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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I don't think it's as black and white as saying that calling it a gift makes it a commodity.

    There are many things that I would consider a gift to (or from) my husband, none of which are a commodity.

    I think that we may be arguing semantics, to a point. Everyone seems to be agreeing that it is not a commodity, and should not be bought or sold. Also that considering something special and just for one person is a valid individual choice too.

    The only thing people are disagreeing on is the choice of the word.

    I'm a bit of a romantic, so I consider all kinds of things to be gifts... But I don't mean they are literally a thing that is exchanged or given away. E.g., if someone chooses to sacrifice something for another person - that could be considered a gift. But they might not sell it, and the other person may not have expected or asked for it. It may just be that the person in question wants that person to have that thing. Even if it's not a thing.
    Very wise words there!

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  3. #92
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    When people say they 'lost' their virginity or 'gave' their virginity to so and so, it can also imply that it's a 'gift' to be given.
    I don't like the idea of losing or giving and it's certainly not a gift. To say you lost your virginity or gave it to someone means, well, that you've lost some part of you, or your sexuality, that someone owns something that was yours. What is virginity that can be given away?
    I didn't give or lose anything to anybody. My first sexual experience was with myself and I had many sexual encounters before actual penetration with a guy. So when did I lose my virginity? Is it even a thing?
    The idea of 'virginity' is lost to me, the idea of 'pureness' 'Virgins' aren't pure, sacred, special, clean. It just means you haven't had a wanted sexual experience yet whether its with yourself or another person. So maybe when someone says I 'lost my virginity' I'd rather they said 'I had my first sexual experience' Because then it means they actually did something not lose something.

  4. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    Because then it means they actually did something not lose something.
    I like that idea

  5. #94
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    I think it's really unfair to try to tell people how to think or feel or what words to use. If someone wants to say it was given to someone, shared with someone, saved for someone, then isn't that up to the individual? Mine was taken from me, and not one person has the right to say otherwise, but everyone has the right to view it how they please for them.

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  7. #95
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    Virginity a gift? I think the concept is creepy.....very very creepy.....

    It's a piece of skin right?

    When I hear people calling a women's virginity as a *sacred and special thing* (((vomit)))) all I actually hear is a patriachal society trying to control women, as they have always tried to do throughout history. The term deflowered and a billion others come to mind. All insinuating once a woman loses her sacred virginity she somehow becomes less pure. Lol people are pretty stupid....

    Btw I haven't read ANY responses so I am not targeting this at anyone. Just answering the OP.

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  9. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I think it's really unfair to try to tell people how to think or feel or what words to use. If someone wants to say it was given to someone, shared with someone, saved for someone, then isn't that up to the individual? Mine was taken from me, and not one person has the right to say otherwise, but everyone has the right to view it how they please for them.
    I think it's good to discuss. Mine was taken from me, too. It wasn't special. It was traumatic, I was hospitalised, had to take MAP... just horrendus. The thought of him taking a 'gift' is just offensive to me. He violated me, he didn't thieve a gift off me. It's my body, not a product to be 'given'.

    When I *actually* had consensual s3x for the first time, it didn't feel like a gift either. I don't like the concept but if others do, that's their choice. Just as long as they're not coerced into this 'gift giving' through manipulation such as s!ut shaming if you lose it, purity balls, etc.

  10. #97
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    You know, I think it might have been better if I sold my virginity as a commodity. Might have actually got something out of it ($$$) that way. lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sariele View Post
    OT, but you know what? I just realised I actually can't remember. I know the date (cause it was an Australia Day), and I know where and who with (my first serious boyfriend at his place), but I can't remember anything more than that. And I wasn't even intoxicated! That's how memorable the experience was..
    Me too, it was quite lousy. I remember things surrounding it... but can't remember much more than jabbing the "heel" of my palm into his hips and pushing him away cos it hurt (that makes it sound liek rape, it wasn't, just a reaction to pain).

  11. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think it's good to discuss. Mine was taken from me, too. It wasn't special. It was traumatic, I was hospitalised, had to take MAP... just horrendus. The thought of him taking a 'gift' is just offensive to me. He violated me, he didn't thieve a gift off me. It's my body, not a product to be 'given'.

    When I *actually* had consensual s3x for the first time, it didn't feel like a gift either. I don't like the concept but if others do, that's their choice. Just as long as they're not coerced into this 'gift giving' through manipulation such as s!ut shaming if you lose it, purity balls, etc.
    Yep I feel the same as you, but I don't think it's wrong of other people to see it in any other way.

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  13. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    You know, I think it might have been better if I sold my virginity as a commodity. Might have actually got something out of it ($$$) that way. lol.
    I got something out of it, personally. He wasn't my endless love. He wasn't someone that I think of more than once every 12 months or so. But I loved him, and what I gave to him, I gave because it was all I could give of myself. I probably would have done the same for each of the men I've loved. He was just lucky to be the first .

  14. #100
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    I've never called it a gift, and both DH had been with people previously, but decided to wait until wedding night for each other. Part of our faith (and very difficult to wait), but we were very pleased we had.


 

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