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  1. #11
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    If it's not your designated weekend per the court order, could you have another picnic with them both when it is your time with SD?

    As a 'bio mum' if I trusted my child's father and step-mother enough for them to watch him while I'm sick I'd absolutely let him attend his sibling's birthday picnic unless it conflicted with something equally important on my side of the family.

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  3. #12
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    Yea that really sucks cld u bring up some of the nice things u guys have done, not in a "well we did this for u now do this for us" but more of a "we have always been accommodating for u and sd because she is important to us, if u feel the same way surely this is something u can let her do?"
    We were lucky in the fact dh's ex let his 2 girls attend our dd's 1st bday. We got them for the wkend but had to cancel the party and then we got them again the fortnight after for the party actually not lucky because they're his girls too, they adore their little sister and really wanted to be there - by rights that is exactly what shld have happened dh's ex use to be like the ex in ur lives but now the girls are getting older, they are becoming very vocal about what they want (they are 11 and 13)

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    babybumblebee  (29-05-2012)

  5. #13
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    Awww poor sd
    sorry i don't have any advice but i sure do hope bm comes around or that your able to throw that lil party next time she is around.

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    babybumblebee  (29-05-2012)

  7. #14
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    How sad. What a low life BM.

    We have to deal with a pathetic BM too, she won't allow dss to spend time with his step brother on his birthday as apparently my we are not his family.

    No advice, big hugs, and know your not alone in being stuck with having someone ruin your plans, dictate everything and use you.

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  9. #15
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    Hugs to both you and your step daughter. I have a psycho BM who refuses to allow contact on any days not court ordered but if she wants an extra day off etc is more than happy to ask. We always end up having 2 birthdays, 2 Santa visits (Santa comes overnight then again at midday whilst we are picking up SD's. It sucks

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  11. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpaghettiMonster View Post
    I feel like we should start a support group for those of us dealing with horrible BM of our step children. Then maybe as a group we could go to their houses and tell them how insane they are being.
    Lol! I'm up for that!!

  12. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    As per the court orders, is it your access day?
    No so I do understand it is her weekend but we are always so flexible and this means so much to SD ...

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    I dont know how to take this we could ask her nicely let her know SD is really upset word it very well and hope.for the best!
    It could kick off a huge bish fight and in the lead up to such an important event for me I would be very resentful
    And she wins her little power trip

    Or
    we let it go, live our own life!
    I will take SD shopping for a gift, she can help make cup cakes and we will just
    Celebrate with SD on an alternative day with DD Little friends, ignore BM this time round we will let her be the one letting SD down and from now on we will stop being so flexible to Bm to save ourselves the stress.

    I think we may also talk to SD about sticking to the court orders from now on because its causing too much tension!

    Waaa I will never understand this lady

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  15. #19
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    Again it's hard dealing with women like this but just hold out hope (as we do) that one day your SD will see things as they are and then BM will have a lot of questions to answer.[/QUOTE]

    SD spoke to me about this on the way to school this morning she said her mum is really unfair and annoying! But I cant tell her how upset I am because when she gets angry she gets mean shouting all the time and yelling at me for no reason ...
    So I guess BM will never realise how much SD is being hurt in all this ...


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  16. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpaghettiMonster View Post
    I agree that you should stick to the court orders. I'm going to make sure my DP does the same whenever he gets his sorted for his children. As it is he is like you and is always bending backwards to give BM's the extra time they want but gets nothing in return. I know it's hard because you feel like someone should be the bigger person in the situation but sadly it gets you no where.
    As for a birthday celebration maybe just do extra little things to make it just as special as the first party. You could have your SD help you bake a cake in the morning, and you could take lots of pictures for her. Perhaps also see of your DPs family member could attend as well so it feels like a real party.
    Again it's hard dealing with women like this but just hold out hope (as we do) that one day your SD will see things as they are and then BM will have a lot of questions to answer.
    I try with all my might to make DH stick to the orders, just so BM can see how hopeless she is being in 99% of situations.

    But DH won't ever say no to her. She needs a baby sitter, we r it, she needs to swap weeks we do. She can't take him to sport, we do!
    P!sses me off no end and it is the cause for 90% of DH & my arguments.

    BM is a complete nut job, has no logic, no common sense and never ever puts her kids first.

    I HATE HER and I never use the hate word. She Is close to ruining my marriage.


 

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