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  1. #1
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    Default Im breaking .. I need your help please!

    Im a first time mum. I had my beautiful baby on 5 june 2011.
    Back then when I was just starting my maternity leave I thought one year is just forever....
    Well I feel like I have just blinked and the year is almost over....

    I go back to work on july 2nd and its just approaching way too fast.
    I have to go back to work for two reasons...

    Financially - we have begun the dreaded credit card debt and by the time I go back to work I can see us in about 4.5k debt.

    Bub #2 - we want to ttc in september and we need to save money so im able to stay home again with the next bub.

    I have no choice but to go back 5 days to make it worth our while....

    The very thought of not being with my baby brings me to tears. From spending 12 hours a day with her to 2 hours a day hurts so badly.

    Its been affecting me so badly that I've been having nightmares about horrible things happening to my baby.

    I have even contemplated not having another baby if it meant that I could only work part time but I know I will regret it as I really do want another baby....

    I have thought about a bigger age gap between the two but it doesn't fit in with what we want .....

    Please tell me it will be ok... tell me that you've done it and you were fine?

    My husband doesn't understand and just keeps telling me I will get use to it... but I dont know how im even going to get through the first day at work.... my childcare centre is very supportive and I know they will take care of her and I know she will have a better time there then with me.... but im so upset. I feel like dying....

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  2. #2
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    Gosh knomie, I feel exactly the same! I am returning to work at the beginning of July for the same reasons as you! Despite the practical arguements, I can't overcome my emotions. I must keep reminding myself that I will stay home next time longer when we have a second bub.

    Do you have family nearby to help?

    I'm subbing to hear the responses.

  3. #3
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    CamD, my heart is breaking. I have family but they all work and I dont think it will change how I feel. Im not worried about childcare mistreating her, im just upset for my own selfish reasons. I literally feel like im jumping out of a plane when I think about it... the pain is unbearable

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  4. #4
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    I was seriously dreading it. But you know what? It's really not that bad. You go, you do your job, you go home and cuddle your baby.

    Your not alone, most mums dont want to go back, we all want to stay home and cuddle our babies. But this is what you have to do to get a second baby.

    I honestly don't mind going to work now, I've been back 2 weeks and it's going fine. Yes I would rather be home with my baby but I can survive going to work.

  5. #5
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    I am in your situation at the moment, I start work tomorrow and Ds started daycare last week. I cried the minute I walked into the place,the thought of starting work makes me feel sick. And yes the past year has flewn. I'm fortunate enough that I'm only sending ds 2 days a week. It's a huge adjustment! X

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    I was seriously dreading it. But you know what? It's really not that bad. You go, you do your job, you go home and cuddle your baby.

    Your not alone, most mums dont want to go back, we all want to stay home and cuddle our babies. But this is what you have to do to get a second baby.

    I honestly don't mind going to work now, I've been back 2 weeks and it's going fine. Yes I would rather be home with my baby but I can survive going to work.
    Wow u have given me a bit of hope....

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  7. #7
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    I had to go back to work when DS1 was 8 months and I was devastated! I think the first week back at work I cried every day and all I could think about was bubs. I kept ringing child care to see how he was and as soon as the clock ticked 5pm I was outta there! Worst thing was I worked in teh city so it was an hour commute to get back to cc to pick him up.

    But I do have to say that I did get used to it. Work was great in that they let me leave early when I needed to and completely understood how I was feeling. I think because work was so supportive it made me feel much better about having to go back to work. Also work let me work part time for a couple of months so I could ease into full time work.

    Is it possible for you to work part time at least for a month so its not such huge thing? That way you and bubs can ease into being apart from each other.

    I honestly think DS really didnt mind so much that I wasnt there. But I have to say that when I picked him up, it was so difficult to let go. It really made me appreciate him more IYKWIM.

    You will be ok! I promise! Yes you will miss bubs and thats ok too. Maybe contact your HR at work and speak with them about how you are feeling. I am sure that they will try to help you as well.

    Also because I go paid mat leave I had to be at work 12 months to be entitled to it so we planned DS2 beautifully so that I was there probably 12 months and 1 day before DS2 was due

    WHat you are feeling is completely normal! I think partners sometimes dont have that understanding as they have always had to leave bubs so to them its normal and its hard to explain the emotion when you are with someone 24 7 and that is completely dependant upon you and only you.

    YOu will be okay....promise!

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to FluffyDucks For This Useful Post:

    knomie  (15-05-2012)

  9. #8
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    I went back to work when DS was 5 months old, not out of necessity but because I was offered a new job that was too good to refuse. It wasn't an easy decision, but once we got into a routine, it really worked well.

    I make sure that the time I have with DS on the weekend is spent focused on him.

    And just remember there is an end in sight! Once you have another baby on the way, you'll be able to count down till when you can be home again with your babies

  10. #9
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    Sorry for this off topic bit but Von Zipper how did you get the me29...bit on your post? I can get the ticker but don't know how to just put some words etc



  11. #10
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    My DD has just gone 6 months and i have been back at work (part time) for 3 weeks now. The first day is definitely the hardest! I find though once you get to work and start concentrating on your job the day goes by so quickly and your back cuddling your baby in no time.

    I too only returned to work for financial reasons and so we could set ourselves up so when can start trying for number 2 early next year. I definitely want to stay home longer next time, although i will keep DD in daycare as that way it will give me some quality one on one time with the new bub and wont interrupt my DD's routine.


 

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