+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default playgroup - 2 year old bully

    My 2.5 year old goes to a local playgroup, full of kids between 2 and 3, the parents and children are all lovely except for one 2 year old. He goes around pushing other kids over and pulling on their hair, until they cry.

    My little one is just starting to put sentences together and I was surprised the day before playgroup that she was able to communicate to me that she remembered the naughty boys name and that he had pushed her over last time. I was quite happy about her improving communication and memory skills but pretty ticked off that one of her first sentences was about a bully.

    When the mother of the naughty boy tells him to stop, the 2 year old just ignores her, maybe stops it for a little but then starts up again. If I catch one of my kids doing something like that I make sure they understand that they should never do that again. I get my kids to look me in the eyes and I tell them in a very firm way to stop. As long as my little ones have a concerned look on their face, I know they are a least trying to understand. No such thing happens with this kid.

    So after a long ramble my question is what do you think I should do in this situation? I have many ideas, but I dont know if they are over the top or not, so I wanted to get other parents thoughts, to make sure Im not branded the crazy old man at playgroup.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Springwood QLD
    Posts
    82
    Thanks
    92
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0
    From the mother of a 2.5 yr old boy who you would class aa a 'bully' you have to remember that a Mother can tell her child as many times and as in many ways to stop their behaviour and you can think they listen but 2mins later they are up to no good again.
    Id give this mothera break. She would already feel bad enough about her son terrorising all the other kids and you did say she tells him not to do it. WHat more could she do? The weekly playgroup is probably her escape to have some adult communication also and i take my hat off to her to keep going every week even tho her child is a 'bully'. It certainly makes me not want to go when my child is naughy.
    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to 86cin For This Useful Post:

    breakthemould  (24-05-2012)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    679
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked
    159
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Tbh there isn't a whole lot you can do other than monitor it so your child isn't hurt by the boy. My DS is, unfortunately, the 2yr old bully (not your particulate bully - we stopped going to playgroup months ago because of his behaviour!). There is nothing aside from my son not going to playgroup that stops him misbehaving there. Its very embarrassing for parents of agri

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    679
    Thanks
    199
    Thanked
    159
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Whoops! Embarrassing for parents of aggro kids particularly when they have tried everything to stop it. I think that you can only give your child tools to deal with it (ie STOP, I don't like it!, you can intervene and say to the bully to play nicely - I never had a problem with other parents gently chastising DS, teach your child to walk away or even not to play with that boy if he can't play nicely.)

    Its difficult, good luck

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

  6. #5
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    I suppose the frustrating thing for me is, it looks to me as though there is more that she could do i.e. get down to his level make him look her in the eyes, and keep on talking strongly until he has a concerned look on his face to show that he understands that he should stop. or maybe have a naughty corner? I am wanting to do these things, but Im concerned that that crosses the line. Doing nothing at all is surely not the answer

  7. #6
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Its a small room and there is unfortunately nowhere for anyone to escape. I understand what you are saying about gently chastising, and I have done this before to other children with no hesitation, and its worked well. but this little kid doesnt respond to gentle chastising.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    178
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    74
    Reviews
    0
    Confront the mother and explain that the other children are uncomfortable and perhaps if she's not willing to keep her child behavior in check she would be better off not coming !

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    428
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked
    132
    Reviews
    0
    So what do you think you shoud do? It sounds like her parenting skills may not be to your liking and you think you should step in? Could get yourself a world of trouble if you try that, imo....most people don't like being told their child is a bully and the thing is, most of the time, it's simply a stage. Most 2 year olds go through this stage and it does sound as if she is trying to guide her little one in the right direction. If that's not really the case, all you can hope is she's picking up a few tips watching the other parents?

    It's a tough one, for sure, if your child is on the receiving end of it, but just remember next week the tables might be turned.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Home, where my life lies waiting, silently, for me.
    Posts
    8,990
    Thanks
    3,308
    Thanked
    1,659
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    we have a boy who is similar (not yet 2yo) but his mother is on top of it, and reminds him that we are gentle with people. if he continues she will remove hime to 'time out' or if it continues take him home.
    our kids have been taught to say 'stop, i dont like that' when he is rough.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,276
    Thanks
    3,697
    Thanked
    3,090
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Do you have a playgroup committee? If problems are happening with your son, then they are probably happening with other children too. It may sound a bit better if one (or more) of your playgroup committee people could have a quiet word with the mother in question.

    I wouldn't approach her directly, as she may not respond well to being given advice like that - I think it would be a sore point for a lot of people.

    If DD is ever around kids like that, I usually keep a very watchful eye over her and the kid in question, and am ready to jump in if the kid attacks! I usually do say something to the (aggressive) kid IF the parent is not around, or is not doing anything. On those occasions I'd get down to the kid's level and say something in quite a clear/ firm voice (usually loud enough so the parent can hear) - e.g., "No. We do not bite people/ hit people, etc." And then I move DD away.

    It's a pain if you're having to do that all the time, but if the kid is a problem then it may be worth chatting to other parents/ playgroup committee, as then you can all be looking out for everyone's kids.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-07-2012, 14:58
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 14-05-2012, 17:00
  3. My 2 yr old the bully
    By breakthemould in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 09-12-2011, 14:09

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
LCF Fun Languages Australia
We offer foreign language lessons for children 2-12 yrs in French, Spanish, Mandarin, Italian or German as after-school and preschool clubs or private language tuition. This is play-based, full immersion language learning with proven results!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!