Options for getting pregnant without a man?

**stormgirl73** · 27-05-2012 20:02

Hi
Firstly I am just asking for advice at this stage and do not want any 'opinions' on what is right or wrong!
I am not sure I am posting this in the correct forum so my apologies if I have.
I am 39, single with a 9 year old girl who I conceived naturally. My dilemma is that I desperately want another child and am now very worried and upset that it might not happen because of my age etc. I had a termination last year (long story so please withhold judgement) which was extremely heartbreaking and I deeply regret, but this has only made me realise how much I yearn for another child. However I will not 'use' a guy just to get pregnant, that is not who I am. Does anyone know what options I have eg artificial insemination using sperm donor etc. Would I qualify for this and does anyone know the costs as I have been told conflicting stories from under $500 to over $10,000?? Has anyone done this?? I am aware that lesban couples use this procedure. Also sonce I already have a child does that mean I may not be eligible??
Every day I walk around with this empty hole in my heart that only seems to get worse. I just want to be a mum again and give my daughter a sibling.
Can anyone offer me any advice in this??

Thanks

**wishmeluck** · 27-05-2012 21:13

Hi Stormgirl73

Welcome to Bubhub

There are lots of women in our boat who are at the pointy end of our reproductive years and for various reasons have not been fortunate enough to end up with a man to help us fulfil our lifelong dreams of being a Mum, or a Mum a second time (as in your case)

There is a single and donor sperm thread on this forum but this is an IVF thread. You are welcome to join us, or I notice there is another Bubhub thread for non-IVF Fertility Assistance and a Sub Thread on IUI etc at this link http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/f...ity-assistance

You can access donor sperm through fertility clinics and do IUI etc, and at much lower cost than IVF. Depending on which State you're in, there are different laws regulating sperm donation and importing from overseas. Some States have long waiting lists for donor sperm. I'm in Perth, and the current wait is approximately 12 months! Other States don't have as long waiting lists but it depends on the Clinic. There are Australian sites that can link you up with Donors to make private arrangements, but obviously you'd need to make sure everything is agreed to and written up legally to protect your interests and those of any children you have and that all medical checks have been completed.

Hope this helps. Good luck for your journey.

Wish

**stormgirl73** · 29-05-2012 19:58

Hi and thanks for your reply.
I am in Queensland and am going to the Family Planning Clinic this week to discuss if there were any complications from my termination etc so I guess (or hope) they can point me in the right direction. I lie in bed EVERY NIGHT awake for hours, crying over my termination and how I am scared that was my last chance, especially now that I am single. I mentioned to a friend about sperm donor and she was appalled at the idea which left me feeling even more deflated

. She meant well but she has three kids already so doesn't have to worry about going down this path.
The other thing is that I have no money as I have been a single mother now for 9 years with no support therefore very VERY limited savings, not enough for the $10,000 I have been told I would be paying (and then some!). I also was told that I may not be accepted as I already have a child which was conceived naturally. I am so heartbroken and feel like I don't know where to turn. I want to talk to someone who won't judge and respects my desire to have another child.
Private sperm donor sounds scary, how can you be sure that is safe?? Please forgive me if I am naive to all this!
I am also curious as to how the Govt (centrelink) perceive and process this when applying for single parenting payment as they insist you go for child support from the father??
Anyway, thank you so much again for your reply. Hopefully I will get some answers soon enough or even speak to others who have been in my situation.