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  1. #251
    Zakmick's Avatar
    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Hey girls!! (warning this is a tmi post)

    Nice to know you are doing ok with that wretched elbow to Minxyq!!

    Well AF is taking her merry time of it, started speaking with one of the pregnant girls at the school I'm doing emergency teaching at. Guess what she is due Xmas day! Bam!! Slap in the face! The day I was due...

    Although with saying that if my bub did survive it wouldn't have been good for them or us. I googled the other day the chromosome abnormality that my embryo had, there were children that had survived. I wholeheartedly believe that any child should be allowed their chance at life with any disability or health concern, but reading the stories of pain that these children go through and their life expectancy... Made me rethink things.. I always said I wouldn't get an amino or morphology scan but I'm reconsidering.. As who am I being fair to?

    My mind keeps thinking that we got 3 embryos from last cycle, 2 were put in me(m/c), we have one left- will this one be the same? We have one from 2006 and that was one of a 3 fertilized embryo cycle too(the other two resulted in bfn). The odds are not working out in my head... These two embryos we have left are not from good stock if the other failed embryos are anything to go by...

    I have ordered my royal jelly and maca root, taking my zinc, cq10 and the other copious vitamins ( even looked up dhea last night but i cant have it due to pco) as I believe their not going to work and I need to get my body prepared for another stim cycle. I haven't told anyone of my thoughts ( except you girls now).. But on the other hand I feel I need to give the embryos a chance... As I keep saying to others it's not these embryos fault that the others didn't decide to play by the rules!! Need to take my own advice...

    Just come on AF, get your **** into gear, as I want time to do another stim cycle if needed and we may even change clinics...

    Mini vent over!!

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Zakmick For This Useful Post:

    minxyq  (07-08-2012),SelM22  (07-08-2012)

  3. #252
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    Hey zak, sorry on phone again, so hard to post as I'm still training it lol!

    Seriously I could just insert me into your thoughts, cept I don't have two embies from diff cycles, but two from our fourth official cycle, but the only cycle things have gone to plan. I worry that ours might have whatever the same issue is as why we lost the identical twins. But there is also the slightly more rational side of me thinking well on average at 34 nearly 35 something like
    50 to 60 percent of eggs are normal and if they get to blast a higher percentage of them are normal than d3 etc. So maybe one of our frosties, and one of yours are ok? No guarantees though and that is the totally sucky bit.

    I also have in my head what my fs said about latest clinic data on normal embies after pgs, that 18% are normal, so about 1 in 6. Now those sent for pgs are from I hate this term "poor prognosis" patients, older women, poor reserve, poor quality, perhaps poor sperm too. So hopefully one of our two is ok, or both! But the realist in me is thinking like u. This is why we are doing fresh next cycle, sending for pgs and then putting in the frosties. I hope this gets us out baby and answers too. I also hope it doesn't get us to an answer like all your embies are ****, time to give up. That thought scares the **** out of me.

    Sorry I'm not being too helpful really. Just trying to say I totally get your post. And I hate the universe for throwing one of 7 billion people in front of us who is due the day of our loss. Seriously universe please stop doing this!!!

    Minxy sorry bout your arm. Bugger. And thanks for your post. I wish I could find more of what you have in terms of dealing with pregnant others. I just find the jealous reaction comes first. My best girlfriend has just had no 8, and I was happy for her after i came out of my initial spiral of jealousy and the world being unfair. But her kids are my god children and I love them all. Somedays though I just can't be there its too full on. I was there today and really enjoyed it an,my cuddles, but that is the first time I've felt strong enough post our losses

    I guess really I'm just petrified that we will be one of the couples who won't get there and I can't live like that


    Sorry much more of a me post than I intended.

    Been thinking about you all. Especially with tiggers latest result


    xx
    sorry for the typos

    xxgirlx

  4. #253
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    And i need a bloody timeline!! wish i knew when af is coming, but all anyone says is 2-7 wks or so post d&c. Aaaaaaarrrrrgh. I'm off to clinic for bloods again morrow, hope that hcg is lowering.

    Anyone got experience with when af returns?
    Xx

  5. #254
    Zakmick's Avatar
    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Thanks Sel, your helping by reading and telling me it's normal what I'm thinking... Your statistics helped too, so we are both in for a chance, although mine are day 3s..

    After both d& c's it took 38 days.

    this is my second AF I'm waiting on now after d&c, I'm at CD 39 and I have all the signs and it still hasn't shown...
    Last edited by Zakmick; 07-08-2012 at 23:22.

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    SelM22  (07-08-2012)

  7. #255
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    Thanks zak, and your af is being very naughty! Is that your normal length cycle?

    Would be gd to find more data on normal embies post pgs for diff ages and "problems" wouldnt it, so we know the chances!!

    My fs prefers d5 transfers, but he always reminds me that melb IVF does d3 routinely and they have great results!

    It's all trial and error. must be a very interesting and frustrating job for our fs's. but its mostly **** for me!!

    Xx

  8. #256
    Zakmick's Avatar
    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Sel all over the place anything from 25- 45 days.. City fertility were I am prefer blasties too but depending how they are growing may encourage to freeze at day 3

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    Thanks for sharing that Zak, I have googled so much on this to find out an answer and there just isnt one!
    And I asked the FN last week what will happen when my HCG gets to 0 and she said, we dont know, you might O, you might get your period, or nothing might happen - aaaaaarrrggghh, really! Surely there is a sort of pattern in women's behaviour!

    I am a 29-33 day kind of person, so hopefully that might happen. This waiting for AF sux! (Sorry not very eloquent !!)

    Re 3 day tfers, you are definitely better to tfer them back or freeze at d3 if they arent looking like making blast or there arent many to chose from. Ive seen research on that in the past. I still hold hope for your little embies. My clinic is very much a blast clinic, however, they will do d3 and d4 for some women, and it works for some women better! (My second last cycle all of our embies arrested around d4, and I dont ever want to go through that again, so there are definite risks with pushing the poor little things too hard, especially with yucky sperm!)


    Is your plan when AF arrives in the next couple of days to tfer the frozen ones? Ive never done an FET so not sure how that works!

    I am still channelling the universe for AF for you!

    xx

  10. #258
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    tiggerfields is offline Priestess of Kult K'iesha... Mooo!
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    Hi girls

    Joining in while waiting to start af/mc after our first IVF cycle which has failed. Got good BFP to start with but just like all our natural pregnancies the embryo has stopped developing around 4.5 weeks.

    Had a big cry to DH last night and told him I don't want to try again until next year, five losses in a year has been so tough and I feel I need a break. I was feeling relieved last night but today I just feel sad

    Hoping the bleeding starts soon so I can get it over with.

    Totally understand the jealous feelings, I feel pretty jealous of my pg girlfriends at the moment. i'm supposed to be going to my cousin's baby's first birthday party this weekend but I'm not sure I really want to put myself through it.

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    Hey Tigger
    Sending you a massive cyber hug from the place of completely understanding. Well actually as much as I can. Five losses in one year is just **** tbh. I have no other words for that.

    Feeling sad today is absolutely what I would expect. You have been a real trooper on the other boards with all of the other girls. I have admired that the whole time. I am a little less good at that atm.

    I am asking the universe for some cooperation on the af thing - for us both.
    I totally admire you for taking the break.

    One day Id like to ask you about your journey more - about the PGD and why you are in IVF etc. Sorry Im not good at remembering all of peoples details etc. Especially with the number of people on the other board! Im such an old person these days!

    My heart is very heavy and sad for you




    (I hate doing the AFM thing on the end of personals, sorry tigger )

    AFM - clinic called just now. Have next appointment with FS tomorrow now due to a cancellation. So thats good. Got to get head around what to ask.
    Also got bloods. Progesterone and Oestrogen at baseline - yaaaah! And HCG now 22 (down from 172 this time last week and peak of 14kish). So we are getting there!
    Not sure what that means with cycle though. Another set of bloods next wed too.

    How are the rest of you holding up?
    Net? MARTTC? Minxyq? Clem?

    xx
    Last edited by SelM22; 08-08-2012 at 13:36.

  12. #260
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    Quote Originally Posted by SelM22 View Post
    Hey Tigger
    Sending you a massive cyber hug from the place of completely understanding. Well actually as much as I can. Five losses in one year is just **** tbh. I have no other words for that.

    Feeling sad today is absolutely what I would expect. You have been a real trooper on the other boards with all of the other girls. I have admired that the whole time. I am a little less good at that atm.

    I am asking the universe for some cooperation on the af thing - for us both.
    I totally admire you for taking the break.

    One day Id like to ask you about your journey more - about the PGD and why you are in IVF etc. Sorry Im not good at remembering all of peoples details etc. Especially with the number of people on the other board! Im such an old person these days!

    My heart is very heavy and sad for you




    (I hate doing the AFM thing on the end of personals, sorry tigger )

    AFM - clinic called just now. Have next appointment with FS tomorrow now due to a cancellation. So thats good. Got to get head around what to ask.
    Also got bloods. Progesterone and Oestrogen at baseline - yaaaah! And HCG now 22 (down from 172 this time last week and peak of 14kish). So we are getting there!
    Not sure what that means with cycle though. Another set of bloods next wed too.

    How are the rest of you holding up?
    Net? MARTTC? Minxyq? Clem?

    xx
    Hi Sel, I'm just recovering after a laparoscopy on Monday, where they found and removed endo, they think I have pcos too..... I relapsed a couple of times in recovery, blood pressure dropped & needed oxygen. Was a tuff day Monday very groggy & sore but okay today just tender where the incisions are!
    Also waiting for DH to have another SA, hoping for better results after 3 months of acupuncture

    Hope your numbers drop quickly for you
    Back onto the next cycle


    FIRST CYCLE FEB/MAR 2012
    IVF ICSI BFP - but sadly miscarried @ 6 weeks..... :'(

    ET - 21/05/2012 - BFN
    ET - 14/06/2012 - BFN
    IVF all over for us for now..


 

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