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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Actually, (inheritance issues aside) the roots *are* about property and the act of transferring the woman from her father to her husband like a piece of baggage.

    The issue is that this patriarchal tradition remains - if your points ring true, males would change their name as well, but this doesn't happen a great deal. Majority of women give up their name and many are pressured to do so even if they don't want to.

    I also don't agree with women having specific titles to indicate whether they are married or not, but that's for another thread.
    If you word it like that then it makes it into poo. They had reasons for it, women didn't work and were supported by their fathers hence then becoming part of their husbands when they married. It would have been hard for a man to take the womans name in regards to work, business names etc and the men being visible in society and known by their surnames.
    When I say respect for tradition, it's not about what our ancestors did, it's about my parents, his parents, our families and our culture. There are parts of old tradition I like, like weddings, walking down an aisle, being given away, and parents and children having a common family name, that's me and how I was brought up and I respect that.
    I don't feel like property by doing any of those things and how you perceive women's roles in the past is irrelevant to how I view tradition today.

    To the pp, yes it's just a name, a very common family name that even has its own symbol from medieval times, why not mine instead of his then? Because we're traditionalists and it would have been disrespectful to his parents and family.

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  3. #102
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    To those that have kept their names, but their DH hasn't changed theirs.

    Do you have a collective name you're referenced as? We're known as the '*****s' in most of our circles.

  4. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    To those that have kept their names, but their DH hasn't changed theirs.

    Do you have a collective name you're referenced as? We're known as the '*****s' in most of our circles.
    We have merged our surnames as a joke kind of reference, which is what we are known by in our circle

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    Also accidental incest would be pretty rare if all children had Dad's name because if you found someone with your last name you might look into it.

    I like carrying on a family name. My husbands family name will die out if we dont have a son because his sisters boys have their dads name. I guess I jsut dont understand why people would want to keep a man from having kids to carry the name on. I love history, love looking up family history and its pretty hard to keep the line going if you dont stick with the name carrying. I just think it is offensive and rude if a man wants his kids to carry his name to tell him tough poo but thats just me I guess

  6. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    If you word it like that then it makes it into poo. They had reasons for it, women didn't work and were supported by their fathers hence then becoming part of their husbands when they married. It would have been hard for a man to take the womans name in regards to work, business names etc and the men being visible in society and known by their surnames.
    When I say respect for tradition, it's not about what our ancestors did, it's about my parents, his parents, our families and our culture. There are parts of old tradition I like, like weddings, walking down an aisle, being given away, and parents and children having a common family name, that's me and how I was brought up and I respect that.
    I don't feel like property by doing any of those things and how you perceive women's roles in the past is irrelevant to how I view tradition today.

    To the pp, yes it's just a name, a very common family name that even has its own symbol from medieval times, why not mine instead of his then? Because we're traditionalists and it would have been disrespectful to his parents and family.
    I think it's disrespectful to assume a woman would drop her name. It seems there is a whole lot of respecting happening for men and their family, never mind the women!

    Regarding the reasons....women didn't work because they often weren't allowed to. They didn't vote either or have the right to own property. Women were chattels without rights.

    It's called coverture and it's not that difficult to understand.
    Last edited by Witwicky; 20-05-2012 at 12:05.

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    Women didn't work because it was near impossible unless they had the means to hire someone to do everything they needed to do in the day.

    My grandmother says the washing machine was the greatest gift to feminism after the vote.

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    I took my husbands last name when we married because i believe that is the way it goes. I love love love my maiden name and would love to have kept it but to me taking my husbands name is showing how much he means to me. i know i might get slammed for that but it is just what i believe.

    Now my married name is me i can't see myself as my old name anymore. we have nothing to do with Dh's family and as much as i don't like having the same name as them i don't think about it like that. the way i see it i have hubbies last name not theirs

  9. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Also accidental incest would be pretty rare if all children had Dad's name because if you found someone with your last name you might look into it.

    I like carrying on a family name. My husbands family name will die out if we dont have a son because his sisters boys have their dads name. I guess I jsut dont understand why people would want to keep a man from having kids to carry the name on. I love history, love looking up family history and its pretty hard to keep the line going if you dont stick with the name carrying. I just think it is offensive and rude if a man wants his kids to carry his name to tell him tough poo but thats just me I guess
    Oh dear.

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    I took my Husbands last name, and would of even if it sounded silly with my first name (thankfully it sounds fine, but my initials are now AH which makes me giggle when I'm writing my initials on everything for work). I tend to be traditional though and was proud to be a Mrs.

    My husbands family name is also dying out somewhat and his father is very eager for us to have a son to keep it going for another generation (and hopefully more ). He was pretty upset about it all when we were having trouble conceiving and used to mention it a lot, which really didn't help . We don't know the sex of our Baby yet. Hubby wants a surprise but even if we have nothing but daughters I'm glad to know they may decide to keep their maiden names and keep the name alive if they wish to . Its lovely that they have that choice

  12. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    I think it's disrespectful to assume a woman would drop her name. It seems there is a whole lot of respecting happening for men and their family, never mind the women!

    Regarding the reasons....women didn't work because they often weren't allowed to. They didn't vote either or have the right to own property. Women were chattels without rights.

    It's called coverture and it's not that difficult to understand.
    And society has moved past that, feminism can sometimes make women feel like baggage just because they uphold a tradition not the tradition itself.
    Something can have a history but we change it's meaning in modern times, it doesn't make women weaker or less respected by their families.

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