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  1. #1
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    Default Sleeping arrangements

    Are there any requirements of parents in terms of what sleeping space they provide for children? FOB moved from 2 bedroom to 1 bedroom place and so DD has no separate room. Apparently there is a pull out sofa but this does not get pulled out and she shares a bed with FOB. This to me seems completely inappropriate, even if he didn't have a history involving incest-related adult materials (that according to the family court is not illegal and does not mean anything about FOB as a parent).

    For others with kids having overnight contact, do they have their own room? Anyone else experiencing something like this?

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    I'm sure DS would sometimes sleep with his dad when he stay over. I think I can remember ex MIL saying sometimes they co-sleep with him too. He does have his own room and bed but hey, sometimes he sleeps with me so I dont have a problem with it at all

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    If you are really concerned I think your only option would be to talk to Child Safety. In such matters they seem more inclined to step in and ensure safe practices than the family court.

    PS: Please get your own independant advice before taking any such action, as the above is only my opinion and not to be construed as legal advice at all.

    -------------------

    PPS: My older children share a room with their father when they visit him. The room contains: a queensize bed, a set of single bunks, and a set of camp bunks. DD1 & DD2 get the single bunks. DD3 & DD4 get the camp bunks. And DD5 shares the queen bed with her father. In their case I am unconcerned and see it merely as necessity based on the lack of available space.
    Last edited by sweetseven; 18-05-2012 at 21:25.

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    Unless you are concerned enough to go to child safety there is nothing you can do. There is no requirement for children to have their own room or even bed I don't think. My childrens father and I have been separated and the kids slept in a one bedroom house with 5 adults and two children!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by dairyqueen View Post
    Are there any requirements of parents in terms of what sleeping space they provide for children? FOB moved from 2 bedroom to 1 bedroom place and so DD has no separate room. Apparently there is a pull out sofa but this does not get pulled out and she shares a bed with FOB. This to me seems completely inappropriate, even if he didn't have a history involving incest-related adult materials (that according to the family court is not illegal and does not mean anything about FOB as a parent).

    For others with kids having overnight contact, do they have their own room? Anyone else experiencing something like this?


    when i first split from fob and it was his weekend with his son, he was sharing a 2 bedroom house with another single dad, each dad would share a bedroom with their own child (they only had the kids every second weekend) it went on for about a year and a bit until fob moved into a bigger house with his new girlfriend, and ds got his own bedroom. i never took it as anything sinister or suggestive was happening when they shared a bed, just the fact that fob only had one bedroom and one bed and limited time with his child, so sharing a bed was a chance to spend the whole weekend with his boy.

    my ds was about 15 months to about 30 months when they were co sleeping.

    hth

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    When DP and I were separated, he use to share a bed with DS n Dd would be in a portacot. I got angry coz DS wasn't sleeping prop in the bed with DP an would come home with a temp so the last court date before we got back together I made them put in the court orders that separate bedding is needed

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    DD has a room at BF's (shared with her 1 yr old baby brother i think, she's only there 1/2 school holidays) but she used to sleep with BF and his girlfriend which i was totally against

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    My kids sleep in a bed with their dad when they visit. I have often wondered if the GF sleeps in the bed too, which I would not be ok with. He says she doesn't but who knows.

    As they usually sneak into my bed in the middle of the night also, I don't care in terms of anything inappropriate happening. I do think however that as they grow older (say school age) they should be given their own space to sleep, even if it's just a pullout bed in the same room.

    If I ever found out my ex and his GF were participating in sexual activity while the kids were in the same room/bed, the sh!t would hit the fan. I hope I can trust him to exercise sound enough judgement in that regard and not allow it to happen.

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    Thanks, it has been interesting to read the different answers. Generally I would feel like Mermaid Sister says, and DD does come in with me when she has nightmares. DD has told me of different women being there in the bed, which I am not comfortable with. Even with that I might grit my teeth but... because of his history involving incest-related porn...

    Sometimes (bitter experience here) it is not a matter of whether I am worried enough to talk with child safety so much as if I think that would make matters worse or have any faith it would achieve anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dairyqueen View Post
    Thanks, it has been interesting to read the different answers. Generally I would feel like Mermaid Sister says, and DD does come in with me when she has nightmares. DD has told me of different women being there in the bed, which I am not comfortable with. Even with that I might grit my teeth but... because of his history involving incest-related porn...

    Sometimes (bitter experience here) it is not a matter of whether I am worried enough to talk with child safety so much as if I think that would make matters worse or have any faith it would achieve anything.
    Sorry, not a single parent but the incest related porn is ringing alarm bells. I would be contacting the police and child safety. Even if you just have a chat with them


 

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