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  1. #11
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    I don't fully trust anybody except myself, DH and my parents. For example, our neighbour is lovely and is always offering to watch DS for an hour or two. I do think she would be fine, but I don't know her partner that well, and I don't know the friends he or she might have drop in.

    Girlfriends with kids that I have known for a while I trust but I don't trust who else they may have in their home iykwim.

  2. #12
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    I have said no to a playover and a sleepover for one friend of one of my twins and they are older. (I have given excuses both times that we are busy) Purely because I have met both the mum and the dad and get a bad feeling. Nothing I can truely put my finger on and I have tried and I feel bad about it. But at the end of the day I have to trust my instincts.

    Those same instincts also tell me to trust a number of people too though. I have some friends that I trust just as much as I trust myself.

    There was a sleepover party last year that my twins were invited to and I left it up to them. I knew the mum but didn't know the new step father at all. I had met him once but that was it. But in their case they would have been together and they are older. But they decided they weren't comfortable. Not because they didn't know the step father but because they didn't think they would be comfortable staying the night.

    But when they are in high school there are totally different rules. I have had friends sleep over here where I hadn't even met the friend yet let alone the mum or dad. But we are talking about 12yrs+ and DD1 and her friends have their own phone to call home if need be anyway.

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  4. #13
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    I have a friend of DS's over about twice a week for a few hours each time. He only lives down the road and the mum is currently helping me out with a bit of babysitting i need with work. DS goes to her house about twice a week on average as well. He has also slept there one night so that way i didnt have to drop him there before 6am. Her son would of slept over by now as well but the first time he was being punished and the second time he had a hospital appointment the next day. Might happen next week as i feel like i really have to repay the favour.

    ETA there is one mum who is constantly asking for coop to go there or for her son to come over and i keep making excuses as i feel uncomfortable. When you go to school bragging how hung over you are on a school day i am not interested in it.

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    Last edited by Myztiks#1Fan; 25-05-2012 at 20:16.

  5. #14
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    There are a few friends who I would leave my children with, but most of them live far away.

    One friend lives close by, but our kids are the same age, and still a bit young for a sleep over, but I trust her 100% to look after my kids.

  6. #15
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    I don't worry about it that much TBH. My DD is at school and I have made a point of being friendly and getting to know most of the parents.... I would have no problem with DD going over for a playdate at any of her classmates houses

    For sleepovers, both DD and DS have slept over at grandparents, and 2 aunties. My mum and dad have also taken DD to Sydney for a holiday and they stayed with some of their friends so I guess that was a sleepover too

    DD is at the age where friend sleepovers are becoming more common (she is 5) and I am not going to rule anything out. If I have met the parents and she is happy with going -then I will most likely allow it

  7. #16
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    i am dreadful.. DS is five and i trust noone but my mum and sister... i feel if they are too young to take control of the situation then they are too young to really be left alone without immediate familly.. in ten minutes anything can happen!

  8. #17
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    I don't think you can ever know for sure. You can't even trust your partner or other kids for sure - I mean, how many kids are sexually abused by parents or siblings out there?

    Thing is, you can only do what you can. Set your kids up with good knowledge about their body and what's acceptable, how to deal with unacceptable situations, etc... and know that you've done all that you can without keeping your kids captive for something which may never ever happen.

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  10. #18
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    I agree with you whole heartedly Sassy. You will never 'know' you can only do your best and have common sense.
    I let my children have sleep overs where the parenting styles are similar in homes which I know.

  11. #19
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    I'm sorry, but why would you willingly have a child with your partner, if you don't trust them not to sexually abuse your children?? And why would they have children with you, if they don't entirely trust you not to sexually abuse their children??

    Meant as a general you, not at anyone in particular.

  12. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    I'm sorry, but why would you willingly have a child with your partner, if you don't trust them not to sexually abuse your children?? And why would they have children with you, if they don't entirely trust you not to sexually abuse their children??

    Meant as a general you, not at anyone in particular.
    You never, ever really know someone. It's terrible, but even if you've been married to someone for 10, 20 years they can have secrets you're not aware of - or a sick side. Unfortunately, the worst people are always the best at hiding things. Think about the families of serial killers - they usually have no idea at all. The best response is to be vigilant, and educate your kids as much as possible... without scaring the crap out of them.

    So, you may trust someone, but that does not guarantee that they deserve it.


 

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