+ Reply to Thread
Page 10 of 13 FirstFirst ... 89101112 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 127
  1. #91
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    South coast NSW
    Posts
    898
    Thanks
    38
    Thanked
    10
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    When I married I took my husbands name which I dislike we had two children and of course they had the same name. Fast forward we had been separated since 2004 and divorced 2008/9 I kept his surname as its my children's they hate it as well (they are 10 and 11) and on more than one occasion they have asked to change it to my maiden name as they are very close to my father (whereas their own father has avoided them like the plague but it's probably for the best as he is on drugs and it was a dv relationship) I have of course wanted to go back to my maiden name but I feel for the kids and I know for a fact as soon as they are old enough they will change it them self! I myself also don't want to keep changing my name as I've met someone and it might be serious however if we marry I'd have to take his name arrrgh!

  2. #92
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    5,630
    Thanks
    4,446
    Thanked
    3,495
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lovemyfam View Post
    Yup and I am still the same me no matter what my name is. A name doesn't define someone and to me if he is good enough to marry he is good enough to take his name.
    What I'm getting at, is that it's not about pushing a strong woman agenda - that comment doesn't make any sense. If I keep MY name, it's because it's mine. I'm not trying to prove a point or push an agenda. I'm just keeping *my* name.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Witwicky For This Useful Post:

    Benji  (20-05-2012)

  4. #93
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Wollongong
    Posts
    657
    Thanks
    151
    Thanked
    173
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by ashleerose View Post
    When I married I took my husbands name which I dislike we had two children and of course they had the same name. Fast forward we had been separated since 2004 and divorced 2008/9 I kept his surname as its my children's they hate it as well (they are 10 and 11) and on more than one occasion they have asked to change it to my maiden name as they are very close to my father (whereas their own father has avoided them like the plague but it's probably for the best as he is on drugs and it was a dv relationship) I have of course wanted to go back to my maiden name but I feel for the kids and I know for a fact as soon as they are old enough they will change it them self! I myself also don't want to keep changing my name as I've met someone and it might be serious however if we marry I'd have to take his name arrrgh!
    Just a word of warning, if they wait until their 18 to change it, they'll still be associated to that name and may not change it even if they want to because of the hassle. I wish my mum had changed mine when I was about 11-12, but she too said that I'd just do it myself. I now won't change it simply because I'd still be called Sam xxxxxx by everyone I know and its a huge pain to change all my ID and accounts etc. I figure marriage will do it for me eventually.

    Sent from my HTC Incredible S using BubHub

  5. #94
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    346
    Thanks
    130
    Thanked
    120
    Reviews
    2
    I'd take on my partner's surname if it was unbelievably freaking awesome, like Wolfsblood or Destructo. How could I not?

    His surname isn't that awesome, sadly, and I like my surname better than his so I'm keeping mine.

    DD has my partner's surname with mine as one of her middle names. I would have liked her to have mine but he's the stay-at-home parent who takes her to all of her appointments so we figured it would make things easier. Plus the given name we picked goes better with his surname than mine. Next baby, though, will be a WombatQueen!

  6. #95
    Guest Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    No, I was addressing your comment about the answer being in whose name your child has (I don't really see how that matters...).

    Anyway. My youngest has my surname, my eldest has DH's.

    I suppose I have little respect for the tradition, given its roots. Each to their own.
    Why I asked is because most people give their children the fathers surname yet don't take it for themselves. So in some ways they follow some type of tradition by doing that and I think it's easy to see why alot of women then choose to change their names also. The question wasn't just for you, it was more a general observation of what most people do, hence the respect part of the tradition (which was your initial question)

    I think the roots of taking on the males surname has alot more to do with than just 'property' It wasn't that simple.
    And regardless of that, alot of people still see a surname as a family name. When you get married your primary family is no longer your parents and siblings, it's your children and husband. So when you give your children their fathers name by following tradition, it's only natural to also have the same family name. To me, that's the purpose of a surname and probably why alot of women choose to change it no matter what it sounds like. Not everyone feels defined by their surname or feels like property by changing it so I don't see why it becomes such a big deal.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Guest For This Useful Post:

    Lovemyfam  (20-05-2012)

  8. #96
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    346
    Thanks
    130
    Thanked
    120
    Reviews
    2
    The thing I don't get is that many women in this thread have said that the surname isn't a big deal. If that's the case why don't more men take on their wife's surname?

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to EvilWombatQueen For This Useful Post:

    T 800  (20-05-2012),Witwicky  (20-05-2012)

  10. #97
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    5,630
    Thanks
    4,446
    Thanked
    3,495
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    Why I asked is because most people give their children the fathers surname yet don't take it for themselves. So in some ways they follow some type of tradition by doing that and I think it's easy to see why alot of women then choose to change their names also. The question wasn't just for you, it was more a general observation of what most people do, hence the respect part of the tradition (which was your initial question)

    I think the roots of taking on the males surname has alot more to do with than just 'property' It wasn't that simple.
    And regardless of that, alot of people still see a surname as a family name. When you get married your primary family is no longer your parents and siblings, it's your children and husband. So when you give your children their fathers name by following tradition, it's only natural to also have the same family name. To me, that's the purpose of a surname and probably why alot of women choose to change it no matter what it sounds like. Not everyone feels defined by their surname or feels like property by changing it so I don't see why it becomes such a big deal.
    Actually, (inheritance issues aside) the roots *are* about property and the act of transferring the woman from her father to her husband like a piece of baggage.

    The issue is that this patriarchal tradition remains - if your points ring true, males would change their name as well, but this doesn't happen a great deal. Majority of women give up their name and many are pressured to do so even if they don't want to.

    I also don't agree with women having specific titles to indicate whether they are married or not, but that's for another thread.

  11. #98
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    8,245
    Thanks
    1,772
    Thanked
    2,017
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ended 19/6/2014
    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    Why I asked is because most people give their children the fathers surname yet don't take it for themselves. So in some ways they follow some type of tradition by doing that and I think it's easy to see why alot of women then choose to change their names also. The question wasn't just for you, it was more a general observation of what most people do, hence the respect part of the tradition (which was your initial question)

    I think the roots of taking on the males surname has alot more to do with than just 'property' It wasn't that simple.
    And regardless of that, alot of people still see a surname as a family name. When you get married your primary family is no longer your parents and siblings, it's your children and husband. So when you give your children their fathers name by following tradition, it's only natural to also have the same family name. To me, that's the purpose of a surname and probably why alot of women choose to change it no matter what it sounds like. Not everyone feels defined by their surname or feels like property by changing it so I don't see why it becomes such a big deal.
    I don't think most people still give their kids their fathers surname. It seems to be becomming more and more of a trend for children to have their mothers name regardless of the parents relationship status.

    Personally I wouldn't have a different name to my kids and I wouldn't get married and change my last name either. I think a lot of other women feel this way as well.

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  12. #99
    rainbow road's Avatar
    rainbow road is online now look at the stars, look how they shine for you
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    in a glass case of emotion
    Posts
    12,409
    Thanks
    1,187
    Thanked
    8,058
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I'm going to take DPs surname purely for comsetic reasons.
    A) I love it. It's so much nicer than mine
    B) my last name was changed when I was 11, and I only wanted to d it to have the same last name as my brothers. When we have kids they'll have Ander.sson and I'll want the same last name as them
    C) my favourite girls name sounds terrible with my surname by lovely with DPs.

  13. #100
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,471
    Thanks
    415
    Thanked
    558
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'm not changing it partly because of feminist reasons already listed in this thread, but also because of my career. I've been published under my maiden name and it's a total pain in the *** to go on to then publish under a different name. In fact, nearly all the female colleagues I know who are married have not changed their maiden names, and some of them are in their 40's and 50's. It's become such a norm to me to NOT change your name that I was sort of stunned when a friend did recently. I totally thought it was dying out!

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lilahh For This Useful Post:

    HarvestMoon  (20-05-2012),Witwicky  (20-05-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Why is the surname ignored?
    By PR2bMum in forum Choosing Baby Names
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-12-2012, 23:17
  2. Surname problem..
    By Sazeby in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 23-10-2012, 13:16
  3. HELP!!! Baby's surname?
    By BayleysMum in forum Choosing Baby Names
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 27-01-2012, 14:13

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Shapland Swim Schools
Shapland's at participating schools offer free baby orientation classes once a month - no cost no catches. Your baby will be introduced to our "natural effects" orientation program develop by Shapland's over 3 generations, its gentle and enjoyable.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
SRC Pregnancy & Recovery Shorts
Want pain relief during pregnancy, and to continue working and exercising? Fancy a speedy recovery after childbirth? Want to regain your pre-baby body shape fast? Recommended by healthcare professionals, SRC compression products will let your body do its most important work.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!