+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 40 FirstFirst 123412 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 398
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Hobart
    Posts
    183
    Thanks
    28
    Thanked
    17
    Reviews
    0
    Hi girls thanks for this thread I can also really relate to what has already been said, thought I was the only one feeling this way. I've pushed most of my friends away and don't talk about ivf with anyone and I don't socialise so I don't have to deal with things. We have been ttc for 10 years (ivf for 5 1/5) and everyone we know who was in a position to have a child/children have done so. As for the karma I've been thinking about that alot lately and been feeling sorry for myself something I haven't before. My first m/c was my worst. It was my 13 transfer, a thaw cycle and was so unexpected I hadn't even considered a m/c may happen after that I've prepared myself for each one.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,719
    Thanks
    386
    Thanked
    208
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi ladies...
    I'm feeling much like many posts on here I've just read :-/ it's sad so many of us feel like this!

    I've also started pulling away from family & friends... Long story short my bestie who took 1 week to conceive was 5 days ahead of me & I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks... When I've needed her the most she hasn't been there... We talked about it & she says she stopped asking how I was because I wasn't asking about her pregnancy - is she friggen serious?!?!?! Does she have any idea what it took and how hard it was to even get there... Just to lose it all! - no clearly not!!!! Argh
    Then proceeded to say she's worried I'm going to hate her & her baby if I don't get pregnant - WTF?!?
    I'm so frustrated by this.....

    She also announced on facebook tonight, I cried to dh, that that could have been us

    Anyway, had an FET & in the TWW & going literally crazy - never thought it was going to be this hard - I guess I have a lit ridding on this


    FIRST CYCLE FEB/MAR 2012
    IVF ICSI ANTAGONIST
    BFP - but sadly miscarried @ 6 weeks.....

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Far North Qld
    Posts
    567
    Thanks
    255
    Thanked
    186
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    my heart goes out to all you wonderful ladies, its sad in a way to take comfort in the fact that someone else knows the pain of this journey. I am glad we have a place to talk and air our feelings, I know i don't have an avenue in my mini universe, only here with no judgements or criticism.
    I'm just feeling morose because I know af is coming and that means our little one is really gone. My thighs, lower back and abdomen are getting painful so she shouldn't be too far away, unless mother nature has other tortureous plans for me. haha, knowing my luck this will drag on for days.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Far North Qld
    Posts
    567
    Thanks
    255
    Thanked
    186
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    oh dear, been waiting 45min for ambulance to come from closest town which I told them i needed to go to the next closest, well, they've just called to say they can't get through flooded creek 1km from my house, so have to wait another 1/2hr at least for unit to come from where I requested in the first place. It's been pouring for hours now
    This pain is unbearable and I've been throwing up so can't even keep panadol down. It'll all be over in a few days, talk to you all again in a day or 2.
    Take care!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    1,719
    Thanks
    386
    Thanked
    208
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Amps View Post
    oh dear, been waiting 45min for ambulance to come from closest town which I told them i needed to go to the next closest, well, they've just called to say they can't get through flooded creek 1km from my house, so have to wait another 1/2hr at least for unit to come from where I requested in the first place. It's been pouring for hours now
    This pain is unbearable and I've been throwing up so can't even keep panadol down. It'll all be over in a few days, talk to you all again in a day or 2.
    Take care!
    Oh my gosh love!! I hope you are okay!! It sounds horrible.... I'm lost for words... Can't believe you need an ambulance :'( take care, please let us know how you go! I'm worried about you...... Xxx


    FIRST CYCLE FEB/MAR 2012
    IVF ICSI ANTAGONIST
    BFP - but sadly miscarried @ 6 weeks.....

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    1,670
    Thanks
    1,520
    Thanked
    5,771
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Amps - so so sorry to hear that you are in pain.

    I can sort of relate to this as well. We started IV end of 2010 and still yet dont have a baby - have done 2 stim cycles including 3 FETs.

    We had a MC this time last year at 6 weeks - it was hard but I was pretty pragmatic about it. I was lucky in a way that I had no cramping and no ill health but the emotional side of things is difficult as well.

    We have been very careful about who we have told. We find it easier that way. All our family and most of our friends are back in NZ which sort of makes it easier. We have told only about 5 people over here.

    It is hard when FB announcements happen all the time. A friend announced yesterday and she is like 5 weeks exactly - like why would you that early???. I was like WTF!!! Unless you have been through a MC or chemical etc you dont understand the cautiousness, hesitation that comes with the territory.

    It is good that this thread has been started up.

  7. #17
    Zakmick's Avatar
    Zakmick is offline Can't change the past, but we can learn from it to make us stronger and move forward!
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,266
    Thanks
    268
    Thanked
    222
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Amps I hope the ambulance has got to you, I was in excruciating pain with my mmc after a d&c June last year. FS didnt get all the clots so I still endured the mc. It was hell. It was like a contraction every few minutes. Then i had an infection on top of it.

    Never have I felt pain like that before, I was so scared I was going to go through it again with this d&c (9wk mmc) that I asked for strong painkillers - I have been on endone since yesterday. But what I'm experiencing this time is nothing.

    The mc is hard physically but it is so hard emotionally too...

    Heat packs helped minimally while DH got me to the specialist,(we were very close to calling an ambulance too but FS agreed to see us after hrs at the clinic -11pm at night) and then I was given lots of drugs.

    Wouldn't bother with the Panadol at the moment it would do nothing... Hopefully the ambulance is with you and they have given you something to control the pain..

    Xxx
    Last edited by Zakmick; 25-05-2012 at 07:53.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    814
    Thanks
    43
    Thanked
    172
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Amps, hope you're okay? Didn't realize you're in so much pain. Did the ambulance make it?

    We haven't told anyone. I went to see a councilor once at the IVF clinic after this failed BFN. She was surprised and interested as to why. At first it wasn't a big deal we thought it would happen soon and we can move passed this but it hasn't. Here are our reasons:
    1) people don't understand IVF just like I didn't when we started this journey and they won't unless they experience it especially if they are very fertile.
    2) don't want people to see our baby as an IVF baby. Heard comments like 'they are pregnant 'through IVF'', like they couldn't do it themselves.
    3) if we ever get our BFP we want to put this nightmare behind us and never think about what we've been through.
    4) yes I'd love to tell mum or someone but through conversation it can easily leak out.
    5) scared to be sorry after I tell.
    6) can't deal with questions after the 2ww 'are you pregnant' while I'm having a breakdown.

    I have recently removed all apps that access FB for self preservation, all there is are pics of friends pregnancies and babies. It's hard and after out last BFN I felt like telling mum but after a few days gone I don't feel like saying anything anymore. It's hard, for those that receive their BFP first go it's a great journey but those that don't it's a nightmare but we need to be grateful this science is available to us.
    Last edited by Rachael3; 25-05-2012 at 07:39.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    498
    Thanks
    171
    Thanked
    122
    Reviews
    0
    Amps I hope that the ambulance has arrived, sending you lots of love xoxox

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    133
    Thanks
    154
    Thanked
    42
    Reviews
    0
    Given that so many of you are finding the emotional side of this journey so difficult, are you doing any counselling? and do you find it helps?

    I feel a little different in this regard. I don't know if this is because of the experiences I had being around a long-time IVF patient (and therefore making some promises to myself at the start of the TTC journey, so about 5 years ago now) or because I have dealt with depression in the past (not related to TTC).

    I know that with respect to the depression (work related), seeing a psychologist really helped me to put some perspective on things (supported by medicare), validated what I was feeling and what I could do deal with it (such as not taking responsibility for things that are out of my control). Having someone to talk to, who would ask some very self-challenging questions and do some exercises... all of which helped me to find perspective and empowerment. Therapy is hard... you feel worse before you feel better (re self-challenging questions). Anyway, this is the reason I have a black dog as an avatar, he is a constant reminder to never, ever go back to that place.

    The long-term IVF patient - you'd have to walk on egg shells around her... the topic of pregnancy and birth were totally off the table. You couldn't mention someone else's good news at all, without her totally withdrawing from the conversation... and then that made everyone else feel bad for being happy for the new mother (to-be). It was really hard to be around her and you would end up having to make decisions about inviting her to events or not, depending on the pregnancy status of everyone else. I told myself that I would never be like that...that doesn't mean I don't get that twinge or pang, but it's only a moment and I deliberately focus on the miracle of my friend/family and celebrate it with them. I think we know more than they do just how lucky they are. BTW, she has a DS now.

    The one and only time I did let it get to me, for longer than I would normally allow, was when I confirmed my BFN from the first cycle and received a postcard from my girlfriend in the US announcing her pregnancy of her second on the same day.... but I was on the email the next day and genuinely very excited for her...she's one of my best friend's and I love her like a sister, how can I not be?!



    Anyway... good news for me - AF arrived this morning, so another hurdle down to moving forward for me.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to minxyq For This Useful Post:

    KandP  (25-05-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Chem free deodorant
    By peasmum in forum General Health
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 14-09-2012, 17:03
  2. Chem Pregnancy- how did it affect your following cycles?
    By rosengold111 in forum Conception & Fertility General Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 27-07-2012, 16:12

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
WaterWipes
Give your babies bottom a gift this Xmas! They are the only wipe made using just water and a drop of grapefruit seed extract and may help avoid nappy rash. Check out the great reviews on bubhub and see our website for more info and availability.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
SRC Pregnancy & Recovery Shorts
Want pain relief during pregnancy, and to continue working and exercising? Fancy a speedy recovery after childbirth? Want to regain your pre-baby body shape fast? Recommended by healthcare professionals, SRC compression products will let your body do its most important work.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!