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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sariele View Post
    Virginity is overrated IMO. When I finally lost it at the ripe old age of 21, I was like, "wow, that was so not a big deal and I don't know why society makes a big deal over it!". It wasn't like I'd been holding out though, I just had never been in a relationship that went that far before. However, as a result of having to wait that long, I'd built up all these feelings of nervousness and anticipation, and it was a complete disappointment that it wasn't life-changing and I felt no different afterwards.
    This. I was 20 and same thing



    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    My virginity was definitely no gift. The memory of the first time involves pain and awkwardness and disappointment for me. I do find it a totally weird idea that an unused vagina is considered so special when in reality it takes time and practice for girls or women to really enjoy sex.
    And this. It took about 7-8 times before it felt good and took more times before the big O. Now, years later, it is awesome. Lol. If the first time felt as good as it does now then I would think it was special.

    Just my opinion, I think it's important to be sexually compatible with someone before deciding to spend your life with them. You wont know this if you dont have sex before marriage. Similar to living with someone. It's really important (again in my opinion) to know you can live with someone before you decide to marry them. But each to their own. It's ok if you don't agree with me. Just saying what's important to me before I decide to marry someone. And yes I married someone who I am compatible with in more ways than 1.

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  3. #22
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I wholeheartedly agree that virginity is overrated.

    I have a friend who was devastated following the loss of her virginity, because it wasn't all that it cracked up to be. It's made out to be a huge deal in our society.

    I understand that it's special to some people, however I think there is too much emphasis placed on it.

    I will never forget my Grandmother saying "Don't lose your virginity to your husband, whatever you do" Wise old biddy

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    No.

    To suggest that virginity is a gift, to me, makes it sound like you are less special if you've been "touched," previously before you and your partner get together.

    Virginity is just something you have before you have sex. It doesn't make you special or better... it just makes you someone who hasn't had sex yet.

    ETA - I didn't bleed my first time either. If that meant I had no hymen left over, I'd say I probably lost it to a bike years earlier...

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  6. #24
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    DH and I both waited until we were 19 to DTD {three years} and had never done it with anyone else.

    We both hold it as an important and proud part of our relationship. It's certainly made us closer; we learned together from point A and have nobody to compare to or be jealous of.

    I'll be encouraging DD to wait as long as possible because it was such a wonderful choice in my life.

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  8. #25
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    I think the question should be..

    is/was YOUR virginity a gift?

    as to speak for anyone elses is creepy and weird.

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    Gandalf  (24-05-2012)

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    Quote Originally Posted by BerylsMum View Post
    I think the question should be..

    is/was YOUR virginity a gift?

    as to speak for anyone elses is creepy and weird.
    Absolutely

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    Quote Originally Posted by mellsy View Post
    I dont see it as a gift either. Although I waited until I was in love to have sex for the first time. And I am lucky enough to have married my first real love and so have only ever slept with the one man. I didnt wait till I was in love to have sex so I was giving him a gift though, it was just that I didnt care enough about anyone before him to want to be as close to them as humanly possible
    Exactly the same experience as me.

    If I'd thought DH thought I was a score because I'd been untouched, rather than for who I am, I'd have ditched him quick smart. I didn't have a boyfriend really before him and he has said that he liked that I didn't really come with relationship baggage (just every other type ), but it certainly wasn't a deciding factor, just a nice bonus.

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    The gift where you get pain and maybe a bit of blood? Sounds wonderful.

    Virginity was talked up big time, made out to be this magical thing that would be romantic and all that. Yeah, so wasn't.

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    If people view it as a gift that's up to them. If they want to 'give of themselves' to only one person ever then I wouldn't think anything of them. Just because someone uses that word does not mean they are objectifying anything. They might see making love as a gift between 2 people only. It's not for everyone, it's not meant to be for everyone, but it's not wrong, and no more weird than someone who doesn't think twice about it. *shrug* her body, her life, her choice. I just hope it isn't taken from her, because once it is, you never get it back, as far too many members know.

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    yes, it was a gift to myself that i didn't just shag any and all boys who came around.

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