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  1. #41
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    I love my maiden name, and love my family and was tempted to keep it when DH and I got married. But in the end having the same name as DD was more important to me, now I'm so glad I did change it

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    I still would yes. I'm a big believer in families having the same family name, even if we divorced my name would remain the same as my kids.
    This ^^^ I will be changing my name by deed pole and adding my maiden name as a middle name when my passport is due for renewal.

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    No I wouldn't.

    I got married, changed my name to his. We divorced 2 years ago. I am re partnered, we aren't going to get married (neither of us wants to).

    I mentioned to my children about changing my name back to my maiden name and my oldest burst into tears. So it is on hold for a while, until she is comfortable about it (she is nearly 8).

    I want to change it because people sometimes call me Mrs ***** and to me that is not me, it is my ex MIL and I have HUGE issues with her.

    I am not sure how you even go back to your maiden name. Any tips??

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    If I were to marry yes is take his name unless he'd ralf mine, but either way I'd always want to be the same ad my kids.

  5. #45
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    I respect my partner no more if I take his surname than if I don't.

    I respect myself as an individual with my own surname though... my identity needn't change when I get married. I've been XYZ for 26 years... why would I change it just because I got married?

    The "kid's surname" thing doesn't matter to me either, as every person living in this house has a different surname at the moment anyway. If I changed my surname to DP's, if we had kids together with that surname too, the only person living here with a different surname would be DD. I don't like that idea.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheerilee View Post
    I want to change it because people sometimes call me Mrs ***** and to me that is not me, it is my ex MIL and I have HUGE issues with her.

    I am not sure how you even go back to your maiden name. Any tips??
    My MIL doesn't have the same name as DH...yes!!!!

    You need to change it by deed poll.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    If it's a respect thing, why do the majority of women take their husbands surname as opposed to the other way around? Would you ask your husband to take your surname, out of respect? I don't really understand what you are getting at.
    My thoughts exactly.

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    HarvestMoon  (19-05-2012),Witwicky  (19-05-2012)

  9. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheerilee View Post
    I am not sure how you even go back to your maiden name. Any tips??
    I don't think you have to do anything other than take your marriage certificate into the bank, rta, medicare etc etc.

    I only got married 3.5years ago but I seem to remember being told that once you get married, you can legally go by either your maiden name or your husbands name or both if you like.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    Do you guys understand the tradition of changing your name when you get married?

    When you are born, you are the 'property' of your father hence you carry his name. When you get married, you become the 'property' of your husband, hence you take his name.

    I'm not saying you are the property of anyone, just that this is the reason behind changing names.

    I'm separated from my husband and planning to divorce ASAP but I won't be changing my surname back to my maiden name. I want to have the same surname as my kids.

    I'm not sure what I'd do if I got married again - I don't think I WILL get married again but I'm not completely ruling it out.
    good luck my DH thinking i'm his property.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cheerilee View Post

    I am not sure how you even go back to your maiden name. Any tips??
    My MIL got divorced the year that i met DH and last year she decided to change her name back to her maiden name. Most things she just became ''known as'' the maiden name, but for licence/bank/work etc she had to take in her marriage certificate and the thing she got when her divorce was finalised to change it back. A couple of things said she had to change her name the way you'd change your first name. Your best bet is to call the local courthouse and ask them (or births deaths and marriages).

  11. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by c2p08 View Post
    good luck my DH thinking i'm his property.
    Yes I think it's a rather outdated theory yet as a society the tradition is still practiced. It's seen as 'the norm' when in fact many people probably don't think too much on WHY it is that way.

    It's also things like when you cut your wedding cake, the bride is meant to hold the knife with her new husband's hand on top of hers to 'guide her hand' as he will 'guide' her through all her decisions and actions in her new role as his wife.


 

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