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  1. #231
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    girlx. Pour your heart out to the counsellor. I did!!
    And I don't think there is one of us on here that doesn't hear you on the exhaustion thing. I must have said that 3 million times today. It's just hard. But we are strong too, remember that hun. And one of my friends had a hard time being pregnant too, many women do, its not all sweetness and light, so stands to reason u rapprehensive and scared. But there is nothing to say that your next pregnancy will be the same either. I'm taking things minute by minute and learning to breathe again. Xx

    Zakmick thanks for the reply. FN just said levels are still up so its going to be a while longer. Seems they also reduce in the same pattern as they increase, so halving every 2-3 days. So at least 10 days to 2+ weeks for me I reckon. Bugger. I really just want to get cracking now, and at least get one more attempt in before the dreaded 35th birthday. Oh well suck it up Selina...

    How's everyone else? Sorry been a lot of me stuff today

  2. #232
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    Me post!!

    I'm sooooo sore, my feet are hurting my knee is up like a balloon, because guess what this idiot agreed too?

    Back to teaching before I think my knee was ready. I had grade 1/2 today, I have prep tomorrow and 3/4 thurs. I think I'll need to be stretchered out on thursday.

    Also the school I was at today, taught me such a valuable lesson. A teachers husband over the past few days found out that he had incur able cancer that was all through his skeletal system. In 3 days he has been put in an induced coma and i believe as of this morning he only had hours to live. Life is too short, hug the ones you love, tell them you love them and live each day as its your last and don't give up on your dreams. X

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    SelM22  (31-07-2012)

  4. #233
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    Teaching so soon on your knee? What were you thinking?

  5. #234
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    Zakmick you are a very naughty girl (sounds like something I would do, cept my students would be 18+ and too busy on their iphones to even care!)

    The rest of your post is priceless advice.

    xx

  6. #235
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    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
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    I have just realised how many teachers on BH are TTC, it just adds another dynamic.

    Sel- what do you teach?

  7. #236
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    Wow Zac, sure puts things in perspective doesn't it? How horrible for the husband to have so little time to be able to come to terms with things and make his peace. I've just come to my second regret in relation to death. My uncle is now on his deathbed I've been told. I'm not sure if its true but I was going to write to him before it got that bad and now I fear I've procrastinated too long.

    I hope everyone is travelling well. I've sorted some stuff out with my FS. She had referred me for NK Cell testing but I had decided not to go ahead with it which I let the clinic know, however I hadn't realised she also wanted me to get a second opinion from him. She hadn't handed the orders over as she was waiting for that to come in. I've decided to do a medicated IUI. It's a little more expensive than a cancelled IVF which is converted but I wont run so much risk of getting too many follies and having to cancel altogether. I may be more convinced she has my best interests at heart but for a bold woman such as myself a conservative approach is frustrating. I'd be more than happy to IUI with four follies, I think there's so little risk of my getting the egg quality for multiples. The doc won't risk it though so I shall have to behave, well try anyway. Now if AF would cooperate I could get started jabbing. weird how I've grown to enjoy injecting myself.

  8. #237
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    Zakmick - I am a uni researcher, not doing much teaching at the moment, just fill in stuff for my boss. In regional development and housing stuff. Actually I really enjoy it, especially teaching first years! Weird I know.

    Net - hmmm I understand your comment about the conservative approach. I often think why dont they throw everything at a cycle given how costly and stressful they are. But then the practical and rational side of me comes back to the fore and I reaslise they cant just do things for the hell of it.
    It would be nice sometimes if FS' actually say actually what they mean - like I want you to go and get a second opinion, and it would be fine if they say something like "I cant quite understand why things arent working for you, everything looks good, so I think perhaps we should get another perspective on things". I dont see anything wrong with that. When we have done this a few times I think we understand that quite a bit of this is stabbing in the dark at times, if you know what I mean And totally understand your comments about multiple follies and the risk. I havent done IUI or medicated FET so not quite up with how many follies they like to take a risk with, Im assuming one is preferred and two is ok?? But we all understand the risks with this process. I have a receptive FS to my weird thoughts at times, I often ask weird stuff, so I managed to win the battle (actually not much of a battle really) to have two embies put back each time, and I understand the risk.


    Take care guys.

    xx

  9. #238
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    Hi Girls
    Well I think I finally hit my rock bottom last night. It was another tough day at work with all the things going on, and then I got home to a message from one of my really good friends asking if I was up for a chat, which anyone going through this process knows is code for "I need to tell you that we are pregnant". And that was it, three hours of crying. Purely because I am jealous. Her baby will be born 27/1, so exactly one month after our twins would have been here if they were viable. So all the counselling etc this week has gone out the window and the **** is very thick today.

    Anyone got any wisdom on how to deal with these feelings. I realise that being nearly that bloody dreaded 35 is the reasons for the meltdown and also for the fact that I have 5 good friends pregnant at the moment, but I need to know that I am not a bad person, that this is normal to feel like this and how to move on.

    I hope everyone else is doing better than me
    xx

  10. #239
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    Sel

    You are not a bad person at all. I think you're a pretty awesome person, actually.

    Those feelings are so so normal. At the moment every pregnancy announcement hurts, and reminds us of what we don't have and how much we want to be in their shoes. And when someone has had no problem conceiving there is almost a feeling of 'But I deserve it MORE than she does!' because we have had to go through so much - and are still going through so much - to get to that point.

    That's all very normal, and very human.

    I once sat in the car crying for ages after a friend announced her pregnancy to everyone. I had heaps of appointments that day, and cancelled everything, as I just couldn't cope. Some days we're just not equipped to deal with that, and after everything you have just been through, the timing was terrible.

    I wish I had some great words of wisdom on how to deal with it, but I think unfortunately it's something we have to ride out rather than overcome. And that's okay too. I think it's a case of putting one foot in front of the other, and dealing with things as best we can, and - in doing do - knowing that some days we will just cry, or feel angry, or grieve, and those are all normal responses to what we are going through.

    I'm sending you a million of these from a distance, and I am here if you ever want to talk xxx

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  12. #240
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    Sel, I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard, especially when it seems to happen so easily for others.

    I was exactly the same a few weeks ago. My dps cousin (who we are very close with) and his partner who just got married a few months ago announced they we're pregnant. They are both 10 Years older than my partner and me, got preggers the month after the wedding. And the baby is due the same week our last one would have been. I lost it too when I found out. It has nothing to do with not being happy for someone, it just magnifies your own pain i guess. I hate feeling that way, I hated that I got so upset over it. It sucks that weve put our wedding off for a bit to concentrate on the ivf and we just keep loosing one after another. At the time we found out about their baby I had a bfp, but then found out it was another chemical pregnancy.

    I'm so sorry you are feeling like this, it's awful. Sometimes I wonder how much we can take, we seem to get more than our share.

    The only advice I can give is just try to focus on yourself and your partner and keep telling yourself it will be your turn one day. And don't go to parties, baby showers or baby celebrations if it will upset you. Don't push yourself. Hope you feel better soon.

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