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  1. #111
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    And society has moved past that, feminism can sometimes make women feel like baggage just because they uphold a tradition not the tradition itself.
    Something can have a history but we change it's meaning in modern times, it doesn't make women weaker or less respected by their families.
    EXACTLY! Society has moved past that. Exactly.

    When there are comments like some of the ones in this thread, about sacrificing the female name in order to respect the male (!), then it kinda does put women at the bottom.

    We've moved past coverture.
    Last edited by Witwicky; 20-05-2012 at 14:16.

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  3. #112
    LifeInShadesOfGrey's Avatar
    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
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    My maiden name isn't a silly one, its actually a great one (Well to me anyway), it's not common and reasonably easy to spell. I just think it goes wlel with my name. DD has DP's surname, its what he wanted and I don't mind. His surname is a nice surname too, but its increadilbly short. *** short.

    DP's name would fit with my name if we got married but its not even on the cards. I love my maiden name and it doesn't phase me in the slightest I don't share DD's name.

  4. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by albear View Post
    After my ex and I separated I went back to my maiden name. I was in QLD and just took my birth certificate into the transport dept, explained the situation and got a new license with my maiden name. I then used that license to change my name everywhere else. This was before we were divorced. I'm now remarried and took my husband's last name.

    If it rhymed or made some unflattering name then I probably would have kept my maiden name. Hyphenating would not have been an option, our last names were very similar, only two letters difference.
    I was from New Zealand originally, so I ordered a NZ passport (in my maiden name). I then took that passport as ID to prove that I was currently using my maiden name to change it back in various institutions. Some places also required some ID with my married name on it, so I used my previous medicare card.

    Conversely when my aunt, who was originally born and married (taking her first husband's name) in New Zealand, then travelled to Australia, divorced, and remarried another man who wanted to take her maiden name, had a lot more difficulty. She had to change her name via deed poll prior (back to her maiden name) to her second marriage, then her second husband was able to take her maiden name as his married name. She told me the difficulty was that because she came into Australia with her married name, that was the only name she was known as in Australia.

    Also, when they went to a family function in New Zealand, a lot of the older family members were most disapproving of her (and her new husband) having her maiden name.
    Last edited by sweetseven; 20-05-2012 at 16:40.

  5. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    I like carrying on a family name. My husbands family name will die out if we dont have a son because his sisters boys have their dads name. I guess I jsut dont understand why people would want to keep a man from having kids to carry the name on. I love history, love looking up family history and its pretty hard to keep the line going if you dont stick with the name carrying. I just think it is offensive and rude if a man wants his kids to carry his name to tell him tough poo but thats just me I guess
    However if you have a daughter and give her your husband's name, and she in turn has a child that she chooses to give her surname to, it will not die out. This change is practices might enable your husband's family name to be passed on through your daughters.

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  7. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Oh dear.
    And I did take on my DH's surname and I agree with you completely!!

    I took on DH's surname when we got married because it was the surname our kids have, DH wanted me to take on his surname and I thought it would be nice to all share a surname. I wasn't overly attached with my surname so had no problems giving it up.
    Five years later and I still want my maiden name back but it would hurt DH so much so I won't do it, it means more to him to keep my married name than to change back to my maiden name but if something happens and DH and I don't end up growing old together like planned then I'm getting my maiden name back and never giving it up again.

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  9. #116
    Opinionated's Avatar
    Opinionated is offline Winner 2009 - Best Avatar
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    Nope..and I didn't. I didn't like my dh's surname with my first name. I also didn't like the fact that I would be Mrs. A. Surname, exactly the same as my mil who has the same first initial as me.

    I am not a big fan of giving up your surname when getting married anyway. I don't see why my identity had to change just because I comitted to my partner. It took me a long time to grow into my name as it was, not way I was changing it once I did. Also, my professional papers are in my maiden name so I am keeping everything the same.

    Dh considered taking my name but never got around to it.

  10. #117
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    This thread reminds me of an egagement notice we saw in The Herald Sun a couple of years ago. The bride and groom's surnames were Phelan & Hiscock.
    True story!!

  11. #118
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    In the case of DP and his family, they actually believe the children should have their mother's surname... after all, who is the child likely to be cared for by if the relationship were to break down?

    That said, DP is also the last option to carry on his family's surname. If he doesn't pass it on, it'll die out. For that reason, I am quite okay with any child we have together having his name. My family are breeders - I have a million cousins who each have several children... my surname isn't going to die out if I don't pass it along.

    I would suspect that most couples are grown up and respectful enough of each other to discuss this and then come to a decision that suits them both. If my name wasn't so extremely long on its own, I'd just hyphenate my children's names.

    You are no less of a family if you don't all share the same surname than you are any more of a family if you do.

  12. #119
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    To those that have kept their names, but their DH hasn't changed theirs.

    Do you have a collective name you're referenced as? We're known as the '*****s' in most of our circles.
    Not one couple/family unit in our circle of friends has a shared surname. So we all just refer to each other by first names, eg 'KateandCam' or 'DanandJess' as you would with any unmarried couples.

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

  13. #120
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    my dps last name is the same from a main characters from harry potter, so i dont know lol


 

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