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  1. #31
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    I put myself through hell to breastfeed for 3 months. It was agony. Lac consultants couldnt even help me. I switched to formula after that and suffered immense guilt and a feeling of loss. I will NEVER do that again. If i have the same issues with No. 2 ill just switch to formula but ill give it my best shot!

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    Whilst I strongly support breastfeeding and went through a lot to breastfeed my children, I also say that there shouldn't be a minimum age for stopping.

    Some children have adverse reactions to breastmilk and thus stopping earlier rather than later is beneficial for their health.

    Some mothers suffer with PND and can become resentful of breastfeeding their child. In those circumstances, it is much better for the child to be nourished by formula and a happy Mum, rather than breastmilk from a depressed Mum.

    And there are those women that are adverse to breastfeeding at all. I remember my (now ex-)husband's aunt complaining about how she was disgusted by the thought of a baby hanging off her breast, and how the maternity hospital had really distressed her by pressuring her to breastfeed with her previous child. She was so traumatised by the experience that she was planning on an early discharge for her upcoming birth to avoid it as much as possible.

    I am a strong believer in individual autonomy, and someone like my (now ex-)husbands aunt shouldn't have been put through that when it was something she did not want to do.

  3. #33
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    It would be awesome if more mothers tried to breastfeed for 12months, but any amount of time is an achievement, so long as we re all mindful of others decisions and situations I couldn't careless if you breastfed for 3years, 3months or not at all

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    Thanks missie mack....BF is something im very passionate about. Im not pregnant again yet but its something that worries me. My breasts were awful. They are big and my nipples are quite small....one is inverted and i constantly had tears on them and my breasts were soo sensitive i had a hard time even wearing bras. She was latching right too i think its just me Just the thought of it makes me cringe.

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    double post
    Last edited by ShanandBoc; 14-05-2012 at 13:13.

  6. #36
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    All the current research says that it is best to breastfeed until 2. Seems sensible to me.

    MOST breastfeeding problems are temporary and although they can be very difficult to deal with and incredibly frustrating, it is my belief that if a mother wants to breastfeed, she will. It doesn't make her a failure if she doesn't - but I just think that if she is determined to breastfeed her baby, she will make it happen.

  7. #37
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    Given only 5% of women can't breastfeed I think we need to focus on things that are causing issues for women who want to breastfeed. As a previous poster mentioned the social conditioning begins at such a young age, dolls with bottles and dummies both of which hinder a healthy breastfeeding relationship. The type of birth and immediate care after birth plays a huge factor, we need to start education before birth! GPs who are usually the first port of call receiving more than 4 hours of training (which is done by aba councilors), more free lactation consultants for the entire breastfeeding journey, education about things that effect supply or hinder it. We need to change our expectations of newborns or educate ourselves (pregnancy education) about normal newborn behaviour, we need better support networks for new mothers, breastfeeding a newborn is a 24/7 job! We need to stop trying to disassociate ourselves from our babies by trying to teach them to self settle and be away from us- teaching them to be alone with all these baby gadgets.

    For example, yesterday one of my cousins was sharing with me her story, her baby self weaned at 6 months, he was a big baby rolls and rolls of baby squishyness, he would feed all the time for 30 min or more, it was exsessive she said, so she started using an iPhone app to time his feeds, she would only feed him for 13 min at a time. And she thinks her baby self weaned. Seriously.

    What's the min age for breastfeeding..if I am totally honest with myself I'd say 2 years but I would never pressure anyone to continue past what they are comfortable with be that never or whatever it's called bodily autonomy.

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  9. #38
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    Also, I'm a little confused when people comment that more support and education is needed. We have vast amounts of information available to us about breastfeeding, if we are interested in learning about it. The internet has made this even more possible than it was in the past.

    I also completely agree with what Thermolicous says here:
    We need to change our expectations of newborns or educate ourselves (pregnancy education) about normal newborn behaviour, we need better support networks for new mothers, breastfeeding a newborn is a 24/7 job! We need to stop trying to disassociate ourselves from our babies by trying to teach them to self settle and be away from us- teaching them to be alone with all these baby gadgets.

    This is absolutely spot on! If first time mums were encouraged to spend more time educating themselves on breastfeeding rather that the latest gadgets, maybe it would be an easier transition into motherhood. I'm not saying for one second, that it's not fun and exciting to check out all these "things" but really most of it is just stuff, and so unnecessary!

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    I also think that the stat of 5% of women not being able to BF can be misleading, as it refers to women who simply cannot BF despite all kinds of interventions to try to make it work. I think there are many more women who can't BF without great great difficulty.

    I'm not sure I can explain this very well, but I'll try...

    I know many women who were able to BF with not much difficulty. By 'not much' I mean that they may have had some latching on issues, often had over-supply issues, pain for the first couple of weeks, and then within a month they seemed to have it sorted.

    I also know many women for whom it was much more difficult. Women who tool Motilium, expressed/ did skin to skin contact for hours (days) at a time, took Fenugreek, saw different LCs, and still - weeks on - found that their babies continued to lose weight and that the feeding was not improving. Some of these women got there in the end, and most didn't.

    Of these women, it may be that only a small amount (or even none) fell into the 5% who would 'technically' be unable to do it category. However, despite trying everything that they could find to do, and despite taking advice from the ABA and other professionals, they were not able to succeed.

    Now, if they'd kept going another day/ another feed, maybe they would have got there. But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that at some point, under those circumstances, we all draw a line. Whether that's after the first day, first week, month, 6 months, we all draw one somewhere. And I guess where we draw it depends on how important BF is to us, how we judge the situation in terms of impact on family/ baby, and what we are mentally, physically, and emotionally capable of doing at the time.

    So I would say that although maybe 5% 'technically' have no milk/ will not succeed, I would say that a higher number still are unable to do it - for other reasons beyond wanting an 'excuse' to give up, not really wanting to do it in the first place, etc.

    I know it's a small distinction, but I think that sometimes people who have had a relatively easy BF journey can often use that statistic (the 5%) to dismiss someone as having given up too soon/ unnecessarily. (Not saying you were, Thermolicious, but it's one that I hear used a lot IRL, e.g., "Well, she said she had no milk, but statistically only 5% of women have no milk...").

    I absolutely agree with all those who have said that more support is needed for BOTH those who want to BF, and those who don't. I think there is a lot of pressure out there to BF and to FF. It seems like whichever one you do, people will pressure you to do the opposite/ question your feeding method!

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  13. #40
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    I also think that the stat of 5% of women not being able to BF can be misleading, as it refers to women who simply cannot BF despite all kinds of interventions to try to make it work. I think there are many more women who can't BF without great great difficulty.

    I'm not sure I can explain this very well, but I'll try...

    I know many women who were able to BF with not much difficulty. By 'not much' I mean that they may have had some latching on issues, often had over-supply issues, pain for the first couple of weeks, and then within a month they seemed to have it sorted.

    I also know many women for whom it was much more difficult. Women who tool Motilium, expressed/ did skin to skin contact for hours (days) at a time, took Fenugreek, saw different LCs, and still - weeks on - found that their babies continued to lose weight and that the feeding was not improving. Some of these women got there in the end, and most didn't.

    Of these women, it may be that only a small amount (or even none) fell into the 5% who would 'technically' be unable to do it category. However, despite trying everything that they could find to do, and despite taking advice from the ABA and other professionals, they were not able to succeed.

    Now, if they'd kept going another day/ another feed, maybe they would have got there. But I guess the point I'm trying to make is that at some point, under those circumstances, we all draw a line. Whether that's after the first day, first week, month, 6 months, we all draw one somewhere. And I guess where we draw it depends on how important BF is to us, how we judge the situation in terms of impact on family/ baby, and what we are mentally, physically, and emotionally capable of doing at the time.

    So I would say that although maybe 5% 'technically' have no milk/ will not succeed, I would say that a higher number still are unable to do it - for other reasons beyond wanting an 'excuse' to give up, not really wanting to do it in the first place, etc.

    I know it's a small distinction, but I think that sometimes people who have had a relatively easy BF journey can often use that statistic (the 5%) to dismiss someone as having given up too soon/ unnecessarily. (Not saying you were, Thermolicious, but it's one that I hear used a lot IRL, e.g., "Well, she said she had no milk, but statistically only 5% of women have no milk...").

    I absolutely agree with all those who have said that more support is needed for BOTH those who want to BF, and those who don't. I think there is a lot of pressure out there to BF and to FF. It seems like whichever one you do, people will pressure you to do the opposite/ question your feeding method!
    I don't disagree with you but as I said we need to look at why these women had issues where does it stem from? We need to look at causes that occurs before the baby is even born or how it is born, look at our c/s rate our induction rate both of these can hinder a breastfeeding relationship and they are both on the rise as our breastfeeding rate is decreasing (yes it has gone up in the past few years but over a long period of time it has decreased). We need to change societies expectations of newborns and mothers of newborns. We need to ensure that they have enough support,not just to breastfeed unto have the time to do it, to learn. We need our villages back. There is a huge expectation put on new mums, to loose that baby weight, to keep up the fast pace of our modern lives, to have a baby that sleeps in its cot all night long. It's just too much!

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