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  1. #31
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    Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy  and you really do deserve to be happy & announce it when you'd like, however I think it really depends on your relationship with your SIL & how you should approach the topic, while still being sensitive to her feelings.

    My story quickly-We hadn't seen my SIL for months, she just drops in & out of our lives when it suits.. Anyways last year we lost our twins at 14 weeks & the only contact was a message to DH (once he had told her what had happened) saying 'sorry to hear'... I think it was about 4 days later, she decides to call DH to announce she is 5 weeks pregnant! I found this very insensitive as she couldn't pick up the phone or pop by to say sorry, yet she magically found his number to share her exciting news 4 days later!

    In this situation I would have loved for her to wait a couple of weeks before telling us (as she didn't announce it to other family members until 13 weeks) or at least seem genuine with her 'sorry' message! I was still bleeding for goodness sake 

    If you're close with SIL, I would pull her & your brother aside just before you share the news publicly.. Who knows, maybe if you wait a few weeks she could be announcing her pregnancy as well & that will be easier on everyone 

    Best of luck to both you & SIL xx

  2. #32
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    sorry OP...your SIL has actually lost 4 babies within the last 6 months; i think there might be significant chromosomal problems with the embryos/little babies they create and this i feel opens up a big can of worms. They would potentially be advised to do IVF and chromosomal testing of embryo's etc.

    I feel for your loss also (myself having suffered 2 ectopics and removal of tubes within 4 months last year). Not only have you lost a bub also, you've lost part of your ability to fall pregnant naturally.

    Then you add that your mum has lost 5 potential grandchildren...i think her heart would be breaking. I think it would be the most appropriate to tell your brother and SIL before anyone else and in private. Be prepared to cry. Then you'd need time to listen to them and allow them time to grieve. Then after that, i'm sure they would be happy for you.
    You've all been through an awful lot; try to look at the situation as if its reversed and think about how you would like to be told etc. I think your mum sayiong to wait until you're 4 months is more protective of everyone out of love, by then you'd know if bub woul have things wrong etc.
    Congrats and i hope you get to have a healthy bub to share openly with your family xo

  3. #33
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    Firstly, Congratulations on your pregnancy!

    I think your mum is wanting you to wait until 12 weeks to make sure this one is a sticky bub, I think she is trying to protect you and her family from any more heartache.

    I agree with others that have said you deserve to be happy but I also think you need to be considerate of your brother and sil. No time will be the right time as they will still be hurting, but try to empathise with them. Everyone deals with loss differently.

    My bestie fell pregnant by accident with her 4th baby. She was dreading telling me as she knew we had been trying for close to 12 months to conceive baby number one. She couldn't bring herself to tell me face to face, so she emailed me. I appreciated hearing it from her at 10 weeks. She then told everyone else after the 12 week mark. My point is that I appreciated her considering my feelings and telling me first so that I wasn't confronted with the news in front of people and also I had some time to get used to it before it became public knowledge. I was thrilled for her, but was a little upset for myself. It hasn't affected our friendship and I am grateful for that.

  4. #34
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    Congratulations on your pregnancy. Don't feel guilted into hiding it. But when you do choose to tell everyone. Tell your brother and SIL separately away from everyone ie at their place. Don't let them find out from someone else. They will find it difficult but will understand that you're excited as they would be if and when they fall pregnant again. Just don't expect them to be happy straight away. They will need time to adjust.

    But enjoy it

  5. #35
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    I don't think you should have to wait to share your news. Be sensitive that it will be upsetting for you sil and bro and that is ok too x

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  7. #36
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    1st of all, congratulations, you must be so very happy

    I feel for you mum, I really do, but, I think she needs to realise that YOU are the one thats pregnant & it's YOUR decision as to who you tell & when, I understand she may want to save your SIL & brother the pain, but in saying that, I'm sure they won't flip out because you have some pretty special news, esp as you've had quite a rough patch too! I mean, you know the pain they feel & they know yours, your all in the same boat & under no circumstances would anybody wish this kind of pain on anyone else!
    I think a lot of people handle things differently, & this circumstance it NOT happening to them so they need to deal (& respect) with the decision you make in the matter! After all you not going to be tactless about it?


 

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