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  1. #81
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    Some cultures don't take on the husband's name.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bambibambino View Post
    I have kept my maiden name not because i dislike dh's but because I love my own. My dh couldn't care less, for us it is a totally antiquated concept, but each to their own. .
    I kept my own surname when I got married because I couldn't come up with any good reasons why I should change it. However, I could come up with plenty of good reasons why not to change it - one of the primary ones being the origin of that tradition (ie. women becoming the propoerty of men when they were married). I was surpised to discover that some of the men I work with (in a male dominated industry) were horrified - for some reason (which they were never able to clearly articulate) they were affronted by a woman choosing to retain her identity when she was wed. Fortunately, my husband is far more enlightened, and as far as he was concerned, I could call myself whatever I wanted - it wouldn't change the fact that we were married! I also offered for him to take my surname, but he was, likewise, happy to stick with the name he already felt comfortable with.

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    I think DP would prefer it if I took his name if we were to ever marry.

    Unfortunately for him, it's not his choice nor his name that would be changing... so he has no say.

    I'm also one of those horrible anti-traditionalist b*tches though who would crack the sh*ts if he ever asked my father's permission/blessing/whatever before asking me to marry him... and there's no way in hell I'd ever be "given away" at the end of an aisle either.

  4. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SassyMummy For This Useful Post:

    Gentoo  (19-05-2012),HarvestMoon  (19-05-2012),Witwicky  (19-05-2012)

  5. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I'm also one of those horrible anti-traditionalist b*tches though who would crack the sh*ts if he ever asked my father's permission/blessing/whatever before asking me to marry him... and there's no way in hell I'd ever be "given away" at the end of an aisle either.
    Likewise! When we got married, we arrived together and walked down the aisle together - we figured that the marriage was about the two of us, and that it should start that way, with both of us as equal partners.

    The whole "giving away" tradition originates from a woman being viewed as property, to be transferred from her father to her new husband.

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    I don't think I'd like to be a W*ore, Hore, D*ck or a Cox. (Sorry to those who may have those surnames). I think if they were any of the above names, I would have seriously considered keeping my maiden name or hyphenating.

    I had a beautiful maiden name, but I was very happy to take on my husband's surname when we married.

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    I had a ridiculously common maiden name. Because it is so common, I have never felt overly connected to it. Having said that, DHs surname (now also mine) is also pretty common and it did weird me out to become "mrs xx" because in my mind, that's my MIL!

    I could quite happily have never bothered to change my name, but it was important to DH. He didn't want to wear a wedding ring but it was important to me. So we did a deal

    I'm glad I took his name now that we have DD. I like that our little family have that in common. To acknowledge my family, DD's middle name comes from my side.

    If DHs name was something really weird or horrid, I would probably have conceded on the wedding ring!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkCherry View Post
    Anyway, back to the point. I would take my husband surname, yes. 110%! I wouldn't care if his surname was Jollydickpleaser. I'd take it lol
    *I* would marry your fiance if his name was really Jollydickpleaser.

  9. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Strong woman agenda? Baha. Do you realise that you are still a person without a male? An individual, no less. How ridiculous.
    Yup and I am still the same me no matter what my name is. A name doesn't define someone and to me if he is good enough to marry he is good enough to take his name.
    Last edited by Lovemyfam; 20-05-2012 at 04:40.

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    I've been married for nearly 2 years now and still get a little thrill seeing my new name. I love that hubby and I (plus our baby on the way) all have the same surname but I have to say my new surname is lovely and I get comments on how nice it is all the time :-).

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    Nope I wouldn't.

    All 3 kids have my surname... I have my mums surname (would have changed it to hers if she had given me my "fathers" surname).

    Hubby goes by my surname until we legally change his to mine... I didn't force him to take it, he didn't want his.

    I also told him that the kids would have mine.


 

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