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  1. #1
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    Default Older child at the birth. Yes or no?

    Ok so I have a very mature 7 year old from a previous relationship who is very excited about having a little brother (not aloud to be a sister apparently as her dad has a daughter lol)
    i want to keep her involved with this new life and would loveit if she could forever remember her sibling coming into the world.
    What are people's thoughts on older children in the delivery room?

  2. #2
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    why isnt she aloud to be a sister?

    i wouldnt have anyone apart from dp in the room if i had nat (i had 2 prev csections) just for the fact ild be stressing lol

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    Personally I say no. What if something happened? What if you had a long labor and your 7 yr old is missing sleep for the birth. What if she just didn't cope and started freaking out mid birth? Sure I'd have her there through labor and bring her in before they cut the cord but that space in between is a scary place for grown ups let alone a 7 year old and at that age I think a few more years wouldn't hurt before seeing the business end of things.

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    I was there for the birth of my brother when I was ten. I thought the experience was amazing. I had the first cuddle, and I got to go with the nurse to count his fingers and toes. They are really precious memories for me. However, i left the room right before the actual birth. It was too much for me to see my mum in that much pain. Although I understood the process, the reality as a child seeing your mum was a bit much.

    I would do as a PP said and bring her in for some of the labour and then as soon as bubs is born. She will then get to experience it without the bad stuff!

    Oh, and my mum said lots of naughty words which I am sure she wasn't planning on me hearing! Lol

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    Personally I think 7 is too young. I would imagine it could be quite scary and confronting for a child to see their mum give birth. At that age I doubt they can really process what's going on and be able to appreciate why the pain and mum's behaviour is ok. It might be ok if everything went perfectly but if you have a bad bleed or something doesn't go to plan it could be quite traumatic for her.

    I think having her come in just after the birth is a good idea, she can help with all the care in those early days like the first bath and things like that.

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    I think it's a natural part of life.. Go for it!

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    I was 8 when I went to watch my mum give birth to my brother and it was scary for me. My older sister was 10 and didn't want to leave. My eldest sister was 13 and didn't want a bar of it. Mum didn't scream or anything just moans I saw the crowning then freaked and left and came back after she had past his shoulders. Still a memorable experience

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    I had my 3&4 year old at DDs birth, they coped just fine DS1 decided I was bring a bit loud and went back and forth from the lounge room to the room I was birthing in, he actually missed the birth itself, DS2 was there the whole time sitting in DFs lap talking about what was happening and helping DF fetch more hot water he describes the birth quiet well "mummy was yelling really loudly, her bagina had to get big so DD could come out, mummy had to push like she was doing a big poo, DD came out and went pachow into the pool. He was very interested in the placenta too

    I really think if your going to go to the hospy then you need to give your child a support person who can take them from the room if needed (I'm not sure I would want my children to watch some of the interventions I have seen). I think it requires a bit of prep work, talk about normal birth and get them to watch a few you tube clips, if you look at homebirth ones or freebirth ones they generally won't have much intervention..from experience hospital ones usually are american and they do a lot more interventions that arent really standard in our hospitals.

    I watched my mother birth my half brother when I was 13 and I thought it was the best

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    Yes!!!!! I lean heavily in this direction but I have very straight forward labours. My 3 children (6, 3, 20 months) will be at my labour in August. I want them to be apart of it all! :-)
    What an amazing life lesson!!
    It's just good to have a back up plan! :-)

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    If I have anymore children my dd would be at least 9/10 so I'd be happy with her being with me during labour. She would have been an only child up until then so my idea is that it would maybe help the transition process if she was involved in seeing her sibling come into this world. That's a good idea for the children to have there own support person I really like the idea of her having the first cuddle and helping the nurses/midwifes weigh, count finger and toes, measure length etc. maybe she could have a camera to take her own photos as well it depends on how mature your child is and if you think they would enjoy it and be able to handle it. I've always been honest with dd even when she first asked at about 2 about how babies are born.


 

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