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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psylent View Post
    You never, ever really know someone. It's terrible, but even if you've been married to someone for 10, 20 years they can have secrets you're not aware of - or a sick side. Unfortunately, the worst people are always the best at hiding things. Think about the families of serial killers - they usually have no idea at all. The best response is to be vigilant, and educate your kids as much as possible... without scaring the crap out of them.

    So, you may trust someone, but that does not guarantee that they deserve it.
    That can't make for a happy home life. My dad sexually abused me as a kid, but I know my mother trusted that he never would. Was that trust misplaced? Yes, but I'm confident in the fact that my mother before hand and while they were trying with me, never looked at him and thought "This man might sexually abuse my kids!" and had children with him anyway. The betrayal from that, more than the sexual abuse, for me, would have been far worse.
    I just don't understand why you would still intentionally have children with someone you could believe would do that to your kids, if that makes sense?
    Or, how would you react if your partner didn't trust you with your own children, just because they thought you could sexually abuse them?

    Again, it's just a general you and I know it might come across as attacking someone and it's not intentional, I'm genuinely trying to understand is all.

  2. #22
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    Educating the children can only do so much. Grooming involves a lot of manipulation by an adult and children are just too vulnerable. I think that abuse happens slowly, it's not so much the sleep over, but the regular contact with someone they trust

    Sent from my HTC Legend using BubHub

  3. #23
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    There are only a handfull of people I trust with my kids.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    That can't make for a happy home life. My dad sexually abused me as a kid, but I know my mother trusted that he never would. Was that trust misplaced? Yes, but I'm confident in the fact that my mother before hand and while they were trying with me, never looked at him and thought "This man might sexually abuse my kids!" and had children with him anyway. The betrayal from that, more than the sexual abuse, for me, would have been far worse.
    I just don't understand why you would still intentionally have children with someone you could believe would do that to your kids, if that makes sense?
    Or, how would you react if your partner didn't trust you with your own children, just because they thought you could sexually abuse them?

    Again, it's just a general you and I know it might come across as attacking someone and it's not intentional, I'm genuinely trying to understand is all.
    Personally, I don't believe my DH would ever do that. I do trust him, very much. But I am aware that there's a possibility that ANYONE in our life could do something to my kids. It's not like I keep them locked up and don't let them come into contact with anyone, but I do think very hard about how much I trust someone before I let them look after my children. Yes, even with all that, something might happen. It's life, and I accept that, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to let them stay with just anyone because in my eyes that increases the risk... much as drugs and drink driving increase the risk of car crashes.
    In my eyes, it's like understanding that everytime you get into a car, you could be in a fatal accident. Chances are not huge of it happening, but it's still better to be aware of that and therefore extra careful, then not be prepared for it at all.

  5. #25
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    This thread really caught my eye because I am counting down the minutes until I can go and get my 7 year old DS from his friends house. This is the first time I have ever left him with anyone except family and it is with a lady who I have known quite well for over a year now. I am still struggling a little though lol

  6. #26
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    I have a few friends I'd trust, it's more a matter of not wanting to inflict my kids on others.

    We have a lot of family who are happy to watch our kids.


 

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