what she means by fifi.

    As a teacher the NSW Child Protection documents teach us to use the correct names so that the child don't think that the correct names are taboo or dirty but instead knows that they are a natural part of life.

    Now that we have DS we have talked about her not touching his penis and how Mummy and Daddy only touch it to clean him in the bath or when we are changing his nappy because he is too young to do it himself. But because she is a big girl she can do it herself. She alsovknows that it is okay to ask us to help her though. For example putting paw paw on her vagina if it is sore.

    Your DS1 should be learning about this at school as part of Child Protection. At this stage they learn about good and bad feelings and the 'No, Go, Tell' strategy. At our school our parents have to sign a note to say their child can participate in these lessons. Does your school do this? Maybe you could ask his teacher what they have done?

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    Good reminder for me. My son is 4.5 and we've never talked about it.. I guess he's at an age now where he can better understand

    ***Sent from my phone***

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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    DS is 3 and DD is 2. I haven't formally approached this with either of them yet. But my son has just kind of developed a sense of his penis being his own iykwim. As they get older I will simply say to them now and then that if anyone ever makes them feel uncomfortably or yucky to come and tell mummy or daddy and we will make sure we do something about it.

    I still clean both my childrens genitals in the bath and I bath them together, they have not really been interested intouching each other really except I guess when they first discovered they were different and even then it was nothing sinister just harmless exploration.

    I don't want to go OTT though with my kids, it happened to me when I was a child and had a lot of implications for me.

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    Ds1 is only 2 however he certainly shows a sense of privacy with his willy.. Other than cleaning it he doesn't like other people touching, especially if he's got a st1ffy at nappy change time, so I hope in the future this continues so that he knows it's not ok for other people to touch.

    At the moment I just tell him thst his willy is private, that only mum dad and manna can touch. But certainly as he gets older and understands more he will get told more, and be told more often.

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    Here, it's pretty much...

    *Nobody is to touch your vagina but you. Mummy may need to help you occasionally (she is so shocking at applying creams and sometimes she wipes really badly so I go back and do it to show her what she's supposed to do), and there might be a time when a doctor needs to have a look, but that will only be with Mummy's permission. Your vagina is for you.

    *It's fine to touch yourself, and to like it. This is something we do in private though.

    *You are not to touch anyone's vagina/penis. Even if they tell you to. Even if they say it's okay to. It's not a part of the body you need to be touching.

    *If anyone ever does touch your vagina, or you touch someone else, you will NOT GET IN TROUBLE. You should tell an adult you feel comfortable with what happened. It can be me, it can be DP, it can be Nanny... it can be any adult you trust. You will not get into trouble, at all.

    *If someone touches you in a way you don't like, you tell them to stop. If they don't stop, you try to make them stop. If they won't, come and tell an adult you trust as soon as you can. You will not be in any trouble at all, but we need to make sure it doesn't happen again.

    Pretty much that is what we've done I think. I figure when she's a teenager she'll learn that if she wants her bf to have a bit of a grope it's different... so no need to cover that now.


 

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