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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    Yes I think it's a rather outdated theory yet as a society the tradition is still practiced. It's seen as 'the norm' when in fact many people probably don't think too much on WHY it is that way.

    It's also things like when you cut your wedding cake, the bride is meant to hold the knife with her new husband's hand on top of hers to 'guide her hand' as he will 'guide' her through all her decisions and actions in her new role as his wife.
    I didn't know about the surname thing, but i took DH's surname because it helps my DD identify as a family unit and when we have kids together it will be easier with forms etc. My DD and i have a different surname to each other and its so frustrating hearing Mrs *** everytime and having to explain to people she has a different surname to me.

    I don't mind that about the cake cutting though, DH and i are a team but there are times where he does help to guide me to the right path the same as i do for him.

  2. #52
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    I dated a guy whose surname was long.bottom. I told him I wouldn't take his name if we got married.

    I don't think that surname goes with anyone's first name

  3. #53
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    Agreed LOL. I was more trying to point out the meaning behind certain things. A traditional wedding is full of symbolic gestures of the woman's subservience to 'her man'.

    I'm not trying to say that if you cut your cake that way then you're a subservient, down trodden wife - merely pointing out the traditional symbolism behind the act.

  4. #54
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    I would.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    Do you guys understand the tradition of changing your name when you get married?

    When you are born, you are the 'property' of your father hence you carry his name. When you get married, you become the 'property' of your husband, hence you take his name.

    I'm not saying you are the property of anyone, just that this is the reason behind changing names.

    I'm separated from my husband and planning to divorce ASAP but I won't be changing my surname back to my maiden name. I want to have the same surname as my kids.

    I'm not sure what I'd do if I got married again - I don't think I WILL get married again but I'm not completely ruling it out.
    This is why I would never change my last name to my partners or even get married for that matter.
    I think both traditions are sexist and outdated.

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  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    If it's a respect thing, why do the majority of women take their husbands surname as opposed to the other way around? Would you ask your husband to take your surname, out of respect? I don't really understand what you are getting at.
    Who's surname do your children have? I think the answer as to why not the womans surname is somewhere in there.

  7. #57
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    I'd take it even if it sounded ridiculous.

    Part of marrying DH was taking on his name and I wouldn't keep my maiden name in any circumstance after marriage.

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    I dated a guy whose surname was long.bottom. I told him I wouldn't take his name if we got married.

    I don't think that surname goes with anyone's first name
    You mean aside from Neville? 😜

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    Id never take my fiance's surname, no matter what.

  11. #60
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    I took my husband's name and as it is from a NESB background I always have to spell it!

    BUT I did it because he asked me to and to him being a family is sharing a name.

    My daughter has her father's name ( my ex) as my ex father in law asked for that and as I respect him very much ( and still do) I was happy to do that for him.

    I simply don't care about my maiden name. I love my family, my dad and mum and my grandparents etc and I am proud of my ancestors but using or not using my name does not change that.


    I am not my name - I am me.

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    brooke88(mum2b09)  (19-05-2012)


 

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