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  1. #1
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    Default Etiquette at weekly activites you & your child/ren attend

    Just out of curiosity...

    DS & I have attended for the past 3 months a craft group. The group's flier said it's an Intergenerational craft group ie small children are welcome as it's run at the local neighbourhood centre and there's a safe play area for kids but it's mostly for mums to sit down and do craft. Anyway when we joined there were a few kids the same age as DS (4-5 years); now they no longer attend as their family circumstances have changed.

    So to get to the nuts & bolts of the story; for the first 11 weeks we attended regularly but for 3 weeks in a row I've had other commitments to meet and next week will have commitments as well that mean either I can't attend or have had to leave early. The time this particular activity is on is the most convenient time of the week to arrange for appointments. I don't pay to attend the group; there is no enrolment or booking as such. Also DS gets totally bored & doesn't want to go as there's nothing for him to do and I don't think it's fair for him to sit in the corner on his own for 2 hours while I sit around and chat with the other adults- we don't get a lot of 'fun time' together and this activity eats into that time we have together.

    Anyway the lady who runs the group keeps messaging me insisting on knowing where I've been; why didn't I show up/ eft early and will I be there next week. To be honest some of the arrangements were last minute stuff like DS having a Drs appointment 30 mins before the start time that unintentionally ended up running an hour into the craft group.

    So my Q is should I give a detailed rundown of my whereabouts? If at all? Is it just nice manners to give a short or brief 'sorry I couldn't make it I had an appointment'?

  2. #2
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    'sorry I couldn't make it I had an appointment' is all I would say.

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    If it's a free group, perhaps that's why she's wanting to know - because surely the items used have to be paid for somehow. Maybe they are donated, but donations may cease if the amount of people showing up lessens.

    Anyway, I'd just let her know that you're busy. If you aren't going to show, then message her beforehand saying, "Sorry I can't make it today! Hope you guys have fun!" or something. I think to not do otherwise is a bit rude.

    I wouldn't, however, let her think she can boss me into going or harass me wanting to know if I had a valid reason not to show up. I'd just say, "I was busy, sorry." If she continues to hound you, I'd let her know it's not on and that you're finding her behaviour inappropriate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by loving6 View Post
    'sorry I couldn't make it I had an appointment' is all I would say.
    Same

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    Agree with loving6... she doesn't need to know your personal business....

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    Probably should add here that she doesn't actually provide any craft activites it's BYO.

    But yes, thinking that a brief 'sorry I can't make it' beforehand might be the way to go.

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    when i read your post, my initial reaction was "why is she interrogating you? thats a bit intense!" but now im thinking i dont think she is being intentionally nosy, maybe she is looking for feedback and advice on how to improve the service.... maybe she thinks there is something wrong with the way she is running the group, maybe she feels a bit rejected as the families that were initially attending have now made other plans. I know its a free service and there is no obligation to attend, and its at a time thats not very convenient, but if she is looking for suggestions on what changes she could make, then maybe you could tell her what other activities she could have to make it more appealing to the 4-5 year olds, and what times would be better for your routines, etc ...

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    I believe the etiquette with any organised group activity is: out of courtesy, I would definitely let the organiser know in advance if you cannot make it or if you are going to be late, with a basic reason (such as 'medical appointment'). I would not leave it til after the event- it is too late then.

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    I'd probably let her know beforehand, just because it sounds like a volunteer run type of thing and I think it would be appreciated. But no I wouldn't go into details. I'd just send her a message and say 'we can't make it this week as I have an appointment etc'

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    id also let her know if you couldnt make it, purely out of courtesy, and with a generic 'see you next time!'


 

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