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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    All the current research says that it is best to breastfeed until 2. Seems sensible to me.

    MOST breastfeeding problems are temporary and although they can be very difficult to deal with and incredibly frustrating, it is my belief that if a mother wants to breastfeed, she will. It doesn't make her a failure if she doesn't - but I just think that if she is determined to breastfeed her baby, she will make it happen.
    Thats not a very fair comment to make imo.

    I wanted to BF more than anything and cried and cried over it before i decided to stop, i just couldnt do it anymore.....i wanted to breastfeed, that had nothing to do with it. Saying 'if u want to BF you will' is a very black and white view.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    I don't disagree with you but as I said we need to look at why these women had issues where does it stem from? We need to look at causes that occurs before the baby is even born or how it is born, look at our c/s rate our induction rate both of these can hinder a breastfeeding relationship and they are both on the rise as our breastfeeding rate is decreasing (yes it has gone up in the past few years but over a long period of time it has decreased). We need to change societies expectations of newborns and mothers of newborns. We need to ensure that they have enough support,not just to breastfeed unto have the time to do it, to learn. We need our villages back. There is a huge expectation put on new mums, to loose that baby weight, to keep up the fast pace of our modern lives, to have a baby that sleeps in its cot all night long. It's just too much!
    I absolutely agree.

    I wonder if it's a generational thing too? Many of our generation (I'm early 30s, so I'm talking 70s/ early 80s babies) were not BF, as when we were born it coincided with the big push from formula companies to use that instead.

    That would mean that many of us don't have family who can help, as they didn't BF themselves. And, in turn, I think a lot of people who were FF themselves don't see the importance of BF, as they see it as "Well I turned out fine."

    Maybe the generation below us will swing back to being more accepting of BF, now that there is a big societal push toward us doing that?

    Up until I had DD (at the age of 32), I had only ever seen one person BF (my sister), and that was on one or two occasions. My mother didn't, my sister didn't for subsequent babies, and I had no friends with babies.

    Since having DD, of course I see it all the time now, and wonder how I never did before!

  4. #43
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I absolutely agree.

    I wonder if it's a generational thing too? Many of our generation (I'm early 30s, so I'm talking 70s/ early 80s babies) were not BF, as when we were born it coincided with the big push from formula companies to use that instead.

    That would mean that many of us don't have family who can help, as they didn't BF themselves. And, in turn, I think a lot of people who were FF themselves don't see the importance of BF, as they see it as "Well I turned out fine."

    Maybe the generation below us will swing back to being more accepting of BF, now that there is a big societal push toward us doing that?

    Up until I had DD (at the age of 32), I had only ever seen one person BF (my sister), and that was on one or two occasions. My mother didn't, my sister didn't for subsequent babies, and I had no friends with babies.

    Since having DD, of course I see it all the time now, and wonder how I never did before!
    I'm an 83 baby, my brothers 79, 81, 84. We were all breastfeed until 2ish my mum was unable to help me due to other commitments but i have to say the best thing she did for me was feeding my half brother when I was 13 it normalized it for me. Yesterday at a family gathering there were my aunties who had all breastfed their children, and my cousins, I am the only one out of 32 cousins (yeah big family) who breastfed past a few months at most (also one of the few who has had her children vaginally much intervention, I had AROM 2 times). One cousin asked me "do you feed her all the time?" referring to DD..um of course I do!

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    ShanandBoc,

    Look, I understand, really, I do. I had a really tough time with my last baby, and did have to use formula with her for a while, while I built up my supply - it was a horrible horrible time, and I really sympathise with you.

    Your choice of words though, really struck me - you DECIDED to stop. Well I decided not to stop, and I did not give up. That was my choice and was the best thing for me and my baby.

    Each one of us has a different set of circumstances to deal with and of course it isn't as "easy" for some as it is for others. We also all have our own personal threshold for where we draw the line, and I completely understand that, but my personality is that I cannot and will not accept defeat. It was not going to beat me, and in the end it all worked out because it was really IMPORTANT to me to continue breastfeeding.

    As I said before, I don't consider anyone else a "failure" for not breastfeeding. I would not accept that in myself, however.

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    Clarabelle, I think there's a huge difference between not 'really' wanting it and not having the support to continue.

    I have a similar personality to you, if I want something I'll do it no matter how hard/painful/whatever but I don't think this means that others stopping early means they wanted it less. Heck, I have friends who weren't all that fussed on breastfeeding but did it - and fairly long-term!

    It sounds to me that shannandboc didn't have the support she needed

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  9. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    ShanandBoc,

    Look, I understand, really, I do. I had a really tough time with my last baby, and did have to use formula with her for a while, while I built up my supply - it was a horrible horrible time, and I really sympathise with you.

    Your choice of words though, really struck me - you DECIDED to stop. Well I decided not to stop, and I did not give up. That was my choice and was the best thing for me and my baby.

    Each one of us has a different set of circumstances to deal with and of course it isn't as "easy" for some as it is for others. We also all have our own personal threshold for where we draw the line, and I completely understand that, but my personality is that I cannot and will not accept defeat. It was not going to beat me, and in the end it all worked out because it was really IMPORTANT to me to continue breastfeeding.

    As I said before, I don't consider anyone else a "failure" for not breastfeeding. I would not accept that in myself, however.
    Clarabelle - what about if you were told to stop, as your baby was losing weight continually? Would you still consider that a 'decision' to stop? Or if you produced no milk, despite the drugs, and despite 24/7 pumping/ attachment skin to skin, etc.?

    I don't think you can judge anyone else's circumstances. You don't know what someone else went through, and how that might have been different from your own experience.

    You had difficulty breastfeeding, and you persevered, and you made it through. That's great. But that doesn't mean that someone else who is having difficulty will have the same result if they do the same thing.

    It's not purely about willpower.

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  11. #47
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    It was suggested that I stop, but ignored the advice and kept going because I felt I was more experienced and well educated (about breastfeeding) than the paediatrician. Seems I was right as I was able to feed her until she was almost 2. I went through everything you just wrote about. I am not being smug, just honest. And yes, I am fortunate that it worked out for me. I know that it's not that way for everyone.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    All the current research says that it is best to breastfeed until 2. Seems sensible to me.

    MOST breastfeeding problems are temporary and although they can be very difficult to deal with and incredibly frustrating, it is my belief that if a mother wants to breastfeed, she will. It doesn't make her a failure if she doesn't - but I just think that if she is determined to breastfeed her baby, she will make it happen.
    I think this is *somewhat* true although I know some people will find it offensive.

    Firstly I have a friend who beleives she "couldn't" breastfeed. When in fact her milk never came in because she had no idea what she was doing and the midwives at our local hospital were crappy at the time. They also treated her like crap because she had a section and was single and young. Her son didn't latch correctly so she had damaged nipples, she was sent home before her milk came in with a pump. She beleved she had to pump while formula feeding. She didn't know she actually had to put her ds on the breast! They told her to pump until her milk came in and therefore it never did. In this case education and support were needed.

    Now with me, I researched like crazy and was determined to bf. I again got bad advice from the same hospital and DD wasn't latching properly. I had blisters and cracks after a few hours of feeding. I started on a nipple sheild as a last resort on day 3, still had immense pain.

    Worked out through the help of bubhub that it was vasospasm. When my nipples healed I was still in agony and would use a heat pack and heater to help. In this time I was using thrush treatment and finished a course of antiobiotics after dr said I had a staph infction in my nipple.

    *warning tmi*
    For over a week I was using panadeine forte to feed over night. It constipated me and I ended up having my poo manually removed by a nurse. I would cry and pinch myself to distract from the pain of feeding. It was hell and it went for months. Until the weather warmed up and vaso died down. In this time I had no access to help being in a country town. I almost had to catch a plane to another city for help. Luckily I found an LC in training who was able to help with the latch but she also encouraged me to give up because at this point I was exhausted and felt suicidal. And I almost did but I felt like the last two months were wasted if I gave up then so I perservered.

    Fast forward to now DD is 6 months old, winter is coming and I'm getting pain again. I am very committed to breastfeeding and giving my DD the best start in life but "if" I got to that point of unbearable pain again now at 6 months I would consider stopping.

    My point of telling all that was I beleive breastmilk is one million times over better than anything I can give my baby but if someone told me they had vasospasms and had to give up I wouldn't have one ounce of judgment! What I went through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.


    Baby wearing, co-sleeping, booby feeding mummy to one

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    ShanandBoc,

    Look, I understand, really, I do. I had a really tough time with my last baby, and did have to use formula with her for a while, while I built up my supply - it was a horrible horrible time, and I really sympathise with you.

    Your choice of words though, really struck me - you DECIDED to stop. Well I decided not to stop, and I did not give up. That was my choice and was the best thing for me and my baby.

    Each one of us has a different set of circumstances to deal with and of course it isn't as "easy" for some as it is for others. We also all have our own personal threshold for where we draw the line, and I completely understand that, but my personality is that I cannot and will not accept defeat. It was not going to beat me, and in the end it all worked out because it was really IMPORTANT to me to continue breastfeeding.

    As I said before, I don't consider anyone else a "failure" for not breastfeeding. I would not accept that in myself, however.
    Yes i decided to stop rather than put myself through another 3 months of torture? Thats a far cry from deciding to cause i didnt want to anymore or i didnt try hard enough which is what you are telling me

    If you seen what i went through i gave it all i could. You have NO idea. I decided to stop for my own sanity. That was the best thing for me and my baby

    You are being very judgmental and unsympathetic when really you have no idea unless u walked in my shoes.

    This is upsetting me now so i best leave it at that.
    Last edited by ShanandBoc; 14-05-2012 at 14:19.

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  16. #50
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    Shanandboc,
    I don't think you read the rest of my post and only focussed on what you considered to be a criticism of you.

    I'll post it again:
    Each one of us has a different set of circumstances to deal with and of course it isn't as "easy" for some as it is for others. We also all have our own personal threshold for where we draw the line, and I completely understand that, but my personality is that I cannot and will not accept defeat. It was not going to beat me, and in the end it all worked out because it was really IMPORTANT to me to continue breastfeeding.

    As I said before, I don't consider anyone else a "failure" for not breastfeeding. I would not accept that in myself, however.

    My post was more about me, than you! I'm so sorry about how things didn't work out for you. I really do get how you feel. I wish you all the best if you choose to try it all again next time. If you don't well that's your choice, and good for you! You said you tried your very best, and that's all you can do. You have every right to feel proud of your effort!

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