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  1. #51
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    Haven't read the entire thread but this is my story...
    I intended to breast feed ds1 for 6mths when I was pregnant. The idea of breast feeding a baby once they have teeth freaked me out so I decided 6mths would be long enough besides the fact that I knew I would be returning to work around then so would be easier to have bub on formula by then.

    Ds was breastfed from day dot, I had plenty of milk, that was obvious but bub was miserable, unsatisfied and constantly hungry. I was exhausted and expressed my concerns to the midwives, the health nurse re my concerns that perhaps there was something wrong with my breast milk as ds just wasn't satisfied and I was not listened to, I would top him up with formula as well as breast feed him every few hours, eventually I was depressed and so exhausted. Bub wasn't gaining weight as he should have been. 4mths later I went to the dr who took a series of blood tests. I had very low haemaglobins, near zero iron. Dr suggested I stop breast feeding, I did and baby thrived, we were both much happier and never looked back. Because breast feeding is deemed the right thing to do I persisted when I knew something wasn't right, if I was listened to instead of being made to feel silly and the breast is best crap pushed onto me i would have saved bub and I 4mths of hell!

    So when pregnant with ds2 my haemaglobins were closely monitored as to not face the same problems. I still wanted to give breastfeeding a go and did feed ds2 but my iron levels got low again even after being on high dose of iron tabs for months , after a few months and ds was becoming increasingly hungry, with this in mind and a toddler to run around after I made the decision to cease breastfeeding at 2mths. This was my decision and a decision I was totally comfortable with, never for a moment did I feel terrible about it this time!

    Breastfeeding doesn't work for everyone! Breast was not best for my bubs, formula was! They are both happy healthy little boys, who cares how they were fed, at least they were fed

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Your choice of words though, really struck me - you DECIDED to stop. Well I decided not to stop, and I did not give up. That was my choice and was the best thing for me and my baby.
    Ok, i'm massively pro-boob (as most people know), but even i really find this offensive.

    I think i know what you mean, and i do appreicate that you're probably not wanting to be offensive.

    But in a society that doesn't support breastfeeding, its often not a real 'choice'. As so many people have said, most of our health professionals understanding of breastfeeding is a short course, (1-4hrs for GP's), and even in a hospital, most of us know the basics
    -attachment
    -help with expressing
    -engorgement.

    So *most* health professionals, unless they have specifically studied lactation cannot help with extensive issues.
    Women are told to just express as syrine/cup/bottle feed that until their nipples heal with no real advice as to how to re-initiate breastfeeding
    women aren't told about supply lines and instead are told to syringe/bottle the formula - and when supply lines are mentioned you often get quite negative responses (well, that's been my experience when i suggest women use a supply line).


    We are culturally set up to fail when it comes to breastfeeding. And admittedly the hospitals/health professionals are trying to change this - just look at all the pro-breast info, and the bfhi accreditation that is rolling around.
    But we need to change the culture, and our culture just seems to see all the pro-breast stuff as an affront to choice, rather than the attempt to give women genuine choice.

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  5. #53
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    I agree that the longer the better for breastfeeding but as long as bub is thriving, that it the major concern. We women must stop judging each other! There are generations of people who were ff and they turned out fine!

    I am one of those who has found breastfeeding very hard. With an emergency c section after a 30 hour labor, and a baby boy at the 99th percentile in length, the delay of my milk coming in (not until day 6!) was the most stressful time of my life. Instead of enjoying my new baby and recovering from the operation, I was given conflicting information and made to feel terrible that my baby was 'starving' while he screamed to be fed. He was given formula from day 4 but as soon as my milk came in on day 6 I weaned him off it - that was a very hard two weeks as his little tummy had already stretched to take the formula and I worked doubly hard to keep up the supply. (motilium, herbs, pumping, co-sleeping - all of which I still need to do to keep on top of the supply)

    I was told by many to switch to bottles, including the area health nurse who mistook his screaming for hunger when it was really reflux. My feelings were of failure, disappointment, anger....I wanted a natural birth and to breastfeed my bub but all was not working out to plan!

    I have found breastfeeding very hard and I'm so proud to have even succeeded for the five months that I have so far! I just keep giving myself a new milestone to achieve - to get to 6 month, to get to one year etc.

    I can see why people chose to stop as I have felt close to it soooo many times but feeling of guilt and disappointment led me to persevere. I also gained a lot of support from bh so forums like this are very helpful in supporting women to continue. Equally, I can understand anyone who stops.

    Life is stressful enough without added pressures....

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    Etienne  (14-05-2012)

  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    All the current research says that it is best to breastfeed until 2. Seems sensible to me.

    MOST breastfeeding problems are temporary and although they can be very difficult to deal with and incredibly frustrating, it is my belief that if a mother wants to breastfeed, she will. It doesn't make her a failure if she doesn't - but I just think that if she is determined to breastfeed her baby, she will make it happen.
    *deep breath* you clearly don't understand, or you wouldn't be making these statements "if you want to bf you will". Ummm, no that's not always the case. I wanted to with all my heart, but what do you do with a child that after almost 3 months has not latched once, even with seeing the ABA and trying every single day before giving a bottle of EBM??

    it goes hand in the hand with the "I actually tried hard at bfing, that's why I succeeded. Women just don't try hard enough" rubbish I've seen on here before.

    As to you thinking there's enough support... why do you think SO many women say they lacked support? I know someone said in one of these threads it can be an excuse, but all of us? let's think about it logically.

    I don't even know what to say to the rest of your stuff to shan, seemed pretty self righteous to me. This is what annoys me about the debate. Always these insinations that bfers are better mothers, care more, tried harder... there are some bfers here that are unashamedly pro bfing as I am, but they realise the complexities of why women ff. I'm friends with a wonderful group of women from this site that all bf and not once have I felt judged or they think less of me.

    It's a shame not all are like this

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  9. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by ShanandBoc View Post
    Yes i decided to stop rather than put myself through another 3 months of torture? Thats a far cry from deciding to cause i didnt want to anymore or i didnt try hard enough which is what you are telling me

    If you seen what i went through i gave it all i could. You have NO idea. I decided to stop for my own sanity. That was the best thing for me and my baby

    You are being very judgmental and unsympathetic when really you have no idea unless u walked in my shoes.

    This is upsetting me now so i best leave it at that.
    it gets frustrating having to justify ourselves all the time. My babies thrived on formula, as well as the EBM my son had. We do the best job we can with the resources we have and the situations we are dealt

  10. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    All the current research says that it is best to breastfeed until 2. Seems sensible to me.

    MOST breastfeeding problems are temporary and although they can be very difficult to deal with and incredibly frustrating, it is my belief that if a mother wants to breastfeed, she will. It doesn't make her a failure if she doesn't - but I just think that if she is determined to breastfeed her baby, she will make it happen.
    Are you serious? Sorry but what a load of crap!
    I managed to tandem BF for 3 months before I got swine flu and was on tammi flu and separated from my twin DD's for 5 days.
    Afterwards I tried and tried for weeks to feed and I pumped and I pumped.
    I spoke to ABA reps and nothing worked. For the first month I had to get others to buy formula because I was so ashamed.

    Do you think I WANTED that? That I didn't TRY hard enough? Because I can assure you I definitely was determined and it still didn't work.
    I hate comments like this, it's bogus!

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  12. #57
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    Ahh but we are just oversensitive and have feelings of guilt mumtob09 I'm waiting for that well used little gem...

    time for me to unsub I think. This thread is annoying me.

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  14. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Ahh but we are just oversensitive and have feelings of guilt mumtob09 I'm waiting for that well used little gem...

    time for me to unsub I think. This thread is annoying me.
    You hit the nail right on the head.
    I think the reason I am so sensitive is because I know I gave it my best and still failed, but hey we can't all be super mums can we? Lol.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mum2b09 View Post
    Are you serious? Sorry but what a load of crap!
    I managed to tandem BF for 3 months before I got swine flu and was on tammi flu and separated from my twin DD's for 5 days.
    Afterwards I tried and tried for weeks to feed and I pumped and I pumped.
    I spoke to ABA reps and nothing worked. For the first month I had to get others to buy formula because I was so ashamed.

    Do you think I WANTED that? That I didn't TRY hard enough? Because I can assure you I definitely was determined and it still didn't work.
    I hate comments like this, it's bogus!
    No, of course you didn't want any of that. Neither did I. Our outcomes were different but the desire was the same. Why does this always have to turn into some kind of weird competition? I'm not angry with anyone, and I'd be the first to try and offer a hand if I knew someone wanted it (in relation to breastfeeding).

    I have already attempted to clarify my post to Shan.... I don't feel the need to justify or explain myself any further.

    Were you actually asking me a question about whether I thought 2 years was the optimum age to breastfed? If so, yes I am serious - ever heard of google? Try googling WHO breastfeeding and it's there for anyone who wants to read it.

    I am truly sympathetic to anyone who has difficulty breastfeeding. I have breastfed 5 babies and my last child I thought it wasn't going to work. I was just as devastated (at the time) as any of you who've struggled.

    None of us know anyone elses story - mine included - and I don't assume to know yours.

  16. #60
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    I should expect it by now, but I am still astonished when people say things like "Failure wasn't an option for me, I didn't give up because breastfeeding was so important to me".

    Enough. You didn't give up because you didn't reach the point where you had to. If you've never reached that point you simply cannot pretend to know what it's like.

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