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  1. #271
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    Good luck Bindi, I'll be lurking now and then to see what you're up to.

  2. #272
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Bindi, that is just awful what you have gone through, you have endured a lot, the physical as well as emotional pain!!

    Net I can't believe your mother did that, that is absolutely crossing the line..

    Marttc you made the right choice to go to Lyn!!

    Hi everyone else!!

    Afm: feeling yuk, I think I have a touch of gastro, as well as trying to hold off a cold ( having olive leaf extract) with AF on top of it all.. I should be getting ready to go to my nieces birthday but I am struggling to move...first scan next Friday with FS!

  3. #273
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    Good luck Zak. I think you should be resting up!

  4. #274
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    Zacmick - I hope that you are feeling better now. What an aweful thing!
    HAve spoken with Fertility clinic and will do a phone consult next Thurday to see where we go. Will have to wait for the next cycle after AF shows so will be a while for a before we start again.
    Faced a lot of friends this weekend including 2 that are pregnant which was emotional. Has been good to get it over and done with as I have been quite anxious about it.
    Hope that everyone else is fine!

  5. #275
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    Hi Girls, sorry have been MIA for a while. Watching the boards but not posting.

    Bindi - I am very sorry for your loss and the horrible story that goes with it. Being in the country makes things just that bit harder

    Net - how are you going?

    Zak - has the gastro gone? And how is the arm? I see you are tracking for a new cycle now?

    Disney - you sound a bit like me at the moment xx

    MARTTC, Tigger, Minxyq - you still hanging in there?

    GirlX - been thinking of you every day xx

    Well I am struggling majorly again. Seems to come in waves really. I hate myself for being so jealous of other people and being so selfish. I know its kind of normal, but everything just makes me sad and jealous these days and that isnt who I am.
    Things being **** at work dont help. And I didnt win x-lotto
    Found out last week that HCG is down to 22, so back for bloods again this week, but they wont be below 5 yet Im sure again.
    Went back to FS on thursday and found out need to wait 2 full periods post MC so very angry and sad now. I thought I could go again with the next one. So going to try and bargain for that this week. No period yet and now nearly 4 weeks post D&C, but apparently period wont come until hcg is under 2, or it might be a couple of weeks more than that and so with my 4.5 week cycle on top of that we are looking at anywhere from 6.5 to 10 weeks to go again. Aaaaaarrrggghh. This is not helping my recovery. I really wanted to start another cycle before turning 35 at the end of Sept, but that is looking increasingly unlikely If FS makes us stick to that plan, then we will take a holiday. Poor DH I think he is sick of me. I lost all perspective on everything on thurs and did the ugly cry for hours and he did the nearest thing he has ever done to yelling at me, to tell me that what I was saying was rubbish and not what FS had said - he was right, but I had totally lost it. I just want to move forward

    So its all a bit **** again here.
    Hope you are all doing better than me.
    Got a diagnosis of "poor quality eggs" too on thurs, which has knocked me for 6. But seems to have come just from the first cycle and my eggs being a bit tough to denude for the ICSI - bloody hell we need another label!

    Oh well onward and forward, somehow...
    If this nauseousness and headache would p off then maybe I could think about moving forward...

    Love to you all. Sorry for the down in the dumps me post (And all of the saddy faces!)
    Sel
    Last edited by SelM22; 13-08-2012 at 11:57.

  6. #276
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    Oh honey Sel, you poor thing! I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. I hope you feel free to dump it all here. I had an experience last week that I fortunately recognised as possibly being fuelled by hormones so dumped here and elsewhere in cyberspace rather than losing it at people. It is so hard not to do though. I wish I could say I'm not usually sad and jealous but unfortunately not the case! Even though the break is frustrating, I think it will help normalise things and a holiday will probably do you all the good in the world, will you go anywhere in particular? Good luck with everything.

  7. #277
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Sel honey,
    I'm so sorry... You need to be a bit easier on yourself, you still have hcg in your system which plays with your emotions- makes us into people we are not normally. Fuelled with FS saying you need a 2 mth break, turning 35 and being told your egg quality wasn't the best... That is a lot to digest.. And the icing on the cake is AF won't come to till hcg is below 2, which probably feels like the nightmare is not ending..
    I think you are holding it together the best you can under the circumstances.
    DH is probably as frustrated as what you are, but he has the clear head not the added hormones like you do and can rationalise things better. Let him be your rock for awhile to get you through this tough time xox

    P.s haven't started BT's yet, first scan on Friday

  8. #278
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    Thanks Girls. So glad to have somewhere to dump where I know you understand what its like. I know this process is changing who I am as a person and in some ways for the better, but in others not so much.

    And I know what we are facing isnt the worst thing in the world, or even in the infertility world, but sometimes...

    I have sent an email to my FS to bargain about an earlier start to next cycle - going with next period instead of the following one, will see how we go

    FS has also suggested possibly using growth hormone during stimms to improve egg quality. I dont know much about this. However, I thought with 3 very good blasts and one average from 6, we were tracking ok? So the poor egg quality thing sent me for a loop.
    We have signed the paperwork for the next cycle - so I have that to make me feel like we are getting somewhere.

    You girls are both right, the hormones are playing a role and my FS even said that. He was so sweet about it all. DH doesnt seem so committed to the idea that the hormones are impacting, although with all the tears you would think he does realise that! DH isnt so good at being my rock But he is the most passive sweet person. Sometimes I wish he would just crack it with all of this ****, but he is the eternal optimist!

    You will laugh at this Net - but front runner for a holiday at this stage is Perth! We are adelaide people and havent ever been there, and everyone we know who lives there loves it! I am also looking for a cruise to New Caledonia or somewhere, but havent found one yet

    TBH I am finding it hard to think holiday, I just want the HCG at zero, so I can move on, I want to live in a nice little bubble and I want the bloody timeline for the next cycle. Oh and no more back pain, nauseousness or being grumpy! (God I hope that means AF is coming soon )

    I do find using the smileys on this site strangely therapeutic! LOL.

    Love and light to you all
    Thanks so much for being there for me
    xx

  9. #279
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Sel, I'm the same at times I wish DH would show more emotion, cry, yell throw things but he keeps plodding along. I wonder what goes on in his head at times... But then I think he probably doesn't show me that side as he wants to be strong for me, he will just get on the bed and just hug me when I'm crying.. Geez I'm tearing up just thinking about it..

  10. #280
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zakmick View Post
    Sel, I'm the same at times I wish DH would show more emotion, cry, yell throw things but he keeps plodding along. I wonder what goes on in his head at times... But then I think he probably doesn't show me that side as he wants to be strong for me, he will just get on the bed and just hug me when I'm crying.. Geez I'm tearing up just thinking about it..
    Mine is exactly the same, and I love him for it.
    I guess I just judge him by my standards, and truly I am a handful enough and emotional enough for us both LMAO!
    xx


 

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