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  1. #171
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    got my BFP today lets hope we get a heartbeat this time. numbers are higher, 661 compared to 197 same time last time, so heres hoping

    good luck girls

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    Zakmick  (15-07-2012)

  3. #172
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    Congrats amysan- that's awesome numbers. xxx

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    Amysan  (14-07-2012)

  5. #173
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    Fort the insensitivity of people still manages to take my breath away on occasion and this is one of them. My deepest sympathies and a cyber hug.
    Amysan congratulations! I haven't had the experience myself but I imagine higher numbers definitely give you more security.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Net3811 For This Useful Post:

    Amysan  (15-07-2012),Fortitude  (14-07-2012)

  7. #174
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    monument.jpg

    Made me sad to think of all the lost children.

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    Zakmick  (16-07-2012)

  9. #175
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    Default Jumping in to vent

    Hi, I have just spent most of my morning laying in bed reading this thread crying...I have been TTC for awhile now, gone through 3 fresh transfers & 3 frozen. I recently changed specialists after first specialist wouldn't change things up or investigate after 4 failed transfers why I wasn't getting pregnant apart from 2 implant (very low hcg of 20). Had high hopes with my new specialist who is much more approachable & looked into testing for Nk cells ( which I had extra high levels in uterine biopsy), he put me on Bondi Protocol which I started in May on a fresh cycle 20mg prednisolone, clexane, pessaries etc it implanted but hcg levels were only 27 so they told me to stop all meds as it wasnt a viable pregnancy. I was ok after that & just jumped straight back in. Did FET natural cycle end of June & Dr upped my meds with an increase of steroids went from 20mg of prednisolone up to 40mg (as I didnt have any side affects from the steroids) as well as clexane & pessaries. Last Monday had my BT & was told I was pregnant - Hcg 190 I was sooooo happy my 6th go & It finally worked, this was my time, I was going to be a mum, worked out due date would be March even started looking throught baby sites for furniture packs etc ( stupid girl)...We decided not to tell anyone until after the 6 week scan as its so hard telling people when things don't go so well as we learnt in the past...anyway had second BT yesterday and knew something wasn't right when they didn't call, they must put off all the bad news calls to later in the arvo, I was at work it was 4pm & I hadn't heard from them so I called & they told me it wasn't good news, my levels had dropped from 190 to 170 over the past week....I broke down I had to leave work & the train ride home was the worst. I kept wondering what had I done wrong, was it the yoga class I went to on Saturday, was it the dog poo I had cleaned up in our yard from our 2 beloved pups, was it the tiny glass of wine I had at dinner on Thurs??? All these thoughts are consuming my brain....I hate life at the moment & I am usually so positive, I couldn't go to work today which I feel guilty about but I really thought it was my time....I really thought this was it, I want it sooooo bad. I just keep asking myself why & will it ever happen....I hate this journey, why does it have to be sooo hard. Still have the home preg test which I took leading up to both blood tests which show dark strong lines...just wish it was true, they want me to stop all clexane & pessaries which I guess I should but I also have to go in next week for another BT & there is still some glimmer of hope that my levels will go back up, I know this is highly unlikely & I just need to face the reality...
    sorry but I just really needed to write & vent. I m sure I will be ok in a few days & I guess I'll be trying again.

    Me - 34(elevated NK cells)
    DH - 31 (azoospermia)
    Last edited by kiwi77; 17-07-2012 at 09:20.

  10. #176
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    Kiwi- I am Literally crying for you honey. I really understand the pain- it is excruciating. It must have been so hard after having a chemical before with low numbers (like I had) then to have high numbers this time you must have felt so confident and relieved.
    Why on top of infertility does life throw us chemical pregnancy? It is like a cruel tease at your dream. For me it was like finding the "golden ticket" then having it crumble in my hands and blow away in the wind. I felt like screaming.

    HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGS to you.
    (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

    Be very kind to yourself, buy some pity party treats and cry when you need to.

    xoxox
    Fortitude

  11. #177
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    Hi Ladies
    Kiwi - I am so sorry I couldn't read this without tearing up myself.
    Fortitude - My SIL just gave birth I am happy for her,but Mum I do not want to go shopping for baby gifts with you for them. I will buy a peice of jewellery (bracelet) for her becasue i can't stand going to the baby section in Myer or to a baby/child boutique right now. My other SIL is also pregnant. Sigh Its hard. Hang in there. I am sorry you had to find out on FB.

    AFM... I have been pretty quiet on the boards after our early m/c in June. I have realised I am not so strong right now, despit previous m/c (in 2001, 2003, 2004) this one just about derailed me emotionally in comparison.

    I am starting a Double FET Medicated this month AF arrived 10 days late this past Friday and started Progynova, my scan is on the 24th July. We are hoping that all 3 thaw grow them out to Day 5 and put the best 2 back in me and re freeze the third.

    My last FET was a failure my only 2 frosties did not survive thaw both arrested together. So I feel very on edge nervous anxious scared mostly too.

    Goodluck everyone

    .

  12. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bellavista View Post
    I have realised I am not so strong right now, despit previous m/c (in 2001, 2003, 2004) this one just about derailed me emotionally in comparison. I know what you mean- if I were younger I would rather wait but due to my age I literally cannot afford to wait. I still have the odd cry.

    re freeze the third. RE FREEZW!!!!! I didn't know they could do that!!!

    My last FET was a failure my only 2 frosties did not survive thaw both arrested together. I hope my 1 and only frosty defrosts and does everything it's meant to.
    So I feel very on edge nervous anxious scared mostly too. I know what you mean, I am very distant this time- I am not engaging in this cycle emotionally. I just can't face the disappointment so I have basically written this cycle off as a waste of time.
    Your FET isn't far off mine- I am hoping to tranfer this Sun/Mon.

  13. #179
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    Fortitude

    I feel so similar to you. I can't engage in it becasue i don't think i really believe our 3 embryos will survive thaw...

    I feel the same if its this darn difficult at 34 for me I can't take a year off it will be harder again.

    I think my if we get there transfer will be around Monday or Tuesday the 30th or 31st July. Being Medicated they are sjust going to wait til its perfect I really don't want transfer on the Friday 27th as its very difficult for me to have that day off work... SIGH

    Good luck Fortitude.

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    Fortitude  (17-07-2012)

  15. #180
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    Disney Baby is offline <--- That's my baby at 8 cells old <3 Ahh the perks of IVF =D
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    I'm so glad that I decided to come back to BH and came across this thread.

    I got a BFP on my first IVF cycle, but lost it early on. My HCG was not doubling as it should. It was the first ever BFP that I had gotten and I was so over the moon and felt so blessed that it happened on our first attempt. Looking back now, I should have known it was too good to be true.

    I had to see a new FS after that cycle because my previous one left the clinic. My new FS seemed awesome on my first visit so I had to worries that things wouldn't work out again.
    I did my first medicated FET with her which was a straight out BFN. I only had 1 frosty left so I decided to do another fresh cycle. I got more eggs that time (12 as opposed to 5 the first time) but only 3 made it to day 5 in the end.
    I was so positive that a fresh day 5 would work, but no, another flat out BFN.

    I just got my confirmed BFN yesterday from my latest FET, and what a rollercoaster! I am usually on day 2 or 3 by test date, but this time around AF still hadn't arrived. I took pregnyl this cycle for progesterone support which obviously worked a treat. My HCG on test day (which was 1 day early) was 12 and prog was 60. The nurse and myself both thought it would have just been the pregnyl, but when I told her I stopped taking it a week ago because I could feel AF coming (yeah I know...stupid!) she thought it could have been a late implanter and I was told to use Crinone and come back on Monday (4 days later) for another BT. Well the 4 days went passed and I still had no AF, but a faint +HPT. Deep down I think I knew it was pregnyl, but because it was so different this time to the others, I just had slight hope. Well, that hope came crashing down yesterday when I was told my HCG went to 2. I knew it was coming, but it still really hurts.

    Now I only have 2 frozen embies left, and if this cycle doesn't work I need to decide to keep seeing this FS who I have a 'off' feeling about for no real reason, or see another doctor who isn't available until Nov/Dec.


    I know 4 cycles isn't much compared to some, but I never thought I would still be trying after 4 cycles and it is making me start to think that it will never happen


 

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