I have written a letter that may help you decide if you really want to do that...
well thank you so much for asking me, I won't say I am honoured. I know what this means.
You now think you own me. My time, my soul, my fashion sense.
It will be your right to call me and demand a dress meeting or a gym session.
You will think its ok to tell me to wear coral in front of loads of people and you will take photos.
You will see me as personally responsible for your every happiness and you will love to tell everyone how crap I am.
If your day does not go to plan, it will be my fault...
so to make it easier , here is all the stuff I will not do.
I am not going to be at your beck and call. You are a grown woman and you are just getting married. You are not a princess and you are capable of getting your own food.
I will not help you wee. Its not cute, its not funny.
If you cannot manage to wee alone, I suggest a dress change.
I am not in charge of all your other guests. If your family kick off, its your families fault.
I will get drunk as I will be tired and emotional, after having to wear coral.
Please do not tell me I will wear the dress again, we both know its a big fat lie.
This is going to cost me lots. It wont be easy. I love you, I am glad you are getting married, but I am stumped at why I have to pay for the privellege of wearing coral.
When you are complaining that I was not helpful enough, I didnt do enough...please remember that I have my own life that has to keep ticking.
Organisning 15 women for a hens party is a nightmare. Its impossible to please them all and it always ends up costing me more....
The anxiety of a speech is just tooo much for me.
So maybe I should just be a guest. I would love to come to your wedding. I would love to party with you and laugh and cry.
I want to throw confetti and get teary as you say I do.
I want to be there in a nice dress that I already own.
I want to look forward to it!
I hope this helps,
Love...your selfish friend.
I hate being a bridesmaid.