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  1. #311
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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleCrane View Post
    New to the forum but am feeling not so alone after reading some of the things people have side to everyone regarding IVF. I have had most of these said to me at one point or another.

    The two newest and most recent are:

    1. It's unnatural to pump your body with those drugs. You should just go for a holiday somewhere and I'm sure you'll get pregnant. (this from a co-worker).

    2. There's a greater purpose for you than having kids. (same co-worker as above)

    3. Trust me, you're lucky you don't have kids. You can't do whatever you want to do. (again, same co-worker).

    4. Are you sure you want kids? Late nights with the baby, not getting enough sleep and they're a lot of work. (again, same co-worker).

    I've just learned to filter them out these days.
    I hope you slapped that coworker or at least put some garlic in their coffee.

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    Starfish30  (27-09-2014)

  3. #312
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    Thanks ScubaGal, that is some really good advice. I think I will take it on board and choose a few select people that I can talk to about it. I had lunch with a friend who went through IVF herself and was finally successful after a number of years. And we spoke about it all and that was nice to be able to share it with someone. She also advised me not to tell my boss as this lady found out when my friend was going through IVF and told everyone. She had colleagues coming up to her saying "ooh how exciting" and was like "what is?" Gee this stuff brings out a whole new class of etiquette doesn't it...

    Little Crane, that coworker sounds toxic! How rude and insensitive. I would have felt like punching them in the throat by now...

    And Bongley, I think people are just sometime incapable of putting themselves in someone else's shows and being empathetic.

  4. #313
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    Quote Originally Posted by emily3011 View Post
    Thanks ScubaGal, that is some really good advice. I think I will take it on board and choose a few select people that I can talk to about it. I had lunch with a friend who went through IVF herself and was finally successful after a number of years. And we spoke about it all and that was nice to be able to share it with someone. She also advised me not to tell my boss as this lady found out when my friend was going through IVF and told everyone. She had colleagues coming up to her saying "ooh how exciting" and was like "what is?" Gee this stuff brings out a whole new class of etiquette doesn't it...

    Little Crane, that coworker sounds toxic! How rude and insensitive. I would have felt like punching them in the throat by now...

    And Bongley, I think people are just sometime incapable of putting themselves in someone else's shows and being empathetic.
    Yeah it also helps if you give people a bit of guidance when you tell them - for example you can let them know that you'd like to be able to update them when you feel its right but its easier on you if they don't ask where you are up to - that way its in your control. You don't want to have people asking you if you're pregnant two minutes after your embryo transfer (!) or at four weeks if you are planning to wait to announce at 12 weeks.

  5. #314
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    Scubagal this is very random but our babies are due the same day :-D :-D

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    ScubaGal  (17-09-2014)

  7. #315
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    Quote Originally Posted by stephgus View Post
    Scubagal this is very random but our babies are due the same day :-D :-D
    Woohoo due date buddies. Is yours an IVF bub as well? If so you should come and join us on the IVF due group: http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/f...une&highlight=

  8. #316
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    So I had a little whinge on facebook this morning about 5am starts being a real kick in the teeth (without mentioning that it's extra rough when getting up all night to pee and general queasiness and massive anxiety making an early start worse than usual) and a facebook friend says "don't have a kid then".

    Seriously? she's kid-shaming me?

    Yeah cos actually my life is just dandy as a high fallutin' career woman with no interest in kids...

    What's with having kids that makes you have to shame everyone else for not having them because your life is harder than anyone else's can possibly be?

    Doesn't it occur to people how hurtful stuff like that is and that maybe not having kids isn't by choice...

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    Possie7  (17-10-2015)

  10. #317
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    Your 'friend' sounds like a real *****. What's wrong with having a bit of a whinge anyway, we all do it. There's no need to make a retort like that of any kind.

    But to bring the whole kid thing - my only response is to roll my eyes. How predictable. Why do women have to make it a competition for gods sake? Why are they always comparing - if it's not kids vs no kids, it's one kid vs two or stay at home mum vs working mum. Really pathetic.

    Does this friend know you have been trying to have a baby or going through IVF? Cause then I'd be outright furious!

    My sympathies to you with a rough morning after a really rough night by the sounds of it xoxo

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    ScubaGal  (26-09-2014)

  12. #318
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    Quote Originally Posted by ScubaGal View Post
    So I had a little whinge on facebook this morning about 5am starts being a real kick in the teeth (without mentioning that it's extra rough when getting up all night to pee and general queasiness and massive anxiety making an early start worse than usual) and a facebook friend says "don't have a kid then".

    Seriously? she's kid-shaming me?

    Yeah cos actually my life is just dandy as a high fallutin' career woman with no interest in kids...

    What's with having kids that makes you have to shame everyone else for not having them because your life is harder than anyone else's can possibly be?

    Doesn't it occur to people how hurtful stuff like that is and that maybe not having kids isn't by choice...
    I can't stand people like that.
    Some people really need to think before they open their mouths before they speak.


    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    ScubaGal  (26-09-2014)

  14. #319
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    Thanks @emily3011 and @purpleflowers

  15. #320
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    ScubaGal, that is terrible that your friend said that. I've noticed people with kids do say stuff like that if you say even a small thing about feeling tired because of lack of sleep or having to rush around. I got a few similar comments this week when I was ranting about not having enough hours in the day to get everything done.

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    ScubaGal  (27-09-2014)


 

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